Moving to a scene out of the plot

Dungle · Nov 13, 2011

My 2 main protagonists were separated for 5 years. They come across each other again and one has to explain to the other how a friend they shared as teenagers died while away in the army. Is it best to explain this in dialogue with the 2 main characters or is it going to be acceptable to take the reader to the time and scene where their friend died?
Or is that too much like a movie??

Donna Brown · Nov 13, 2011

Depending on how you present it, either one could work. Just avoid any kind of info dump in the process.

mirandashell · Nov 13, 2011

It's hard to say without reading the two scenes. It all depends on how you write them. Are you thinking dialogue vs flashback? Then I think the question to ask yourself is how central is the death of the friend to the plot? Will the flashback move the story along or is it the author trying to disguise an infodump?

I don't mean that in a nasty way. I'm just asking whether it's the death of the friend that's important or the reaction of the MCs. If it's the second, then dialogue is probably the way to go.

TheIT · Nov 13, 2011

Consider what you're trying to achieve with this scene. Who is the POV character? Does the one telling the story want to tell the other everything exactly as it happened, or does he intend to hold anything back? Does the listener believe what he's being told?

With dialogue, you can add uncertainty. The storyteller can pick and choose the facts to relate. The listener hears and reacts, and might react badly. With a flashback, the reader will see what happened, but that doesn't show how these characters feel about these events in the present. They're processing this now, not then, especially for the one hearing the news fresh for the first time.

Dungle · Nov 13, 2011

It's quite important as they were all close friends and that death added to one of my MC's plight in his private life. It's a contribution as to why he's had a tough time since my other MC moved away to go to university. It is also going to help my 2 MC's get closer together again.

I've opted to write it as dialogue as like a couple of you have mentioned, it could seem like a massive info dump. There's nowhere else, thus far, that a flash back happens in the story. I don't want to just throw one in there as it seems pointless now that I think about it.

Thanks for the advice guys

dangerousbill · Nov 13, 2011

Dungle said:
My 2 main protagonists were separated for 5 years. They come across each other again and one has to explain to the other how a friend they shared as teenagers died while away in the army. Is it best to explain this in dialogue with the 2 main characters or is it going to be acceptable to take the reader to the time and scene where their friend died?
Or is that too much like a movie??

Both can be done and have been done. Whichever works for you. Personally, I'd go for the flashback, but I'm not you.

Being like a movie is not a problem. People watch enough movies these days that they're trained to process audiovisual stories, so writing a good novel is largely creating that filmstrip in the reader's head.

If I can't see a scene play out in front of my, I know it's not going to work and no one's going to like it or read it.

Dungle · Nov 13, 2011

dangerousbill said:
Both can be done and have been done. Whichever works for you. Personally, I'd go for the flashback, but I'm not you.

Being like a movie is not a problem. People watch enough movies these days that they're trained to process audiovisual stories, so writing a good novel is largely creating that filmstrip in the reader's head.

If I can't see a scene play out in front of my, I know it's not going to work and no one's going to like it or read it.

Maybe I'll write both and see what one fits best. Going from the dialogue though, I'm struggling to find out how to move the conversation along. I've never had to have such a conversation before so I'm finding it hard as the conversation is sad for the MCs to deal with.

TheIT · Nov 13, 2011

Dungle said:
Maybe I'll right both and see what one fits best. Going from the dialogue though, I'm struggling to find out how to move the conversation along. I've never had to have such a conversation before so I'm finding it hard as the conversation is sad for the MCs to deal with.

Write the flashback first so you know exactly what happened. Then consider what your storyteller character would tell his friend about the events and write that scene. Try to put yourself into each character's place - if necessary, try writing the scene from the storyteller's POV and again from the listener's POV. No matter which version you finally decided to include, it's a good exercise for handling POV.

RobinDelany · Nov 13, 2011

you can do either. Just don't tell it through internal thought.
Robin

NeuroFizz · Nov 13, 2011

These are general suggestions, so exceptions will likely exist for individual stories:

If the impact of the death on the characters is the most important thing for the story, do it through dialogue between the characters or some other way that involves the characters (without the flashback).

If the details of the friend's death are important to the story (over and above their importance to the characters), do the flashback.

If one of the characters was directly involved in the death of the friend, do it either way, whichever is more effective.

Keep in mind that gradually letting out details about something like this is a tool that can maintain some intrigue or tension concerning the emotional basis of a character's actions and reactions.

BotByte · Nov 14, 2011

If the conversation or the scene that they are talking about it the purpose of the story, start the entire story there and move on. Starting with the dramatic parts.

Or you can shorten it. Like: We spoke about Bart, our old friend who died. He was the reason why I chose this, he was also the reason for my friend to chose this.

Or note on it through the story. This would be the "fight as we talk" which I love.

And if the conversation is relevant, just add it in anyways. But it must lead to a large conclusion at the end.

About the dialogue flow. "When words end, actions begins."
You can either have some talking and break it up with a outside force interrupting. Or describe the scene and setting as if there was a awkward silence. Or have one grow slightly out of character and emotionally out of control.

Sam Best · Nov 14, 2011

Something I've always liked in this situation is the "book-end" approach: Your characters are sitting there talking, the subject of death comes up, and the chapter ends with one of the characters preparing to talk about it. Then the entire next chapter is the story of how the friend died, told either from third person or first person, depending on who was there. After that story, the next chapter picks up with the two friends in present time.

thothguard51 · Nov 14, 2011

Dungle said:
My 2 main protagonists were separated for 5 years. They come across each other again and one has to explain to the other how a friend they shared as teenagers died while away in the army.

It really depends on POV, IMHO...

If you are using multiple characters in 3rd person PoV, then you have to stay in PoV. Meaning the one explaining had to be present at the time of their friends death. If they were not present, then how does the character know the details enough to do a vivid flashback?

Dungle · Nov 14, 2011

NeuroFizz said:
If the impact of the death on the characters is the most important thing for the story, do it through dialogue between the characters or some other way that involves the characters (without the flashback).

This.

It's about them connecting again, feeling each others emotions. It's a love story, and the 2 MCs split up and are reunited 5 years after the splt. Katy left for uni and contact ceased between her and all her friends in her home town. She wanted to avoid all contact with the life she left behind in her home town.
They were a circle of friends as teenagers, but only for a short time, so the death of that friend she left behind with her broken relationship hits her quite hard. My other MC, Aaron had grieved and was now getting on with life. Now it's Katy's turn and Aaron helps her.
I think I'm taking too much on as I've not been in this situation before. I'm kind of lost as where to take it once they have that conversation.

Moving to a scene out of the plot

Dungle

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mirandashell

TheIT

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Dungle

dangerousbill

Retired Illuminatus

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TheIT

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RobinDelany

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NeuroFizz

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BotByte

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Sam Best

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thothguard51

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Dungle