Another Self harming thread

missesdash · Jul 26, 2011

I have a scene where my MC shows her scars to her LI and he shows his in turn. They talk about it a bit, like the methods they used and when they stopped.

The problem is that it feels sort of romantic. That's not exactly what I was going for, but would that be considered romanticizing self mutilation?

Kyla Laufreyson · Jul 26, 2011

If I read it, I don't think I would see it as romanticizing self mutilation. It's like when I read about one character kissing another's scars. It's a personal moment between two people, involving a lot of trust. As long as it's more about the characters than it is the self-harm, I see no problem with it.

Liosse de Velishaf · Jul 26, 2011

Arianna Sterling said:
If I read it, I don't think I would see it as romanticizing self mutilation. It's like when I read about one character kissing another's scars. It's a personal moment between two people, involving a lot of trust. As long as it's more about the characters than it is the self-harm, I see no problem with it.

This. It sounds like a romantic-ish scene, but that doesn't mean it's romanticising the actual self-harming. The fact that they both stopped also speaks volumes about their opinion of the practice.

missesdash · Jul 26, 2011

that's a good point. I guess it would be romanticizing if they were sitting around cutting themselves together.

MoLoLu · Jul 27, 2011

Done this scene in real life, would definitly not think of it as romance in any form. The whole topic of self-harm is fairly unromantic and I can't think of any reason anyone would see it as otherwise. To me it invokes an image of trust, possibly even physical intimacy. Even more so as it involves admittance to something which is unpleasant. You can replace the scars with pretty much any unpleasant secret of a physical or emotional nature and you get a similar result.

Shady Lane · Jul 27, 2011

Agree with the others.

vivalalauren · Jul 27, 2011

That's a huge admission of trust, which could add to the romantic tension, but I think it will be evident to all readers that you're not glorifying the practice. think of it this way: if two characters were exchanging stories of sexual abuse, no one would think you were validating the abuse continuing.

Becca_H · Jul 27, 2011

I have friends who self-harm. Some of them did it in front of me. It was anything but romantic. I was terrified they felt like this.

As others have said, it's more a trust thing, and this is probably what you are seeing in your story. Self-harming, on it's own, couldn't be less romantic.

Bracken · Jul 27, 2011

I know what you mean... kind of like the movie "Side & Nancy" romanticized IV drug use, in a way, even though it showed them go downhill, even though they both ended up dead in the end.
When two characters bond over something self-destructive and secret, it does seem romanticized.
But... it's reality, you know. It can seem that way in real life, too.
Just be sure and show the consequences as the story goes on.

BunnyMaz · Jul 27, 2011

This sounds like a good, touching, intimate scene, and I'd agree with the others above that it wouldn't seem to romanticise self harm.

Liosse de Velishaf · Jul 27, 2011

missesdash said:
that's a good point. I guess it would be romanticizing if they were sitting around cutting themselves together.

Even then it depends on the context, but that would definitely be more risky.

thebloodfiend · Jul 27, 2011

Thank you for starting this thread. I will lurk as my MS has a character who self-harms too.

Another Self harming thread

missesdash

You can't sit with us!

Kyla Laufreyson

Oops

Liosse de Velishaf

missesdash

You can't sit with us!

MoLoLu

Shady Lane

my name is hannah

vivalalauren

Becca_H

Where am I again?

Bracken

BunnyMaz

Ruining your porn since 1984

Liosse de Velishaf

thebloodfiend

Cory