A Question of Language?

My sympathies.

It's a tough one.

All you can do is immerse yourself in your research and create within your head the Roman world you wish to write about. It takes time.

When you are comfortable with the appearance, smell, touch and tastes of your Roman world then you can write.

You can check that the words you use are words which have been used for many centuries rather than the last two centuries by using http://www.etymonline.com/ as you work.

BUT

it boils down to you hearing your characters in your head and working out their speech patterns.

And your success is always viewed differently by readers. One editor loved my 17thC historical novel set in England, but thought my dialogue needed modernising!

Another loved my 'authentic dialogue'!

I aim to write to please me with the proviso that, in the end, the publisher's editor has to be obeyed!

Use your voice. The way you tell things

Because however you write it you will piss someone off.


Okay, try not to use anachronisms, granted, But bollocked, well they'd have probably had a word for that and yet..we'd probably not understand it. It's a balancing act between words/phrases that might have been used and the fact that, tbh, if you or I found ourselves there we'd not know what anyone was saying, It's (as often in fantasy with second world stuff) you are translating the feel of it. Not the language word for wrod. Verisimilitude. Imagine you are translating for a modern audience (I assume your book isn't in latin? lol)

As long as it sounds right for the period, you should be okay.

If you have someone say gadzooks though, I may have to kill you.

I'm not really sure what your question is - whether you're talking about as a reader or as a writer.

If you're talking about as a reader, it's pretty obvious that readers will gravitate toward writers whose styles appeal to them more.

If you're talking as a writer - we've had many discussions here about appropriateness in many periods. The writing doesn't dare come across as so stilted it's stiff and unrealistic (contractions are a good indicator for this); it shouldn't include modern slang or other (including inappropriate foreign) expressions (and some of the ones that have been caught in historical SYW have been a bit of a surprise); it shouldn't be so flowery it takes twice as long to say whatever needs to be said; it should have a sprinkling of words and terms appropriate to the period and setting, but avoid overkill; but above all else, it needs to be accurate including to minute detail if the detail is mentioned.

Now what was the question? Puma

You could be right

Go with your gut on this one, I think, at least for the first draft. What feels right for the time? Then get someone familiar with the period to beta for you.