This is a true story, a biography of Oscar the Rat. Don’t feel you have to critique it. I simply put together some diverse legends about him, figuring some of the newer members would like to know his history. A true biography of Oscar the Rat. Charlie
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Oscar the rat walked over his book, careful to leave no smudges and, grasping the edge, turned the page. He then went back to his perch on a stack of other books and continued reading. It was a compilation of Shakespeare’s plays. One of his favorites.
Oscar’s great-grandmother had been a typical lab rat when she was young. One of a large litter born in the Biology Laboratory at the University of Hawaii. She was unexceptional until, one day when she was injected with a drug designed to increase her sex drive.
The drug not only accomplished that task but also increased her intelligence a great deal. With her new abilities she soon escaped her cage. That intelligence somehow became genetic and she was soon the mother of dozens of intelligent rats. Then the grandmother of many more. Eventually the great-grandmother of many, many, many intelligent rats.
Her progeny soon occupied a large colony in the basement of the Science Building. They were well read and mannered.
Oscar inherited all her better traits. He was unique in that he was also adventurous. Most of his contemporaries were content to stay at home and study.
Oscar became bored with the bard’s work. He had been reading all morning and craved some excitement. University life was soft, with little excitement. The young rat wanted to see the world himself, rather than just read about it.
"Hey, Oscar. You wanta play some ball?" He looked over and saw his friend, Ronnie.
"Na, don’t think so, Ron," was his reply, glad for the interruption. He didn’t think he would ever be bored by Shakespear, but it was so. Oscar had been very restless lately.
"Why don’t we go see Spike?" He asked his friend, "I want to ask him some questions, about outside." Spike the cat, was a good friend, and had many tales to tell of the world outside the Science Building. He had been all over the island of Oahu, in his younger days.
The two started searching for their friend. It being Sunday, they didn’t have to worry much about humans. The big oafs made a lot of noise and were easy to avoid.
They found Spike asleep at his usual spot; in the sunshine near the front window.
"Wha, who goes there?" Spike jumped up. He was a very light sleeper, taking his job seriously and accosting any intruders with his sharp claws and teeth. His only problems being arthritic joints and poor eyesight.
"It’s just me and Oscar," Ronnie assured him, "just killing time. How you doin’, Spike?"
"Oh, you can advance," Spike replied, straining his old eyes to see their blurs, "Ok, no burglars or nothing like that. I keep a good watch. Just resting my eyes is all."
The three made small talk, mostly Spike telling war stories about his youth. Finally Ronnie left, and Oscar could get down to business. He pumped Spike about what it was like "Outside."
"To begin with, young fellow, you have to avoid cats. Most of them want to eat you."
"You never did that, did you Spike?"
"Well, Uh, you see, I – I – no – no – no, Oscar. I never ate rats, but a lot of cats do, so keep away from them, you hear?"
"Okay, Spike. I’ll remember that."
"It’s best if you hide and sleep during the daylight, and eat and travel only at night," Spike cautioned him, "And be careful crossing streets. Those big machines on the roads are fast. If you see one, stay off the street. At night they have big lights so you can see them coming, in the daylight they’re too fast to see."
"I read a book that said we were on an island, and that If I caught a ship I could go to a bigger land. Is that true, Spike?"
"I’ve seen ships before but never been on one. Those things are huge and stay on the water. Cats don’t like water much."
"I’m gonna go tomorrow morning to seek my fortune in the big ‘Outside’. I hear there’s a place where rats rule, full of food and trash. I want to find it."
"I wish you would stay, Oscar, but I understand the urge to roam," Spike was lost in thoughts of his adventures when young. Oscar knew better than to disturb his friend. Spike spent more and more time with his memories lately.
The next morning, before sunup, Oscar wrote a note for his mother and started looking for Spike. His feline friend showed him to a secret exit.
"Goodbye and good luck, young rodent." Spike hugged Oscar and watched him leave his home, set on adventure.
It was still very dark as Oscar heard the little window slam shut behind him. He was scared and thought of going back. He could still return, to a lifetime of reading old books and wondering what the world was like outside.
Forcing himself, the young rat took his first step into the unknown. The other three feet followed, and he was soon stepping briskly across the campus.
Following his friend Spike’s advice, Oscar headed south toward Waikiki. He soon came to a street. Curiously, he waited for a car to go by, wondering how much time he would have to cross the street afterwards. He saw a light in the distance, a few seconds later, it lit up the roadway, so bright he had to shut his eyes.
The ground shook and the light seemed brighter through his closed eyelids. A roar got louder and louder. Suddenly the wind whipped through his fur, almost knocking him down. The light cut off and Oscar opened his eyes to see some small red lights fading in the distance. That Monster could kill me, he thought, shaking, I better study it more, A little basic calculus should help.
