should I use this word?

sissybaby · Sep 20, 2011

Hi,

Several of you are familiar with snippets of my current WIP, in which the character, Miracle, resides.

My question has to do with a word he uses. Remember, this guy is really old, and he's not simple, but lives a simple life in the country.

So in one particular spot he uses the word suspicioned, as in "I suspicioned that was the case."

Now I'm pretty positive that it isn't a real word, although I have heard it used by oldsters all my life, growing up in the south and all.

But I'm not sure if I should leave it in a MG book.

Would appreciate any thoughts. Oh, and thanks in advance.

sissy

suki · Sep 20, 2011

Out of larger context, I'm not sure. But my thinking is, if you are only concerned about this one word, and it is used sparingly, don't obsess over it. Any decent agent or editor wouldn't think negatively about the book because of one word - it's a simple line edit fix

Now, if your real question is can he credibly use a lot of words like this one, that I think you can only get reliable feedback on by posting an excerpt or asking betas, so the language can be read in context.

but if it's just this one word? Don't sweat it.

~suki

HarryHoskins · Sep 20, 2011

Are you suggesting that the word won't be understood by your audience or are you suggesting it's not right for your character?

If it's the former, I would keep it - kids are experts in making up words.

If it's the latter, I would keep it because it would seem to be true to the character.

My personal, non MG, opinion...

I likes it!

ColoradoKate · Sep 20, 2011

I agree--I definitely would leave it. I think it'll be easy for MG readers to figure out, and I think it adds nicely to the "voice" of the story.

Smish · Sep 20, 2011

I've never heard anyone use that word. Interesting.

But I agree with the others that it's fine.

sissybaby · Sep 20, 2011

Thanks, everyone.

He only uses the word once, but someone outside the boards commented on it not being a real word. Well, I knew that, but I still wanted to use it, but only if it isn't going to be a problem.

For now it stays where it is.

I appreciate your help.

MsJudy · Sep 20, 2011

The person who said "It's not a real word" needs to go Google "dialect." Of course it's a real word--in a non-standard dialect of Southern US English.

As both a writer and a former linguistics major, I gives you permission to use it.

Ferret · Sep 20, 2011

I don't see a problem with using the word the way you've described. Even though "suspicioned" is regional, it's very easy for people who have never heard it to figure out. And wouldn't English be boring without its regional differences?

sissybaby · Sep 20, 2011

Thank you, MsJudy, for the official permission. I won't worry about it any more.

Actually, I didn't realize it was an actual word, although I grew up hearing it from my southern family.

My mother was very fond of the word larrupin. I never knew it was an actual word until recently. We always made fun of her (in a kind way) for using it.

typical example: "Are those dumplin's good?" "Oh, yes, they're larrupin!"

MJWare · Sep 22, 2011

I think it comes down to knowing the 'rules' before you break them.
Take Alex and the Ironic Gentleman (from our own Adrienne Kress) Girl MC, but lots of boys liked it--you might even call it a boy book.
Still, the Girls name is Alex, on the cover she looks like a boy, and she's a tomboy. Rule broken well.

Once you know the rule, have read tons of MG, you can probably decide if you can or should break it (same thing for grammar rules, look at this sentence).

But, from your reply it sounds like you've already done that =-)

jkababy · Sep 23, 2011

I like that word. You're the author. Do what you want.

Velcro · Sep 23, 2011

Why only use it once? It might flavor the character's dialect nicely if he uses it a few times during the course of the story. Otherwise, some readers might think it was just a typo (especially those kids who aspire to make it big in Spelling Bees).

Just a thought.

that redhead · Sep 23, 2011

I've only read a piece of your WIP, but it sounds like something Miracle would say. I'd leave it!

Birdy22 · Sep 23, 2011

I agree that you should use that word.

Zombie Kat · Sep 26, 2011

Have you read any Andy Stanton? He uses made up words all the time in his kids' books.

sissybaby · Sep 26, 2011

Zombie Kat - nope, I'll have to check him out. Thanks so much.

K.P. Iris · Sep 27, 2011

I was never raised in the south but nearly all of my relatives are from the south. So I've heard them say a myriad of words I know aren't in the Standard English Language dictionary and were never used around me that often. It didn't stop me from understanding them even though I saw them rarely. My boyfriend is a different issue. Couldn't understand a word of what some of them were saying during Thanksgiving. lol

In any case, I say go ahead and use it. It sounds like a word that a kid might assume is real. And, considering your target audience is MG, it should be pretty easy for them to understand what Miracle is saying since it's just a modified form of "suspicious." Like other posters have pointed out, it certainly adds a unique feel to the story when dialogue is sprinkled with quirky words like that.

benbradley · Sep 27, 2011

Velcro said:
Why only use it once? It might flavor the character's dialect nicely if he uses it a few times during the course of the story. Otherwise, some readers might think it was just a typo (especially those kids who aspire to make it big in Spelling Bees).

Just a thought.

I like this, if the character does stuff like that he'll do it more than once. But rather than using this same word twice, I'd look for another place where this character might "verbize" [SIC, yeah, I know!

] another word. Maybe at one of these instances have another character say "You talk funny," indicating that others know it's a fake made-up word, but don't make it a big deal.

sissybaby · Sep 28, 2011

Thanks so much, KP and Ben, for your comments and suggestions. He does use odd words, sprinkled in here and there for my amusement. I just wanted to make sure it wouldn't be a problem.

Inkblot · Oct 11, 2011

sissybaby, it sounds to me -- based on what you just said -- that you're doing exactly what you should be doing: giving each character his or her own voice. This character has a voice like some of your southern relatives. Great!

Kelkelen · Oct 12, 2011

If you've heard people use it in real life, then OF COURSE it can be spoken by a character from a similar area! Mark Twain went nuts with that kind of thing. :-D

should I use this word?

sissybaby

suki

Opinionated

HarryHoskins

Straw-fed

ColoradoKate

Smish

Reads more than she writes.

sissybaby

MsJudy

Ferret

Dook!

sissybaby

MJWare

Kidlit gang, Junior member.

jkababy

Children, ready yourselves.

Velcro

Scribbling Scribe

that redhead

Birdy22

Zombie Kat

Bacteria are your friends

sissybaby

K.P. Iris

Just call me Iris.

benbradley

It's a doggy dog world

sissybaby

Inkblot

New kid, be gentle!

Kelkelen

Writer-In-Progress