Question About Absent Parents

thebloodfiend · Jul 19, 2011

In my novel, my MC's girlfriend's parents are never home. I acknowledge that they leave her alone around three days a week to do socialite stuff and pretty much ignore her. She's eighteen and left on her own with access to their bank account. One of my betas commented that I had a major case of DPS and that it was way too convenient, though I do point out that she wishes her parents were home more often. Is this unrealistic? And if it is, how would I make it more realistic?

Netz · Jul 19, 2011

She's eighteen. She could leave home and have her own bank account if she wanted. If she was younger, sure, it could be a problem but I don't see it as one in this case.

J.W. · Jul 19, 2011

What's DPS?

Netz · Jul 19, 2011

I'm guessing 'Dead Parent Syndrome'.

inkspatters · Jul 19, 2011

If she's eighteen and her parents are only leaving her alone three days a week (plenty of people move out at this age! A lot of people like space and independence, some don't, that's all up to personality type. But if she's eighteen and her parents are with her all the time I'd find them a bit overbearing, tbh. Even if she is still in high school). Anyway, I think that the situation is perfectly realistic/not even irresponsible of the parents (except for maybe giving their teenage kid full access to their bank account. But I assume that's explained in the story?) or weird in any way, imo.

eventidepress · Jul 19, 2011

I dunno, I had my own bank account at 16 (with parental view) and then an independent one (without parental view) when I turned 18. I don't think it's that unusual? Of course, I started college a month after I turned 18 and moved across the state, so I sort of needed the independent bank account...

trolly dei · Jul 19, 2011

I agree that if she's 18, independence is fine. I had my first job and my own bank account at 14 and moved out at 18, so parent involvement at that age doesn't necessarily have to be a lot. You can still avoid DPS by giving the parents personalities and motivations and lives of their own, as opposed to being absent for the sake of convenience.

thebloodfiend · Jul 19, 2011

Ah, great replies everyone.

DPS stands for disappearing parent syndrome. I will probably write one scene that they're present in, just to acknowledge their existence. But I didn't know if I had to make a sub-plot that revolved around them.

sheadakota · Jul 19, 2011

I see no problem with an 18 yr old being alone that often- however- Having access to the parent's bank account?

No way, never. I love my kids but there is no way they would EVER have access to my bank account! Can I stress that point again- NEVER-

At 18 they should be quasi independant and that includes a job with thei own bank account- or an account set up in their name if they are college bound.

missesdash · Jul 19, 2011

Doesn't DPS only apply to your MC? Seems a bit much to expect every parent to be developed. At least having them away explains the absence.

thebloodfiend · Jul 19, 2011

Yeah, it only applies to the MC's GF.

His parents are divorced, but his mom still tries to stay around. I just haven't introduced her yet and I'm 16k in.

His best friends parents are briefly mentioned, but they're also split.

I've heard a lot about parents being involved with the characters, but since they're eighteen and don't really have strong relationships with their parents, I didn't see the point in writing much about them. I just didn't want their absence to be seen as a convenient way for her and the MC to get together and have sex whenever they wanted.

Though I will re-think the bank account thing. I'll probably make it a limited credit card or something as she does not have (and doesn't plan on getting) a job.

eventidepress · Jul 19, 2011

thebloodfiend said:
Though I will re-think the bank account thing. I'll probably make it a limited credit card or something as she does not have (and doesn't plan on getting) a job.

It could be a joint account? That's what my brother had before he got his first job. Our parents would put his allowance into the account (or money for car repairs or whatever) from their bank accounts, so it was in all 3 of their names? And he couldn't access the parent accounts, just the one with his name on it, but my parents could see all of the accounts...

thebloodfiend · Jul 19, 2011

egoodlett said:
It could be a joint account? That's what my brother had before he got his first job. Our parents would put his allowance into the account (or money for car repairs or whatever) from their bank accounts, so it was in all 3 of their names? And he couldn't access the parent accounts, just the one with his name on it, but my parents could see all of the accounts...

Yes, that's what I meant. Thank you!

J.W. · Jul 19, 2011

From the sounds of it I don't think you need to make any changes.

When I first started submitting my work to get critiqued I went out of my way to demonstrate I was “cool” with criticism and I became overly receptive to everyone’s opinions. Meaning, if someone said the sky should be red not blue, I’d change the sky in my story to red even if it didn’t make any sense to me. Eventually, I learned that some critiques are valid points helping me strengthen my story and some aren’t. I’m not accusing you of falling into the same mindset I was in. I’m just warning you to be careful with your betas.

I’m more than happy to take a look at a couple of chapters by the way. I really liked what I read yesterday. The Zach and June story, right? It would be really embarrassing if I’m getting you confused with someone else.

Lol. If I’m not, PM me.

Cheers!

Jamie.

Ajisai · Jul 19, 2011

As much as the absent parent thing annoys me, I could probably buy this scenario given the age and financial situation of the MC. Eighteen is at least a legal adult, and the word "socialite" can explain a lot of things away that I wouldn't accept in a book about a "normal" middle class teenager.

gayle12 · Jul 21, 2011

I think it sounds fine. DPS can be a real concern in YA, but one of the tenants of YA is that it's about the kids/teens and not the parents. Given that she's 18, and you've explained why her parents aren't around, I'd say you've done more than your due to explain it and good for you. It's a bit of world-building that can go a long way to allow for certain situations.

JennieRose8 · Jul 22, 2011

I personally hate writing in parents. I have no clue why. I think mine is a case of "Charlie Brown Syndrome"- LOL you know how the adults are never seen?

Mine are seen, but my MC is also 18, so she's left to herself a lot. Still, her mom does barge in when needed. I'm thinking of cutting her lose for the most part.

So I wouldn't have an issue with your MC basically being parentless.

Alitriona · Jul 22, 2011

I still have a credit card for my dad's bank account. I've had it for almost 20 years. I use it for paying his household expenses when he's not around. I'm responsible with it now but when I was that age there was many a splurge on needless things. I was indulged a lot in my youth, probably still am a little, although now I don't take advantage of it.

I don't think it's unrealistic at all for an 18 year old to have access to bank accounts if the parents aren't around. It really depends on social background and how responsible they are.

Question About Absent Parents

thebloodfiend

Cory

Netz

Freshly caught writing bug lives!

J.W.

Netz

Freshly caught writing bug lives!

inkspatters

The coordinates keep changing...

eventidepress

trolly dei

I'm in love with everything!

thebloodfiend

Cory

sheadakota

part of the human equation

missesdash

You can't sit with us!

thebloodfiend

Cory

eventidepress

thebloodfiend

Cory

J.W.

Ajisai

gayle12

Write. Edit. Publish. Repeat.

JennieRose8

Alitriona

Attends The School of AW