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Beta reader needed for Warhammer 40,000 short story (8,000 words)

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Zoombie

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The gates of the black library open once more, and I plan to submit to them. And so, I have written a short story for their perusal. But I need someone to check it over for sense-making, character-liking, action-packatude, and general goodness.

The short story is titled A Sudden Plunge through a Sullen Swell, and is about the crew of a Imperial interceptor called the Last Remorse. A collection of outcasts and losers, they're one infraction away from summery execution. When the actual dogfight begins, execution becomes the last thing on their minds: The Chaos forces they battle shoot them down, causing them to crash on the enemy ship.

Barely surviving their crash landing , our plucky heroes realize that even if they get the Remorse to fly again, they'll just get shot by their ship's commisar. And so their only option is to do something so heroic that it'll absolve them of their negligence...such as, say, destroying the enemy ship from the inside out.

There's only 65,000 cultists in their way. Piece of cake!

If you're interested, PM me. Knowledge of Warhammer 40,000 isn't necessary, but would be nice.
 
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