Oscar waited while a half dozen more autos went down the street, noting the time and distance down by scratching his calculations on the pavement with his claws. He had to guess at things like speed and distances. Finally, estimating the time from the first ground shaking to the time it arrived, he figured how long he had to cross the street. I’d better be right, my life depends on it, he thought.
Waiting, and screwing up his courage, Oscar ran as fast as he could across the street. His legs folded and he lay panting, waiting for his heart to settle down. One down, and many more to go, he thought.
He came upon half a hamburger sandwich lying in a front yard. Not being very hungry but, following Spike’s advise, Oscar paused to eat his fill. Pretty much like the ones at the University, he decided, Too much mustard though.
The wandering rat licked his whiskers and started walking. I better find a place to hide for the day, he decided, noticing the sky was getting lighter. He heard cats calling in the distance and hurried, keeping a watch out for danger and a place to sleep for the day.
"Hey buddy, you better get home. It’s going to rain," somebody called to him. Oscar looked over to his right and saw a big dog looking at him.
"I don’t have a home, sir," Oscar answered, "Can you recommend lodgings for the day?"
"Well, you sound like an educated little rat. If you want you can stay here today," the dog told him, "I could use someone to talk to." He paused a moment, "you would have to take a few burrs out of my coat though, I can’t do it myself."
Oscar was glad to take him up on the offer, since he himself didn’t know the first thing about finding shelter. He went over and the dog, who’s name turned out to be "Jackson," showed him a nice place under the front porch.
"No cats dare come into this yard, so you can feel safe little feller," Jackson told him, "I gotta go in the house for awhile, see you later."
"Thank you, sir." Oscar settled down to take a nap. During the day he would often wake to the sounds of cats hunting, sometimes by screams of pain from their prey. It was hard for him to equate the sounds to his friend Spike. Occasionally a cat would walk by on the sidewalk, but none ventured into the yard. It still scared Oscar to see the way they walked and the look in their eyes. He would shudder and hide behind the steps.
He had to spend the afternoon prying burrs out of Jackson’s fur. The dog had spent a lifetime walking the streets and kept up a nonstop monolog of his experiences, especially in regard to cats.
When the sun went down, Oscar set out again on his quest for adventure. Heading south again, he came upon a huge flowing river. That must be the Ala Wai Canal, he decided. Not knowing which way was the shortest, he just turned to his left and continued.
A few hours later, the rat found a bridge crossing the canal. Following the edge of the bridge he crossed carefully, after looking for cats. Then he headed southeast. He knew that sooner or later he was bound to find the ocean. After that he would just follow the shore and look for a ship to board.
Oscar was walking down a street, just south of Kuhio Street, when he heard a growl behind him. Shaking, he looked over a shoulder and saw two eyes shining at him. It was a cat. The scared rat started walking faster. If he listened hard, he could hear rustling behind him. Every once in a while there would be another growl, each one sounding closer. He knew from reading books that the cat was just playing with him.
Later it would try to kill him. I should have stayed home, he thought. Shivering, he starting to run. A loud "Meow" told him the cat was done playing and wanted to eat him then and there. Oscar felt a hot breath on his tail as he dodged under a stack of old boards.
"Meowoor." The cat bleated, hitting it’s head on the board and starting to dig. Oscar crouched under his rotten wooden shelter. His eyes blurred with tears, as he shook in fear. While in a panic, he heard other Meowing, it was in different voices, as other cats joined in the game.
"Hey, shut the hell up," a loud voice called and the cats got quiet. Loud footsteps sounded as Oscar cringed under his board. They got louder, and then rapidly receded as someone walked by, shaking the ground. Oscar could hear the cats retreating, "And stay away from here."
The sun had come up, and Oscar had to find someplace to hide. Under the board would have been good except that the cats could be back at any time. He peered carefully out one end. An old house was in front of him, with a wooden fence next to it. He could see a street in the other direction and, Oh my God, two cats.
As he stepped away from the board, Oscar heard a distant "Meow" and saw one of the cats racing in his direction. He ran for the house, his eyes searching for a place to hide. The scared rodent saw an inch or so of space under a door, and headed that way. The hell with it, he thought, as he squeezed inside. A few seconds later, he looked back, panting, and could see paws reaching under the door. The space was far too small for the cats to enter.
Well, looks like I’m staying here today, Oscar thought as he looked around, spying a piece of old pizza crust lying under a table. Oscar ran under an empty easy chair and continued to eye the room. It was a studio apartment, dirty, with old furniture. He could see a porcelain bathtub through an open doorway.
He couldn’t see or hear anyone, so he checked the bathroom. It was empty too with a closet across one wall. Should be all right, he thought, not noticing any smell of dogs or cats inside. Oscar then went back to the other room and dragged the pizza crust under the bathtub with him.
While he was eating breakfast he heard the door open. He could see a human come in with a bag of groceries, and a handful of books. Can’t be all bad, if he reads books. Maybe I can borrow one? Oscar thought, munching on the delicious crust. He was so hungry he ate everything. Oscar then swept all the crumbs up into a little pile, and ate them. His mother had taught him never to leave a mess.
