Vonnegut on the semicolon.

Michener loved them.

I think that like transvestite hermaphrodites, the occasional semicolon adds spice to life. However, life would get a little surreal if every second person you saw were a transvestite hermaphrodite.

Quite a few writers, agents, and editors have some peccadillo that they are just adamant about (hating the ol' semicolon is a fairly common one).

Sometimes it can reach absurd levels.

List of World Problems
1. Global warming
2. Nuclear weapons
3. Use of semicolon
4. Cancer

I like Audrey's apt analogy.

Semicolons serve useful purposes, when writers know how to use them; therein lies the rub.

I love Vonnegut's work, but I don't know what the semicolon ever did to him.

It seems like he just didn't understand what they are for; at least from his definition: transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing.

And if it's true that: All they do is show you've been to college, should I use even more of them to give the illusion that I didn't drop out? I mean, do they show I enrolled, or do they show I got a degree?

Whatever; all of it, I guess, so I'll keep using them. I like people to think I've been to college. I wish Vonnegut had said semicolons show you've been to the moon!

kkwrites said:

‎"Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college." - Kurt

Agree? Disagree?

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utterly disagree.

They have a place and feel that isn't a comma, or an em, or anything else; they also have their proper uses, like this long-ass sentence with a splice.

I think semi-colons are filling in for coma splices. People used to be a lot less anal about them, and sometimes you need to omit a conjunction for rhythm or style. Periods are wrong if they cleave a single idea into two separate clauses.

I understand what KV means, and he is right if you are aiming at a widest possible audience and using characters and settings that would make them seem out of place, but not across the board. Exposition that sounded like a college professor, in between dialog by country farmers in 1932, in a book about drought and upheaval, would definitely seem out of place. It seems less out of place in a book of modern folks in the city running into vampires. I see semicolons all the time in modern setting books.

Disagree.

It sounds like the opinion of someone who's feeling a bit self-important to me.

DeaK said:

I love Vonnegut's work, but I don't know what the semicolon ever did to him.

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A gang of semicolons jacked his first manuscript; they crashed the manuscript; all the words were jumbled and utterly irretrievable; Kurt has grieved the loss ever since.

Ticks Disagree box and moves on to next question.

kkwrites said:

‎"Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college." - Kurt

Agree? Disagree?

Click to expand...

It's a stupid rule. Here's the real rule:

If you know how to use semicolons and know that using a semicolon in a particalar place is both correct and effective, use it. If you don't know how to use semicolons, learn. If you can't be bothered to learn, then and only 'don't use them'.

kkwrites said:

‎"Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college." - Kurt

Agree? Disagree?

Click to expand...

Bollocks. I use them and I left school at 16. They're part of the writer's toolkit like anything else.

Kurt Vonnegut's mother was murdered by a pack of wild
semicolons, and I feel you are being just the least bit
insensitive.

I keep a shoebox full of semicolons on my desk. But, I use far fewer of them than I once did.

I'd like to take this time and ask why it's called a "semicolon" instead of a "half-comma."

In fact, I'm going to start calling it a "half-comma" from now on. Semicolon sounds like what you'd be left with after being mauled by a bear.

Maybe he was just scared.

kkwrites said:

‎"Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college." - Kurt

Agree? Disagree?

Click to expand...

Eh? That's one of the weirdest things I've ever heard.

So, disagree, I guess.

Semicolon: What you have after colon surgery.

Vonnegut is exactly right. If you write a sentence that needs a semicolon rather than a comma, you've written a sentence that can be improved dramatically with a rewrite.

At best, a semicolon is a sure sign that you didn't write the best possible sentence. For most, it's just too easy to let a semicolon stand, and too difficult to rewrite the sentence.

JayMan said:

In fact, I'm going to start calling it a "half-comma" from now on.

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I'm trying to follow the logic. Wouldn't your change make it a "half-colon"? In that case, we're left with just a period, which puts in Vonnegut's goofy camp.

The headache this is giving me is worse than a bear-mauling; it feels as if I've been run over by a semi.

Great guy, wasn't he. For anyone who hasn't seen it, here's a short video: Kurt Vonnegut on the Shape of Stories.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oP3c1h8v2ZQ&feature=player_embedded

Cracks me up.

As a writer, I tend not to use semi-colons. As a reader, I don't mind other people using them. If they use them well, I probably don't even notice them.

Novice writers sometimes use them poorly. That's okay. Novice writers are allowed to do everything poorly.