Funny/cruel/strange comments from workshop members

Truth and Fiction · Apr 21, 2011

I'd love to hear some of the strangest, funniest, most inappropriate, and/or cruelest comments you've ever received on your writing during a writing workshop. (Assuming you can laugh about it now, of course.)

I recently compiled my own list of most memorable comments that includes things like:

"Too many words!"
"Ehhhh."
"Wonderfully strange."
"Is this supposed to be funny?"
"YEAH BABY!!!"
"Doesn't sound violent enough."
"This reads exactly like a New Yorker story -- meaning it has no ending."

And, of course: "This is too unpolished for me to waste my time commenting on."

I have some more in a blog post, but I want to hear yours. (I'm only kicking myself for not saving more of those old workshop submissions!)

Also, here are two funny McSweeney's lists about workshop comments : http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2009/6/5rey.html and http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/21RobertHinderliter.html

Libbie · Apr 21, 2011

From my weekly writers' group, after I brought a poem about a boat:

"It sounds like you're describing a retarded lady standing at the docks."

"Huh??"

"Yeah, like the way you described her rocking and being tied up and stuff. Like, is she some mentally deficient woman who needs to be tied up for her own protection?"

Shocked silence. Then, "It's customary to refer to boats as she."

Maryn · Apr 21, 2011

Libbie, that's hilariously awful.

Threads like this always make me realize how lucky I've been with my critique group. The worst I've ever heard, from a dear friend about my work, is, "This is almost pornographic." Yeah, like she'd know. She ought to see the other stuff.

Maryn, long-time critique group member

sunandshadow · Apr 21, 2011

The weirdest one I ever got was a sneering "Your main character is a hedonist!" Asking for an explanation revealed that the reader thought hedonism was a great evil and evil characters were ethically unsuitable to be main characters of fiction. Why was the character a hedonist? He tried to charm a virgin 6 years younger than him into his bed. OMG so evil! :crazy:

Truth and Fiction · Apr 21, 2011

Libbie, that is fantastic! But I bet she was pretty embarrassed in the end?

I wasn't trying to complain about the writing groups I attended over the years, but there definitely have been some groups that have been better fits than others. I feel like I've experienced it all....and unfortunately, that includes passive aggressive members, jealous members trying to tear down other members, members who refuse to read other genres without putting them down for their genre alone, etc. It's been interesting to say the least! (But also worth it for the writing group members I met who "get" my writing and who are fantastic writers themselves.)

zegota · Apr 21, 2011

On my use of the word "standoffish": "I think you're trying to be clever here, but you should try to find a real word that fits with what you're trying to say."

Libbie · Apr 21, 2011

Truth and Fiction said:
Libbie, that is fantastic! But I bet she was pretty embarrassed in the end?

No, he stuck to his guns and insisted that the poem sounded like it was about a special-needs lady. We all still bring it up occasionally just for laughs. My group is pretty awesome, but we do occasionally have an odd week.

Libbie · Apr 21, 2011

zegota said:
On my use of the word "standoffish": "I think you're trying to be clever here, but you should try to find a real word that fits with what you're trying to say."

Ha!! Really? Who hasn't heard that word before?

juniper · Apr 21, 2011

Truth and Fiction said:
"Too many words!"
"Ehhhh."
"Wonderfully strange."
"Is this supposed to be funny?"
"YEAH BABY!!!"
"Doesn't sound violent enough."
"This reads exactly like a New Yorker story -- meaning it has no ending."

Oh dear. I might be a bad workshop member. I attend a weekly critique group with members of varied experience/talent writing in different genres.

I don't think these comments are cruel. I might have written similar notes on things. I actually think "wonderfully strange" sounds like a compliment.

I'd much rather read critical notes than the vapid "great!" "want to read more!" ones that don't say anything about what was liked or disliked and why.

SinK · Apr 21, 2011

Truth and Fiction said:
"Too many words!"

Reminded me of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoY0Qa0zU0A

dangerousbill · Apr 21, 2011

"The sex scenes distract from the story."

[But...but it's supposed to be an erotic story!)

Linda Adams · Apr 21, 2011

"Get rid of all your dialogue. Narrative tells the story."

sheadakota · Apr 21, 2011

Re my MC;
'I'm sorry but I have a hard taking a doctor named Dakota seriously'

I didn't realize Doctors had to have certain names-lol

JoNightshade · Apr 21, 2011

"Maybe you should stick to writing characters your own age."

Which prompted me to write a story about a 70 year old man.

mirandashell · Apr 21, 2011

Libbie said:
From my weekly writers' group, after I brought a poem about a boat:

"It sounds like you're describing a retarded lady standing at the docks."

"Huh??"