Hearing the television come on, the rat found a pair of dirty socks and pulled them under the tub, fashioned a makeshift nest, and went to sleep. It had been a hectic day for him.
When he woke, the television was still on and he could see the human reading a book and sitting on the easy chair. Oscar could see almost the entire room from under the tub. He was thirsty and looked around for water. The only place he knew was in the toilet next to the tub.
He drank out of one at the University once. A guy had to be careful though. He remembered when his brother Harry had fallen in, and almost drowned. Some of the others had finally thrown something in for Harry to climb out on.
Oscar managed to jump onto the seat, which was down. The water looked so inviting; he listened carefully and the human was still quiet. Oscar braced his back feet and reached down. He was taking a long satisfying swallow, when he could feel one of his back feet slipping. Jerking back, he almost made it, before tumbling down into the water with a splash.
The rodent surfaced, sputtering and clawing at the hard surface. He had never been more scared in his life, as he continued to claw at the smooth, glassy surface. To make matters more serious, he could feel the floor shaking, and hear the chair squeak as the human got up.
An almost petrified Oscar clawed furiously at the porcelain bowl. Panting loudly, his bugged out eyes looked up and saw the human looking down at him. Worn out, he let go, in resignation, and started to say his prayers. He knew, just knew, that any moment the human would stick him with a knife or shoot him with a gun. He had read all the stories. Oscar just lay in the water. Playing dead, he closed his eyes and waited to die for real.
He noticed something hard pushing at his fur, and could picture the knife skewering his precious hide. Oscar was surprised when he was picked up and lifted from the water. He opened his eyes as he felt himself moving through the air. The human was carrying him high up in the air, and moving toward the outside door. Oscar didn’t struggle, not wanting to be dropped from that height. He was taken outside and placed gently on the ground. He saw the human retreating back to the open door, and going back inside.
Oscar scurried back under the wood pile, feeling cold from his wet fur. He could see the door close behind the human. The rat couldn’t believe his luck.
Oscar spent a couple of days under the wood pile. He wanted to study the cats, and learn when it would be safe to leave. He found that there were about a half dozen of the animals. Whenever he thought he had their motions figured out, he would see another one. Two of them patrolled the area all night long. The fence alongside the house was new and rat tight.
Oscar got hungrier and hungrier while trying to find a way out. There weren’t any mud puddles for him to drink out of and no rain. He could see a water dish in front of one of the apartments, the one with three cats living in it. Trying to get a drink there was out of the question.
Maybe I can sneak back in while the human’s gone? Oscar thought, I have to find something to eat and drink. I’m too weak to run past all those cats.
He waited patiently until the human left. It was evening when Oscar saw the doorway light up as the apartment door opened wide. A few minutes later Oscar ran over to the door and squeezed inside. Everything was the same as the last time except it was dark inside. He could see pretty well as he tiptoed across the room, his nose trying to sniff out water and food.
Oscar could smell food on the table. He jumped up on the easy chair and scampered up it’s back. There was a plate with something on it sitting on a table next to the chair, also a cup of coffee. Oscar stepped back as far as he could and, running forward, leaped onto the table. He slid a foot or so across the top before stopping.
Having often eaten in the University Cafeteria, he knew better than to eat any of the half a hotdog on a plate. Someone might notice later, so he just dragged a small piece of cold french fry onto the table and made sure to eat the whole thing, followed by a green bean, and a piece of lettuce. Oscar always tried to eat his greens. He then drank his fill of the cold coffee. Before leaving, he made sure he hadn’t made any mess. His mother would be mad if he had.
Oscar then jumped back to the chair and scampered down it to the floor. He went back to his hideout under the bathtub. The dirty socks were still there. Not only that, but he saw two small bowls next to the toilet. One held food and the other water. He didn’t know what to think of that. I’ll think about it tomorrow, he thought, right now I have to get some sleep. For the first time in days the little rat felt safe and, snuggling his nose into the smelly socks, fell asleep.
Oscar liked it there. The human treated him good, and kept him fed. Even gave him a lot of pizza. Noticing that Oscar liked pepperoni, he bought a lot of pepperoni pizza, sometimes even pepperoni by itself.
The contented rat found a good place to sleep under a table in the living room. He could watch the human and the television from there. He even had enough light to read. A fan kept him cool in the hot weather. He could go out when he wanted and kept his own hours. After a month or so, the cats got used to having him around and didn’t bother him as much. He still didn’t trust them though. They weren’t as old as Spike and played too hard for Oscar.
Once Oscar got friendly with a cat named Squeaky, they stopped trying to eat him. One day a man came with a net and a cage, and took most of them away. They missed Squeaky since he was inside at the time. Now lonely, without any other cats around, Squeaky and Oscar would sit and talk for hours. Some other rats had been stealing the cat’s food and that was why they wanted to get him earlier.
