With tongue firmly in cheek...
Several months ago, I endeavored to update my (XP Pro SP2) PC with the SP3 patch... Utter failure ensued in too many ways to bemoan. I uninstalled that foul curse forthwith, and went on a vigorous torch and pitchfork witch hunt throughout the registry with Ccleaner to ferret out all traces of that hellspawned patch. The forces of good and righteousness prevailed; my PC repented and came back into the fold of functional MS mediocrity.
A few weeks ago... I was weak... I backslid... A "friend" suggested that I try the SP3 update again - because "all the little annoying issues" had been addressed by the benevolent alchemists of the Great Northwest.
In a moment of delusional hope... I - I succumbed... to temptation... I am so ashamed...
O woe! The digital fecal matter struck the atmospheric oscillation device with a vengeance of biblical proportions! The very soul of my PC seemed torn asunder - applications choked and sputtered, wireless connections vanished, sucked into a nameless void, and an ominous green glow began to pulse through the seams of the drive slots. But it was the trace echo of demonically demented laughter spiraling from my steaming speakers that sent ice into my blood and paralyzing despair into my heart. My vision paled, graying around the edges... darkness soon claimed me and I knew nothing.
They found me days later, dehydrated and hollow-eyed... the PC's electric plug dangling from my clenched fist... the PC devoid of life - or power.
I have recovered to some degree from my ordeal... With the help of a renowned local exorcist, I have managed to restore the PC - albeit it to a mere shadow of its former self - thus, finding some semblance of digital competency. Yes, there are scars, bitter reminders - warnings not to be ignored! My few remaining friends believe me obsessed - I warn them nonetheless... For I now know, beyond speculation or doubt, that something dark and powerful, a seething eldritch evil that once thought to claim this realm as its own, even now lurks just beyond our awareness - patiently probing with subtle tentacles at the boundaries of this reality - a horror that burns fervently with the consuming desire to dominate all.
...Beware...
Bill Gates, a minion of Cthulhu? Who knew?
Several months ago, I endeavored to update my (XP Pro SP2) PC with the SP3 patch... Utter failure ensued in too many ways to bemoan. I uninstalled that foul curse forthwith, and went on a vigorous torch and pitchfork witch hunt throughout the registry with Ccleaner to ferret out all traces of that hellspawned patch. The forces of good and righteousness prevailed; my PC repented and came back into the fold of functional MS mediocrity.
A few weeks ago... I was weak... I backslid... A "friend" suggested that I try the SP3 update again - because "all the little annoying issues" had been addressed by the benevolent alchemists of the Great Northwest.
In a moment of delusional hope... I - I succumbed... to temptation... I am so ashamed...
O woe! The digital fecal matter struck the atmospheric oscillation device with a vengeance of biblical proportions! The very soul of my PC seemed torn asunder - applications choked and sputtered, wireless connections vanished, sucked into a nameless void, and an ominous green glow began to pulse through the seams of the drive slots. But it was the trace echo of demonically demented laughter spiraling from my steaming speakers that sent ice into my blood and paralyzing despair into my heart. My vision paled, graying around the edges... darkness soon claimed me and I knew nothing.
They found me days later, dehydrated and hollow-eyed... the PC's electric plug dangling from my clenched fist... the PC devoid of life - or power.
I have recovered to some degree from my ordeal... With the help of a renowned local exorcist, I have managed to restore the PC - albeit it to a mere shadow of its former self - thus, finding some semblance of digital competency. Yes, there are scars, bitter reminders - warnings not to be ignored! My few remaining friends believe me obsessed - I warn them nonetheless... For I now know, beyond speculation or doubt, that something dark and powerful, a seething eldritch evil that once thought to claim this realm as its own, even now lurks just beyond our awareness - patiently probing with subtle tentacles at the boundaries of this reality - a horror that burns fervently with the consuming desire to dominate all.
...Beware...
Bill Gates, a minion of Cthulhu? Who knew?
