Help!

I`m a German and I have translated this short text - as you can see. It is an excerpt from my novel "Prey World III - Organized Rage". Can you understand the sense of the text?
I would be glad, if you could help me - or edit it.

“What is the greatest talent of the tick? It is the tick`s greatest talent to fall unnoticedly on the dog, crawl unnoticedly through its coat and find a place to suck blood – unnoticedly. That`s the great talent, nature has given to the tick.
But even thousands of ticks couldn`t rule over a dog`s life, to the contrary, they would just suck their host out to the last drop of blood, till it would be dead, because nature hasn`t given the tick the talent to rule. And it is the same with our enemies. In the moment, they have to rule over this planet, their reign will start to crumble...”

Artur Tschistokjow in: “The Way of the Rus”, Chapter VI, “The Enemy Unmasked”

Thanks, Kenn! This sounds much better

This is another short text from the fictional book "The Way of the Rus", maybe you can give me some feedback concerning the grammar...

„My enemies will laugh about me. They will laugh about me and my movement, and will say: “That Tschistokjow is nothing but a little worm, because he has nothing. And a man who has nothing, is nothing but a little worm!”
Yes, maybe they have all the power, the money, the military and the media, but they forget that I have a lot of very strong allies! My allies are: poverty, hunger, discontent, hate, injustice, fear, hopelessness, despair, oppression, disorientation and many more!
A few decades ago, the Europeans have lived in a giant cage of illusions, our enemies had built for them. They have lived in the great illusion of freedom and wealth. And a false freedom and a deceitful wealth have been the two things, that have made them to happy slaves. But these illusions have already died in 2018.
And all what remained, were our allies, that will help us now to fight the world enemy. God bless our allies! They make us the gift of millions of Europeans, who have nothing to lose anymore. They force the people to fight and sort out the cowards and weaklings. Therefore, the enemy should never underestimate our allies, because they will give us the hotbed a revolution needs!”

Artur Tschistokjow in: “The Way of the Rus”, chapter XVIII, “The Coming Awakening”

I just need to ask, Alex, which market are you writing this for, hun? Are you looking at publishing it in Germany? America? England? It's just that there are people here from different countires and they may crit this based on their grammar and syntax 'ways'. Which may not be of much use to you.

Click to expand...

It is for the English-speaking market and it is already published in Germany. I`m glad about every help concerning grammer and syntax, because I translate the book on my own.

Prey World is a dystopic novel (maybe like "1984") with a "dark" background. So it is more for adult readers, not for all too young readers. The translation was furthermore some kind of "crazy idea". I didn`t think about a specific market, when I translated my book. I`m glad, if an English-speaking reader likes it - and maybe starts to think about some things. The excerpts are from a fictional "ideological" book in part III, so the military voice fits, as I think.