Oscar explored that part of town and learned how to get to the Port, where he could maybe sneak onto a ship. He wasn’t in any hurry, enjoying the easy lifestyle.
The human, Charlie, let Oscar read his books. Most of them were about computers and didn’t interest Oscar much. Charlie worked nights with a very big computer downtown.
One afternoon, while Oscar was reading a book under the bathtub, Charlie came home. Oscar could hear him in the living room. The human pulled the bathroom door almost closed, an uncommon occurrence which surprised the rat. He could hear two people in the other room, and smell a fresh pizza.
"Come on, honey," he could hear Charlie say, "let’s have something to eat."
"I would rather eat something else, Charlie," a woman’s voice answered.
"Later, the pizza’s getting cold."
Oscar, curious and hungry, went over to the partially closed door, and stuck his head out to see what was going on.
He saw a black girl sitting on the bed with her shoes off and a piece of pepperoni pizza in her hand. About the same time, the girl saw Oscar looking at her.
"Eeeeeeeeuhhh, what’s that?" She screamed, jumping up, "A Rraaattt. You got a rat in here." She ran to the door, with Charlie trying to grab her.
"It’s just Oscar, sweety," Charlie grabbed at her arm, but she just kept going out the door.
On his part, the frightened Oscar, ran back under the bathtub and hid, shaking, under his book.
Charlie didn’t know what to do. He just stood in the doorway watching his girlfriend run away. Then he had to deal with an equally frightened Oscar.
"I told her about you, I guess she didn’t believe me," he tried to placate Oscar, who was still frightened. Oscar hid under the tub all night, coming out the next morning to eat some cold pizza.
Oscar eventually got bored and figured it was time to resume his journey. Late one night he took a bath, cleaned up his nest, and set out to find a ship. Somewhere in the big wide world there must be a place for him. A place where rats could be themselves, away from cats and humans.
***
Waiting until a fat woman entered the front door of the Ezboard building, Oscar the rat followed in her wake, taking advantage of the open door. The enormous lobby extended into the distance. Oscar eased behind a potted palm to check things out.
His little heart beating from anxiety, the rat peered around the fixture. He was looking for the "Write Here Write Now" Suite. His friend Charlie had invited him to visit at Charlie’s new apartment there. But Oscar had lost the number.
Since he couldn’t talk, Oscar would have a hard time finding the WHWN Suite. He thought it was on the second floor, two hundred and something. Oscar could read but he had no way of carrying the note with him. Rats don’t have pockets.
Looking both ways, Oscar ventured out along the wall, trying to keep away from the security guard’s path. The cautious rat ran from potted palm to ashtray to "Wet Floor" sign. He could see the elevators about thirty feet away.
The rat saw a sign listing room numbers next to the elevator. He looked around, nobody was looking toward the elevator so he took a chance and scurried away from the wall to read the listing.
He couldn’t find a listing for "Write Here Write Now." Oscar was stuck, not knowing what to do. Confused, he forgot to return to shelter.
"Shreeeeek!" He heard, "a RRRAATT! Over by the elevator. Please save me."
Oscar ran for the nearest shelter, a standing ashtray. He could hear people running around him. A scared rat, he tried to jump up, to hide inside the ashtray, but it was too tall. About that time a door opened beside the panicked little rodent. Oscar ran inside the opening door, which closed behind him.
It was the fire stairs. The door shook as a human tried to open it from the lobby. Luckily it only opened from the inside. Oscar stood for a moment, then ran up the steps to the second floor.
At the second floor landing he was lucky, someone had propped the door open a few inches. He looked out carefully and tiptoed into the hallway.
Oscar saw a couple of humans coming down the hallway. Before they could see him, Oscar dodged under a door, and found himself in a broom closet.
He thought it would be a good place to wait until night time, and then try to find Charlie. He just hoped there weren’t any cats in the building.
"Get off my tail, *******," he heard behind him. It was a female rat, who said her name was Lois. She showed him a back way to Charlie’s room. The room was in a mess, with dirty clothes and old snacks lying around. He and Lois cleaned up the mess. Oscar had been taught to never make a mess and to, when possible, leave a room neater than when he entered.
It turned out that Oscar wouldn’t have found Charlie alone. The name had been changed to "For Writers by Writers."
Finally Charlie came home and found them. He was happy to see Oscar, and was introduced to Lois. Charlie told him that he had arrived just in time. It was the first anniversary of the founding of the site, and a happy occasion.
Both him Lois were invited to the One Year Anniversary Party. Oscar found he was somewhat of a celebrity, since Charlie had written several stories about him. They even had Oscar’s favorite Pizza.
That was years ago. Now Oscar has started writing his own stories and become a full fledged member of a half dozen writing sites. He also met Malodor skunk, who now lives with him, along with her niece Nancy Skunk.
As a full fledged Ezboard member he rates his own room. Oscar has a long family history with a lot of adventurous ancestors. He has even been given access to the Rat Archives, a history of ratkind since before humans crawled down from the trees. He has a lot of stories to tell.