"Yeah, like the way you described her rocking and being tied up and stuff. Like, is she some mentally deficient woman who needs to be tied up for her own protection?"

Shocked silence. Then, "It's customary to refer to boats as she."

I swear I have just laughed for a solid 5 mins at that. I think I need the toilet.....

Aaron Wilder · Apr 21, 2011

juniper said:
I actually think "wonderfully strange" sounds like a compliment.

Add a name beside the phrase and I'd be happy to have it on my cover.

BethMac · Apr 21, 2011

dangerousbill said:
"The sex scenes distract from the story."

[But...but it's supposed to be an erotic story!)

OMG, this is hilarious! Maybe they got distracted and had to put the book down to do other things...

Truth and Fiction · Apr 21, 2011

juniper said:
Oh dear. I might be a bad workshop member. I attend a weekly critique group with members of varied experience/talent writing in different genres.

I don't think these comments are cruel. I might have written similar notes on things. I actually think "wonderfully strange" sounds like a compliment.

I'd much rather read critical notes than the vapid "great!" "want to read more!" ones that don't say anything about what was liked or disliked and why.

Oops, I suppose I didn't express myself well enough. I actually wasn't implying that these comments were bad/cruel/useless. Some of them are quite constructive (and my blog entry contains some very complimentary ones, too). Having someone write "ehhh" next to a scene, for example, can be a wonderful eye-opener.

I simply think some of these comments can look funny when taken out of context.And if you're just reading all the notes without seeing my writing for yourself, it can create an amusing picture of what you imagine my writing might be like. But then I asked if anyone would like to some examples of their own -- whether funny, cruel, misguided, strange, etc.

Phew. For a writer, maybe I need to communicate better! Also, for the record, I love "wonderfully strange."

misslissy · Apr 21, 2011

Haha, this comment made me smile but it was strange
"Woah, Lissy, killing a baby in your story. I'm proud of you."

jaksen · Apr 21, 2011

I have never been a member of a writing group or workshop, though I did try to join one once. However, I was told the group was only for 'serious writers.' (This was over twenty years ago.)

So I was not allowed to join. No one in the group was ever published.

I was.

Darkwing · Apr 21, 2011

I had saved a cruel comment I got once, but I finally threw it away. It was along the lines of this:

"This read like a description of a video game. I kept expecting the main character to pause the game and say she had to feed her cat. Not like that's wrong--I have a friend out in California who makes loads of money writing bad novelizations of video games."

That wasn't exactly it, but it was the general gist/impression I got and it's what has stuck with me. I still give this guy stink eye if I see him in the hallway on campus. And this was a 400/600 level fiction writing class.

The worst thing is that it was a chapter that I expressed was an experimentation. The main characters are, in fact, horses on a magical island and they were fighting a dragon. And I'm writing it as a middle grade novel--an audience I've never written for before.
I could have said some choice things about his story, but I refrained from being spiteful. Mostly because I respect the professor and didn't want to cause an issue in her class.

Otherwise, all of the comments I've gotten have either been helpful, kindly misguided, or just praise. I have to admit I like the praise part.

And the comment that makes me glad I'll never take a beginning short story writing class ever again: "OMG it was so LONG." (Usually said of a 15 page story. With resentment. Because they had to read it for class.)

sunandshadow · Apr 21, 2011

Darkwing said:
The main characters are, in fact, horses on a magical island and they were fighting a dragon. And I'm writing it as a middle grade novel

Probably you've already read the Birth of the Firebringer books, but just in case you haven't, you should because they're a good example of mg/ya fiction with fantasy horse characters.

Quentin Nokov · Apr 21, 2011

Libby that's absolutely hilarious. I haven't really gotten any cruel comments except something a long the lines of no editor would read this; they wouldn't read two sentences in before throwing it out. I was like fourteen at the time and still sensitive about my writing, so it crushed me. Now, I'd be like, 'Hm, she's probably right'.

Rhoda Nightingale · Apr 22, 2011

I had a bizarre argument with someone in a workshop years ago, who was convinced that I had A) invented gargoyles, and B) that the word "gargoyle" should be capitalized, because it's such an unusual word.

Yeah, no, not really. They're all over the place in Europe. And it's not a proper noun.

Then I had to define "proper noun" for her.

VoireyLinger · Apr 22, 2011

This is why I don't listen to people who work outside my chosen genre.

One woman once told me my hero was unpublishable in romance. Who knows, maybe she's right... But I kept writing. Said hero now has a fan club even though the story isn't out yet. She seemed to be the only person who didn't like him.

Funny/cruel/strange comments from workshop members

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Worst song played on ugliest guitar

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practical experience, FTW

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Angel Wing Fetish