I can't write S-E-X...

Why not write around it, or not write it at all? If it doesn't feel right it might be because it doesn't belong there

Is it important to the story for you to get into the level of detail that is making you uncomfortable? Can you just end the scene and leave the reader with a clear implication that things got x-rated from that point on?

Then don't do it

I've never liked to write sex scenes or of love, so I work around it.

If you must, then just don't go into detail.

Sweaty skin. Labored breaths. Rustling of covers.

Don't go into detail, but find a way to note: Bill and Sherry had sex that night.

There's no reason you have to write it. You could subtly allude to it having happened, or just write the build-up and 'fade to black' when the actual sex starts.

Some books work better without throbbing members and glistening honeypots all over the place.

From someone who's written a ton of sex... I would suggest biting the bullet, reading up on how to write sex scenes and doing it.

There's no secret to sex scenes. Like anything else, they're just study and practice.

Here are some guidelines:

1) focus on emotions
2) use concrete details for sense impressions
3) structure lots of action-reaction smoothly and in close proximity. One partner does X, resulting in feeling Y in other partner.
4) Don't make it too long or describe every single motion. Skip from highlight to highlight. Use short markers to indicate the passage of time.
5) sex scenes are a lot like action scenes in that they involve motion taking place in heightened time. The skills to write a good action scene can transfer over into a sex scene.

Good luck!

Paging Scarlet Parrish ...

I would certainly steer clear of any descriptive sexual references that include a phrase like "chimichanga-bang-bang."

How important is this? I would second the previous comment about setting up the innuendo and then letting the screen fade to black.

"After the car wreck, we returned to the motel room and I opened the door with shaky hands. She made me sit on the corner of the bed and she poured me a drink to help my nerves.

She handed me half a glass of warm bourbon. I thought about how badly it needed ice when she reached for my belt buckle and tugged it loose. She lowered herself from the bed to the floor.

"Don't talk. Drink. Let me help you."

— End of chapter

I'm just trying to write about the morning after... with her in his t-shirt as they sit on sofa... cheesy cliche stuff... but I just dont feel like I am getting that point accross in my writing at all.

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Maybe post a snippet on SYW and see what others think? A fresh perspective can sometimes work wonders.

crunchyblanket said:

Some books work better without throbbing members and glistening honeypots all over the place.

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Anything by Enid Blyton, definitely.

If it's absolutely integral to the story then I'd suggest reading some other writers' scenes and I'd also highly recommend this blog written by AW's own Stacia Kane. I learned a lot from those posts.

Also, you may want to check out Erotica SYW. You'll need a password from one of the Erotica mods, but you can check out what others have written, read critiques and if and when you feel comfortable, you can always post your completed scene in there for comment and feedback.

Good luck!

seun said:

Anything by Enid Blyton, definitely.

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Really? But her books are full of Dicks and Fannies!

A contrary opinion to the erotica crowd...

A sex scene doesn't have to be graphic if you don't want it to be. Find some books with love scenes in them that don't make you feel uncomfortable, and analyse them to work out how the author does it. Also, as KYCactus points out, you don't have to show the sex, just lead the reader to the bedroom door and let them imagine the rest...

I say write it yourself. Research Research Research

CC.Allen said:

Yes, crunchy, that is all I'm trying do ... after the deed (which I am not including at all) I am just trying to get the point accross that these two have gone there & are now in love.

I'm just trying to write about the morning after... with her in his t-shirt as they sit on sofa... cheesy cliche stuff... but I just dont feel like I am getting that point accross in my writing at all.

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Okay, so the problem isn't the sex, it's the emotions that come afterward. Maybe you need to let it stew a little( meaning, think on it a bit more). Sex can be a BIG game changer. Not only will your characters be thinking about what happened, but they'll also be thinking about how this changes their relationship. This might be the time to bring up fears, pre-conceived expectations and the reality of picking up the relaionship and moving it forward.

Get inside your characters' heads. How did they feel about things immediately before consumating their relationship? This will help set the stage for the emotional highs (and maybe lows) that come afterward.

Sex is so much more than the tittilating, pleasure seeking drive we all have. And blow-by-blow (no pun intended) action can have it's place in a story, but it really isn't all that important, or even all that intersting, IMO. It's what happens afterward that's the real story.

Btw, I write great sex, <shrug> but as a writer and reader I'm not all that interested in the mechanics. It's what happens right before and right after that is the most interesting and what will drive your story forward.

Give it your best shot. You may be overthinking it. Then post it for others to weigh in on.

Good luck!

First, this thread: http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=136357

That has some truly invaluable advice on writing sex scenes.

Also, seconding the poster who suggested checking out Stacia Kane's blog.

Finally--I also have some trouble writing sex scenes, to the point where I try to avoid them. Then someone--can't recall who--described a sex scene as "like any other action scene." For some reason, that really switched the lightbulb on in my head.