Charlie
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Oscar the rat walked over his book, careful to leave no smudges and, grasping the edge, turned the page. He then went back to his perch on a stack of other books and continued reading. It was a compilation of Shakespeare’s plays. One of his favorites.
Oscar’s great-grandmother had been a typical lab rat when she was young. One of a large litter born in the Biology Laboratory at the University of Hawaii. She was unexceptional until, one day when she was injected with a drug designed to increase her sex drive.
The drug not only accomplished that task but also increased her intelligence a great deal. With her new abilities she soon escaped her cage. That intelligence somehow became genetic and she was soon the mother of dozens of intelligent rats. Then the grandmother of many more. Eventually the great-grandmother of many, many, many intelligent rats.
Her progeny soon occupied a large colony in the basement of the Science Building. They were well read and mannered.
Oscar inherited all her better traits. He was unique in that he was also adventurous. Most of his contemporaries were content to stay at home and study.
Oscar became bored with the bard’s work. He had been reading all morning and craved some excitement. University life was soft, with little excitement. The young rat wanted to see the world himself, rather than just read about it.
"Hey, Oscar. You wanta play some ball?" He looked over and saw his friend, Ronnie.
"Na, don’t think so, Ron," was his reply, glad for the interruption. He didn’t think he would ever be bored by Shakespear, but it was so. Oscar had been very restless lately.
"Why don’t we go see Spike?" He asked his friend, "I want to ask him some questions, about outside." Spike the cat, was a good friend, and had many tales to tell of the world outside the Science Building. He had been all over the island of Oahu, in his younger days.
The two started searching for their friend. It being Sunday, they didn’t have to worry much about humans. The big oafs made a lot of noise and were easy to avoid.
They found Spike asleep at his usual spot; in the sunshine near the front window.
"Wha, who goes there?" Spike jumped up. He was a very light sleeper, taking his job seriously and accosting any intruders with his sharp claws and teeth. His only problems being arthritic joints and poor eyesight.
"It’s just me and Oscar," Ronnie assured him, "just killing time. How you doin’, Spike?"
"Oh, you can advance," Spike replied, straining his old eyes to see their blurs, "Ok, no burglars or nothing like that. I keep a good watch. Just resting my eyes is all."
The three made small talk, mostly Spike telling war stories about his youth. Finally Ronnie left, and Oscar could get down to business. He pumped Spike about what it was like "Outside."
"To begin with, young fellow, you have to avoid cats. Most of them want to eat you."
"You never did that, did you Spike?"
"Well, Uh, you see, I – I – no – no – no, Oscar. I never ate rats, but a lot of cats do, so keep away from them, you hear?"
"Okay, Spike. I’ll remember that."
"It’s best if you hide and sleep during the daylight, and eat and travel only at night," Spike cautioned him, "And be careful crossing streets. Those big machines on the roads are fast. If you see one, stay off the street. At night they have big lights so you can see them coming, in the daylight they’re too fast to see."
"I read a book that said we were on an island, and that If I caught a ship I could go to a bigger land. Is that true, Spike?"
"I’ve seen ships before but never been on one. Those things are huge and stay on the water. Cats don’t like water much."
"I’m gonna go tomorrow morning to seek my fortune in the big ‘Outside’. I hear there’s a place where rats rule, full of food and trash. I want to find it."
"I wish you would stay, Oscar, but I understand the urge to roam," Spike was lost in thoughts of his adventures when young. Oscar knew better than to disturb his friend. Spike spent more and more time with his memories lately.
The next morning, before sunup, Oscar wrote a note for his mother and started looking for Spike. His feline friend showed him to a secret exit.
"Goodbye and good luck, young rodent." Spike hugged Oscar and watched him leave his home, set on adventure.
It was still very dark as Oscar heard the little window slam shut behind him. He was scared and thought of going back. He could still return, to a lifetime of reading old books and wondering what the world was like outside.
Forcing himself, the young rat took his first step into the unknown. The other three feet followed, and he was soon stepping briskly across the campus.
Following his friend Spike’s advice, Oscar headed south toward Waikiki. He soon came to a street. Curiously, he waited for a car to go by, wondering how much time he would have to cross the street afterwards. He saw a light in the distance, a few seconds later, it lit up the roadway, so bright he had to shut his eyes.
The ground shook and the light seemed brighter through his closed eyelids. A roar got louder and louder. Suddenly the wind whipped through his fur, almost knocking him down. The light cut off and Oscar opened his eyes to see some small red lights fading in the distance. That Monster could kill me, he thought, shaking, I better study it more, A little basic calculus should help.
Oscar waited while a half dozen more autos went down the street, noting the time and distance down by scratching his calculations on the pavement with his claws. He had to guess at things like speed and distances. Finally, estimating the time from the first ground shaking to the time it arrived, he figured how long he had to cross the street. I’d better be right, my life depends on it, he thought.
