Who should I write a sex scene for?

huh?

If this is part of a story that involves characters, you should use whatever words your characters would use.

If this is a letter to Penthouse's editor, I suggest you read their pieces and see what words they like.

If you're preserving it for posterity, it's your story, do what you want.

Either way, a cock has been a cock for much longer than 20 years.

You write the scene the same way you write any other scene with the same degree of catering to (or not) the audience.

That depends on what you want your target audience to be. Is it a love story or is it a whole, three-dimensional, and yes, sensual experience that the reader journeys through with you? It can take some out of the story if you exclude the sex scenes, but it can also let more people buy and enjoy your book.

But hey, sex happens.

reiver33 said:

In a different genre I'm writing a piece in which the male MC (early 30's) has a relationship with a woman in her early 40's. For resonance I'm basing it on a real-world relationship I had some twenty years ago, one so intense and (mostly) enjoyable the memories are still daisy-fresh (and can still make me shiver).

However, my question is - should I describe the sex scenes in the language we used, to maintain the resonance, or modify it for a wider audience?

Click to expand...

How would you propose to do that?

When writing sex scenes, I write to please myself, knowing that there's someone out there twisted in the same way I am, who will resonate with it.

The weakness of erotica is that there are so many variations on the sex act and related acrobatics. People are attracted to some and repelled by others, ie, "One person's tender love scene is another person's disgusting squick." What titillates me might put my friend to sleep.

So it's hard to write erotica that's generalized to a wide audience. Plain vanilla, missionary sex scenes have a large enough audience, but there are only so many ways to do Tab A in Slot B. A larger, complex plot is needed to create the emotional environment that makes such a scene interesting.

The market for BDSM is large, because (I think) it lets people stretch their imaginations beyond their own experience. Even so, there's some who won't read it and don't like it if they do. The same goes for other variations and fetishes. It's hard to write scenes that are going to please everyone.

reiver33 said:

In a different genre I'm writing a piece in which...

Click to expand...

Why wouldn't you ask the same question in a forum here that more closely matches your genre? If you're writing science fiction, for example, asking questions in this room about how best to describe sex scenes might not be your best bet.

That's not to say the folks here won't try to be helpful, but you're barking up the wrong genre, so to speak.

Silver King said:

That's not to say the folks here won't try to be helpful, but you're barking up the wrong genre, so to speak.

Click to expand...

In his place, I'd do the same. It's usually unproductive to discuss anything about sex or erotica in an audience that's not geared up for it.

The first time I read an erotic story to my crit group, all the feedback had to do with their reactions to the sex scenes. ("Yuck. I'd never do anything like that.") (Subtext: You must be some kind of pervert.)

Nothing about the writing, characterization, plot structure, etc.

Writing sex is like writing anything else. Tell your story to the best of your ability. Tell it in a way true to your characters, and in a language true to your setting.