Question about scripts for children's animated programmes

[Mikael]

I was wondering how one would write a script for an animated programme where the story is told by the narrator and the body language of the models/characters and any character dialogue is followed by, 'says character x', such as in a story book. An example being:


Fred the frog hops out of his pond, and bumps into Steve the slug.

"Hello," says Fred, "where are you off to?"
"Oh, nowhere special," says Steve, "just sliding around."

How would I present the above in a script format, preserving the narrator's 'says character x' info along with the dialogue?

Thanks in advance,

Mikael

[Joe Calabrese]

Not sure what you mean...

Does the narrator say the frog's and slug's lines? or does he say the action that precedes it?

If he say's the frog's and slug's lines then it would be...

NARRATOR (V.O.)
(as Fred the Frog)
Hello... where are you off to?

NARRATOR (V.O.)
(as Steve the Slug)
Oh, nowhere special... just sliding around.

I don't see the point of having a narrator do this though, I would just have each character speak for themselves and if the producer want's the same actor to play both then so be it.

Now, if you want the narrator to say certain actions that are not clear in either dialog or action, then have him as a separate character, like...

EXT. POND'S EDGE - DAY

A bright autumn day as FRED, a fat old frog leaps forth from the water and onto the a dirt path.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Fred the frog hops out of his pond, and bumps into Steve the slug.

FRED THE FROG
Hello... where are you off to?

Steve The Slug slowly turns his head and grins at Fred.

STEVE THE SLUG
Oh, nowhere special... just sliding around.

[dpaterso]

You mean like Thomas the Tank Engine? I'd write it exactly as you have it -- which is how it appears in the childrens' books. Yes you're writing prose, but the entire line is meant to be read out, not just the dialogue, so suspend screenwriting rules, don't break it down into character name and dialogue, e.g. and just for fun's sake:

SCENE 22. EXT. RAILWAY STATION - DAY

Thomas pulls into the Railway Station and stops alongside Puffing Billy, the coal train engine, who is looking very sad.

"What's wrong, Billy?" said Thomas.

"Oh, I'm having a terrible day," said Puffing Billy.

...All of the above (from "Thomas pulls into...") would be read by the narrator, except the slugline.

-Derek
My wittle web page - hack stories, failed novels, dud screenplays, terminal writer's block. (http://hometown.aol.co.uk/DPaterson57)
The fool, the meddling idiot. As though his ape's brain could contain the secrets of the Krell.

[Mikael]

Does the narrator say the frog's and slug's lines? or does he say the action that precedes it?

Both.

I don't see the point of having a narrator do this though...

I'm not sure whether programmes were ever made in this way in the US, but when I was a child, in the seventies, two insane - and insanely popular - cartoon series called Bod, and Rubarb and Custard were made like this in the UK. There was also Thomas the Tank Engine, but I could never stomach it. Also they did preserve the 'says/said/thinks/thought character x' bits as well , so perhaps it might run something like:

NARRATOR (V.O.)
(as Fred the Frog)
Hello... where are you off to?
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Says Fred.

or maybe:

NARRATOR (V.O.)
(as Fred the Frog)
Hello... where are you off to? (says Fred)

Either way seems clumsy.

Anyway, I suppose both of your examples answered my question. Thanks for your help Joe. Hope you make a speedy recovery.

Mkael

[Mikael]

Thanks Derek,
That's exactly what I was looking for. Strange that you should mention Thomas the Tank Engine while I was writing my reply to Joe. I could never stand it. My wife bought a copy of it on video for our son, who loves it, so I've hardly got any teeth left due to all the grinding when he wants to watch it.

Mikael