Waiting, and screwing up his courage, Oscar ran as fast as he could across the street. His legs folded and he lay panting, waiting for his heart to settle down. One down, and many more to go, he thought.
He came upon half a hamburger sandwich lying in a front yard. Not being very hungry but, following Spike’s advise, Oscar paused to eat his fill. Pretty much like the ones at the University, he decided, Too much mustard though.
The wandering rat licked his whiskers and started walking. I better find a place to hide for the day, he decided, noticing the sky was getting lighter. He heard cats calling in the distance and hurried, keeping a watch out for danger and a place to sleep for the day.
"Hey buddy, you better get home. It’s going to rain," somebody called to him. Oscar looked over to his right and saw a big dog looking at him.
"I don’t have a home, sir," Oscar answered, "Can you recommend lodgings for the day?"
"Well, you sound like an educated little rat. If you want you can stay here today," the dog told him, "I could use someone to talk to." He paused a moment, "you would have to take a few burrs out of my coat though, I can’t do it myself."
Oscar was glad to take him up on the offer, since he himself didn’t know the first thing about finding shelter. He went over and the dog, who’s name turned out to be "Jackson," showed him a nice place under the front porch.
"No cats dare come into this yard, so you can feel safe little feller," Jackson told him, "I gotta go in the house for awhile, see you later."
"Thank you, sir." Oscar settled down to take a nap. During the day he would often wake to the sounds of cats hunting, sometimes by screams of pain from their prey. It was hard for him to equate the sounds to his friend Spike. Occasionally a cat would walk by on the sidewalk, but none ventured into the yard. It still scared Oscar to see the way they walked and the look in their eyes. He would shudder and hide behind the steps.
He had to spend the afternoon prying burrs out of Jackson’s fur. The dog had spent a lifetime walking the streets and kept up a nonstop monolog of his experiences, especially in regard to cats.
When the sun went down, Oscar set out again on his quest for adventure. Heading south again, he came upon a huge flowing river. That must be the Ala Wai Canal, he decided. Not knowing which way was the shortest, he just turned to his left and continued.
A few hours later, the rat found a bridge crossing the canal. Following the edge of the bridge he crossed carefully, after looking for cats. Then he headed southeast. He knew that sooner or later he was bound to find the ocean. After that he would just follow the shore and look for a ship to board.
Oscar was walking down a street, just south of Kuhio Street, when he heard a growl behind him. Shaking, he looked over a shoulder and saw two eyes shining at him. It was a cat. The scared rat started walking faster. If he listened hard, he could hear rustling behind him. Every once in a while there would be another growl, each one sounding closer. He knew from reading books that the cat was just playing with him.
Later it would try to kill him. I should have stayed home, he thought. Shivering, he starting to run. A loud "Meow" told him the cat was done playing and wanted to eat him then and there. Oscar felt a hot breath on his tail as he dodged under a stack of old boards.
"Meowoor." The cat bleated, hitting it’s head on the board and starting to dig. Oscar crouched under his rotten wooden shelter. His eyes blurred with tears, as he shook in fear. While in a panic, he heard other Meowing, it was in different voices, as other cats joined in the game.
"Hey, shut the hell up," a loud voice called and the cats got quiet. Loud footsteps sounded as Oscar cringed under his board. They got louder, and then rapidly receded as someone walked by, shaking the ground. Oscar could hear the cats retreating, "And stay away from here."
The sun had come up, and Oscar had to find someplace to hide. Under the board would have been good except that the cats could be back at any time. He peered carefully out one end. An old house was in front of him, with a wooden fence next to it. He could see a street in the other direction and, Oh my God, two cats.
As he stepped away from the board, Oscar heard a distant "Meow" and saw one of the cats racing in his direction. He ran for the house, his eyes searching for a place to hide. The scared rodent saw an inch or so of space under a door, and headed that way. The hell with it, he thought, as he squeezed inside. A few seconds later, he looked back, panting, and could see paws reaching under the door. The space was far too small for the cats to enter.
Well, looks like I’m staying here today, Oscar thought as he looked around, spying a piece of old pizza crust lying under a table. Oscar ran under an empty easy chair and continued to eye the room. It was a studio apartment, dirty, with old furniture. He could see a porcelain bathtub through an open doorway.
He couldn’t see or hear anyone, so he checked the bathroom. It was empty too with a closet across one wall. Should be all right, he thought, not noticing any smell of dogs or cats inside. Oscar then went back to the other room and dragged the pizza crust under the bathtub with him.
While he was eating breakfast he heard the door open. He could see a human come in with a bag of groceries, and a handful of books. Can’t be all bad, if he reads books. Maybe I can borrow one? Oscar thought, munching on the delicious crust. He was so hungry he ate everything. Oscar then swept all the crumbs up into a little pile, and ate them. His mother had taught him never to leave a mess.