But if your trouble is the morning after, maybe you shouldn't be looking at sex scenes at all for your research. Pick out some romance novels, and skip ahead to the mornings after. (Someone else may have to rec you some books because I don't read a lot of romance...)

Bottom line, the best answer to any kind of "How do I write a _____ scene?" question is to locate some good books with ______, and just read and take notes.

crunchyblanket said:

Really? But her books are full of Dicks and Fannies!

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Having a gay old time.

I'll be leaving now.

CC.Allen said:

Hey all... I am pretty well along in editing my current WIP. The story has nothing to do with a sex novel (hope that is not offenisive to the many who do write in this genre, but I don't know what to call it). Anyhow, I do have these two characters that eventually get together for a little roll in the hay. And... I can't do it. I just don't have the imagination or the ability to write these two little sections. I have tried and I have re-written them many times over the summer.

My question is something along the lines of: Can I ask someone else to write these sections for me? This is my first ever attempt at writing anything of any nature. I am very happy with everything else and don't know if I am butchering my own reputaion by even asking this question. (FYI ... it's not even the actual chimmi-changa-bang-bang stuff ... really just the pos-act stuff...)

Any thoghts?

Thanks a ton, in advance,
~Casey.

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you can always ask someone else, you can learn, or you can skip it--going from
"He got up, walked to the bedroom door, and closed it."
to
"After they finished, he stretched and slipped his hand into hers. She was already asleep. He smiled."

is every bit as acceptable as
"He pushed her into the door hard enough to bruise her, but she clearly didn't mind. She pulled him forward and kissed him, hard and reckless, banging one of his teeth with hers. He could taste her breath as she slipped a hand down his side and around the front, long fingers slowly....." and going into full detail.

your call, but don't think you only have the single option.

Always write your stories yourself, but don't write anything that feels stifled to you or just does not seem to fit. Sex scenes can be a subtle or graphic as you choose.

I'm surprised Scarlet has not shown up here yet....

Susan Littlefield said:

I'm surprised Scarlet has not shown up here yet....

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I know...


all I can figure is her morning coffee is overpowering the pungent aroma of a ripe sex thread.....

CC.Allen said:

Hey all... I am pretty well along in editing my current WIP. The story has nothing to do with a sex novel (hope that is not offenisive to the many who do write in this genre, but I don't know what to call it). Anyhow, I do have these two characters that eventually get together for a little roll in the hay. And... I can't do it. I just don't have the imagination or the ability to write these two little sections. I have tried and I have re-written them many times over the summer.

My question is something along the lines of: Can I ask someone else to write these sections for me? This is my first ever attempt at writing anything of any nature. I am very happy with everything else and don't know if I am butchering my own reputaion by even asking this question. (FYI ... it's not even the actual chimmi-changa-bang-bang stuff ... really just the pos-act stuff...)

Any thoghts?

Thanks a ton, in advance,
~Casey.

Click to expand...

I understand your plight. Part of the reason I can't write sex scenes is moral purposes and next is just that I'm so damn uncomfortable writing it which is because I'm not a very intimate and emotional person to begin with and that alone makes me very uncomfortable. But that's okay. If you can't get over that discomfort write around it. Elude to it if you must.

Another solution, go ahead and write that horrible sex scene and cringe along they way. Then get some distance and set your mind to... embellishing it I guess. That's kind of what I do. Add on as I go and I've come out with decent scenes, not that I would ever publish it.

Anyway, I'm not the best person to be answering this, but I hoped it helped.

Somebody get scarlet in here please...

I write "sex novels" they are called erotica, or romance, I had reviews that said I did a good job, fantastic job, of weaving sex into the story so it flowed as part of the story and not just dropped in sex.

If you think these two scenes need to be there, then by all means put them there, but the fact that you wrote the rest without them, is saying that they may have that dropped in feel to them. The sex should flow naturally into the narrative.

It can be as little as, they go out to dinner, kiss on the door step and she asks him inside, he goes in and the door shuts and the bedroom light shine out ont he street until the shade goes down.

Instant they had sex.

Then the next chapter starts at breakfast. They might be casual about it, or awkward, that's up to you. But you have to think about what it does for their interaction after that not just the morning after.

If you choose to do a more steamy scene, it has to flow naturally. If you use words like glistening man hood, and heaving bosoms and the rest of your story is not a romance novel that supports those kinds of things, the scene is going to stick out like well, you know what.

Use the same tone you do for the rest of the novel, make it grow naturally, and think on your own personal expediences.

Then get it to a beta reader who reads or writes novels with sex in them.

A sex scene is no different than any other scene. Its interaction between characters, and if you have set them up to have a relationship, it should flow naturally out of that relationship.

You may be over thinking it in a OMG this S E X! way. What is making it hard for you to write the scene?