A word about PC tune-up web sites

No.

In two words: Hell no!

They will do more harm than good, especially if you decide NOT to pay the $30 or more for their dubious service and even more to subscribe.

Short of the ultimate performance enhancement (format the hard drive, re-install the operating system and install ONE security suite), you can tune up your own PC and keep it running at its best for free.

1. Browser toolbars = spyware. Ditto for coupon agents, weather monitors, news scanners, stock tickers and promotional desktop themes and screensavers. They all suck up precious CPU cycles and RAM that belongs to YOU. Buried in the end-user license agreement is your implicit permission to spy on you. Uninstall 'em all and never install them again. If you're prompted for an explanation or hounded by a "Please don't go!" popup, just say "spyware sucks and so do you." Tune-up websites rarely advise you to uninstall toolbars and agents.

2. In IE, Firefox, Safari and Opera We Trust. Nearly every other browser, especially those offered by search engines and web crawlers, are spyware in disguise. DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! DANGER!! DANGER!!

3. If you're not sure how it got installed, uninstall it. Just don't touch anything from Adobe (Adobe Reader, Flash, Shockwave), Microsoft (if you're running Windows), Mozilla (Firefox and Thunderbird), Sun or Oracle (Java), and other trusted sources. If you didn't install it yourself, something or someone else did. Uninstall it and delete its folders from Program Files. If you're never, ever going to buy the full retail versions of any trial software that was pre-installed on your computer, get rid of it as well.

4. Regularly purge dormant user accounts, and don't create a guest account if you don't need it. Windows is lazy and it starts up services for all of the user accounts, even those that never log on. Uninstall unneeded applications that other users have installed.

5. Empty out the Startup folder in the All Programs menu in Windows Vista and Windows 7. In Windows XP, drag the Startup items to the desktop and reboot the computer. If things aren't quite right, you can drag them back. Any mission-critical startup applications will start without a shortcut in the Startup folder.

6. ONE security suite is enough, and the cheaper (FREE!), the better. If you've let your McAfee subscription lapse and you installed Norton without uninstalling McAfee, you've got two scan engines running and slowing down your system. Uninstall any antivirus and security software that's no longer needed. You might need to download a separate uninstaller from the publisher's website. Security software is sometimes harder to get rid of than a virus. If you want to start from scratch, consider Microsoft Security Essentials (www.microsoft.com/securityessentials). It's free to users of genuine Windows XP, Vista and Windows 7, it's not a resource hog and it updates itself every day.

7. Build a tune-up toolkit. Visit www.piriform.com and download Ccleaner and Defraggler. They're freeware but if they save your butt, a donation is a nice gesture. Run Ccleaner and alternate between the system cleaner and registry cleaner until both come back clean (nothing more to delete or fix). Reboot and run Defraggler. Reboot again after Defraggler finishes and, great Gawd A'mighty! Is THIS the same PC that was crawling like a snail?

8. You can't change the oil while the engine's running. Set aside time for regular PC maintenance. If your computer gets a lot of use, use Ccleaner and Defraggler once a week. Otherwise, once a month is plenty. Close everything that's running and proceed with a proper shutdown and power-up to flush out the memory. If you restart Windows, it rubs its hands with glee and says "Oh, boy! I'm going to see how much code and data I can leave in memory since it's not going to completely lose power!" Stale code and data can become corrupted and turn into system-slowing garbage. The extra few seconds are worth the wait.

Yeah, you're right. I forgot to mention that regular maintenance should be done without anything else running.

I also forgot the 75% rule: The system drive (where the operating system resides), regardless of capacity, should never exceed 75% used space, which is why it's a good idea to slice up 500MB and larger drives into separate operating system (about 40GB for Windows XP, 60GB for Vista and Windows 7), program and data partitions.

The tune-up web sites have been joined by device driver update sites, and are most likely run by the same shady operators.

Beginning with Windows XP, the operating system regularly checks for updated Microsoft-approved device drivers if you use the recommended Windows Update settings. You don't have to pay for something you already have, and you don't have to give someone the right to spy on you and sell your contact information.