Hearing the television come on, the rat found a pair of dirty socks and pulled them under the tub, fashioned a makeshift nest, and went to sleep. It had been a hectic day for him.
When he woke, the television was still on and he could see the human reading a book and sitting on the easy chair. Oscar could see almost the entire room from under the tub. He was thirsty and looked around for water. The only place he knew was in the toilet next to the tub.
He drank out of one at the University once. A guy had to be careful though. He remembered when his brother Harry had fallen in, and almost drowned. Some of the others had finally thrown something in for Harry to climb out on.
Oscar managed to jump onto the seat, which was down. The water looked so inviting; he listened carefully and the human was still quiet. Oscar braced his back feet and reached down. He was taking a long satisfying swallow, when he could feel one of his back feet slipping. Jerking back, he almost made it, before tumbling down into the water with a splash.
The rodent surfaced, sputtering and clawing at the hard surface. He had never been more scared in his life, as he continued to claw at the smooth, glassy surface. To make matters more serious, he could feel the floor shaking, and hear the chair squeak as the human got up.
An almost petrified Oscar clawed furiously at the porcelain bowl. Panting loudly, his bugged out eyes looked up and saw the human looking down at him. Worn out, he let go, in resignation, and started to say his prayers. He knew, just knew, that any moment the human would stick him with a knife or shoot him with a gun. He had read all the stories. Oscar just lay in the water. Playing dead, he closed his eyes and waited to die for real.
He noticed something hard pushing at his fur, and could picture the knife skewering his precious hide. Oscar was surprised when he was picked up and lifted from the water. He opened his eyes as he felt himself moving through the air. The human was carrying him high up in the air, and moving toward the outside door. Oscar didn’t struggle, not wanting to be dropped from that height. He was taken outside and placed gently on the ground. He saw the human retreating back to the open door, and going back inside.
Oscar scurried back under the wood pile, feeling cold from his wet fur. He could see the door close behind the human. The rat couldn’t believe his luck.
Oscar spent a couple of days under the wood pile. He wanted to study the cats, and learn when it would be safe to leave. He found that there were about a half dozen of the animals. Whenever he thought he had their motions figured out, he would see another one. Two of them patrolled the area all night long. The fence alongside the house was new and rat tight.
Oscar got hungrier and hungrier while trying to find a way out. There weren’t any mud puddles for him to drink out of and no rain. He could see a water dish in front of one of the apartments, the one with three cats living in it. Trying to get a drink there was out of the question.
Maybe I can sneak back in while the human’s gone? Oscar thought, I have to find something to eat and drink. I’m too weak to run past all those cats.
He waited patiently until the human left. It was evening when Oscar saw the doorway light up as the apartment door opened wide. A few minutes later Oscar ran over to the door and squeezed inside. Everything was the same as the last time except it was dark inside. He could see pretty well as he tiptoed across the room, his nose trying to sniff out water and food.
Oscar could smell food on the table. He jumped up on the easy chair and scampered up it’s back. There was a plate with something on it sitting on a table next to the chair, also a cup of coffee. Oscar stepped back as far as he could and, running forward, leaped onto the table. He slid a foot or so across the top before stopping.
Having often eaten in the University Cafeteria, he knew better than to eat any of the half a hotdog on a plate. Someone might notice later, so he just dragged a small piece of cold french fry onto the table and made sure to eat the whole thing, followed by a green bean, and a piece of lettuce. Oscar always tried to eat his greens. He then drank his fill of the cold coffee. Before leaving, he made sure he hadn’t made any mess. His mother would be mad if he had.
Oscar then jumped back to the chair and scampered down it to the floor. He went back to his hideout under the bathtub. The dirty socks were still there. Not only that, but he saw two small bowls next to the toilet. One held food and the other water. He didn’t know what to think of that. I’ll think about it tomorrow, he thought, right now I have to get some sleep. For the first time in days the little rat felt safe and, snuggling his nose into the smelly socks, fell asleep.
Oscar liked it there. The human treated him good, and kept him fed. Even gave him a lot of pizza. Noticing that Oscar liked pepperoni, he bought a lot of pepperoni pizza, sometimes even pepperoni by itself.
The contented rat found a good place to sleep under a table in the living room. He could watch the human and the television from there. He even had enough light to read. A fan kept him cool in the hot weather. He could go out when he wanted and kept his own hours. After a month or so, the cats got used to having him around and didn’t bother him as much. He still didn’t trust them though. They weren’t as old as Spike and played too hard for Oscar.
Once Oscar got friendly with a cat named Squeaky, they stopped trying to eat him. One day a man came with a net and a cage, and took most of them away. They missed Squeaky since he was inside at the time. Now lonely, without any other cats around, Squeaky and Oscar would sit and talk for hours. Some other rats had been stealing the cat’s food and that was why they wanted to get him earlier.
Oscar explored that part of town and learned how to get to the Port, where he could maybe sneak onto a ship. He wasn’t in any hurry, enjoying the easy lifestyle.
