Barbie Play and Dialogue

GreenEpic · Nov 7, 2011

I'm not sure if this is in the right place, but:

I want to know the best way to write a young girl playing alone with her Barbie dolls. She will be speaking for every character of her barbies. Her sister is listening in to this.

Should I simply put start quotes at the beginning of each paragraph and an end quote when she is done speaking?

Rough example:

"I like you, Barbie.
"I like you too, Ken.
"Thank you!"

Is there a better way to portray this? Should my narrator step in and interpret anything?

Orianna2000 · Nov 7, 2011

Just me personally--I dislike dialogue that's missing end quotes. It may be grammatically correct, but it always makes me pause and try to figure out why the quotes are missing. This is a tricky situation because you're quoting someone who's, in essence, quoting someone else (the dolls). If it was me, I would just pretend like the dolls were speaking for themselves, with a note that the girl is the one speaking. Something like:

As Katie watched from the doorway, Cindy jiggled her Barbie doll--the one with the super-long blonde hair--walking her along the edge of the bed. She raised her voice to a high pitch in order to speak for Barbie, and then deepened her voice to speak for Ken.

"I like you," Barbie said to Ken.

"I like you, too," Ken replied. "Will you marry me?"

"Oh, Ken! I thought you'd never ask."

Fake kissing sounds ensued and Katie had to stifle a giggle by clamping her hand over her mouth. Had she ever been that young and silly?

GreenEpic · Nov 7, 2011

I think you're right.

Perhaps using italics also to sort-of indicate she's speaking for her dolls? Maybe that's too much? I don't want to treat the reader like they are stupid and need every indication that she is playing.

Orianna2000 · Nov 7, 2011

GreenEpic said:
Perhaps using italics also to sort-of indicate she's speaking for her dolls? Maybe that's too much? I don't want to treat the reader like they are stupid and need every indication that she is playing.

I wouldn't use italics. Italics and/or bold text really catches the eye and draws attention to the words, so use them sparingly. If you make sure to say that she's speaking for the dolls, so it' clear, then italics will be unnecessary.

Susan Coffin · Nov 8, 2011

No italics. I would just do it as regular dialogue with proper quotation marks. After all, the girl is speaking, even if she is speaking for her barbies (oh boy, that takes me back!

). Dialogue has end quotes.

Don't forget to show her with the barbies too- moving them about, etc.

Phaeal · Nov 8, 2011

I like Orianna's solution. It's simple and clear -- no need for fancification.

Barbie Play and Dialogue

GreenEpic

...because you don't know yourself

Orianna2000

Freelance Writer

GreenEpic

...because you don't know yourself

Orianna2000

Freelance Writer

Susan Coffin

Tell it like it Is

Phaeal

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.