The human, Charlie, let Oscar read his books. Most of them were about computers and didn’t interest Oscar much. Charlie worked nights with a very big computer downtown.
One afternoon, while Oscar was reading a book under the bathtub, Charlie came home. Oscar could hear him in the living room. The human pulled the bathroom door almost closed, an uncommon occurrence which surprised the rat. He could hear two people in the other room, and smell a fresh pizza.
"Come on, honey," he could hear Charlie say, "let’s have something to eat."
"I would rather eat something else, Charlie," a woman’s voice answered.
"Later, the pizza’s getting cold."
Oscar, curious and hungry, went over to the partially closed door, and stuck his head out to see what was going on.
He saw a black girl sitting on the bed with her shoes off and a piece of pepperoni pizza in her hand. About the same time, the girl saw Oscar looking at her.
"Eeeeeeeeuhhh, what’s that?" She screamed, jumping up, "A Rraaattt. You got a rat in here." She ran to the door, with Charlie trying to grab her.
"It’s just Oscar, sweety," Charlie grabbed at her arm, but she just kept going out the door.
On his part, the frightened Oscar, ran back under the bathtub and hid, shaking, under his book.
Charlie didn’t know what to do. He just stood in the doorway watching his girlfriend run away. Then he had to deal with an equally frightened Oscar.
"I told her about you, I guess she didn’t believe me," he tried to placate Oscar, who was still frightened. Oscar hid under the tub all night, coming out the next morning to eat some cold pizza.
Oscar eventually got bored and figured it was time to resume his journey. Late one night he took a bath, cleaned up his nest, and set out to find a ship. Somewhere in the big wide world there must be a place for him. A place where rats could be themselves, away from cats and humans.
***
Waiting until a fat woman entered the front door of the Ezboard building, Oscar the rat followed in her wake, taking advantage of the open door. The enormous lobby extended into the distance. Oscar eased behind a potted palm to check things out.
His little heart beating from anxiety, the rat peered around the fixture. He was looking for the "Write Here Write Now" Suite. His friend Charlie had invited him to visit at Charlie’s new apartment there. But Oscar had lost the number.
Since he couldn’t talk, Oscar would have a hard time finding the WHWN Suite. He thought it was on the second floor, two hundred and something. Oscar could read but he had no way of carrying the note with him. Rats don’t have pockets.
Looking both ways, Oscar ventured out along the wall, trying to keep away from the security guard’s path. The cautious rat ran from potted palm to ashtray to "Wet Floor" sign. He could see the elevators about thirty feet away.
The rat saw a sign listing room numbers next to the elevator. He looked around, nobody was looking toward the elevator so he took a chance and scurried away from the wall to read the listing.
He couldn’t find a listing for "Write Here Write Now." Oscar was stuck, not knowing what to do. Confused, he forgot to return to shelter.
"Shreeeeek!" He heard, "a RRRAATT! Over by the elevator. Please save me."
Oscar ran for the nearest shelter, a standing ashtray. He could hear people running around him. A scared rat, he tried to jump up, to hide inside the ashtray, but it was too tall. About that time a door opened beside the panicked little rodent. Oscar ran inside the opening door, which closed behind him.
It was the fire stairs. The door shook as a human tried to open it from the lobby. Luckily it only opened from the inside. Oscar stood for a moment, then ran up the steps to the second floor.
At the second floor landing he was lucky, someone had propped the door open a few inches. He looked out carefully and tiptoed into the hallway.
Oscar saw a couple of humans coming down the hallway. Before they could see him, Oscar dodged under a door, and found himself in a broom closet.
He thought it would be a good place to wait until night time, and then try to find Charlie. He just hoped there weren’t any cats in the building.
"Get off my tail, *******," he heard behind him. It was a female rat, who said her name was Lois. She showed him a back way to Charlie’s room. The room was in a mess, with dirty clothes and old snacks lying around. He and Lois cleaned up the mess. Oscar had been taught to never make a mess and to, when possible, leave a room neater than when he entered.
It turned out that Oscar wouldn’t have found Charlie alone. The name had been changed to "For Writers by Writers."
Finally Charlie came home and found them. He was happy to see Oscar, and was introduced to Lois. Charlie told him that he had arrived just in time. It was the first anniversary of the founding of the site, and a happy occasion.
Both him Lois were invited to the One Year Anniversary Party. Oscar found he was somewhat of a celebrity, since Charlie had written several stories about him. They even had Oscar’s favorite Pizza.
That was years ago. Now Oscar has started writing his own stories and become a full fledged member of a half dozen writing sites. He also met Malodor skunk, who now lives with him, along with her niece Nancy Skunk.
As a full fledged Ezboard member he rates his own room. Oscar has a long family history with a lot of adventurous ancestors. He has even been given access to the Rat Archives, a history of ratkind since before humans crawled down from the trees. He has a lot of stories to tell.
Charlie
