VO during FB - how to format

talking to myself · Apr 16, 2011

Hello everyone. It's Saturday. Yeah! Been writing since 6 a.m. Ooh, it's so dark outside I have to turn the light on. Bad storm comin'...

Here's a formatting question:

Jill is talking to Jack about her childhood. She briefly describes a specific event that occurred when she was a child. There's a FB of the past event.

What I'd like to do is make Jill's description of the event a VO that is heard while the FB is seen.

I've placed the VO just before the FB. But they occur at the same time, not one after the other.

How about adding "same" to the FB? (Problem is, the "same" only applies to the VO, the prior paragraph, not the entire prior scene.)

I guess I could add: "FB is seen while VO is heard." but I like to keep author intrusion to a minimum.

Thx

LIVIN · Apr 16, 2011

My 3 second wrap...

JILL
I remember when I kissed a pig's butt on a dare...

CUT TO:

EXT. BARN - 1995 - DAY

A younger JILL approaches a pig.

JILL (V.O.)
At the time, I didn't realize the implications it could have.
(puckering her lips)
I was just a young, ignorant fool.

The pig's butt is quite dirty, but JILL moves in for the kiss.

JILL (V.O.)
How was I to know I'd get staph infection from the butt of a pig.
(Jill smooches the dirty pig's butt.)
And how was I to know I'd end up in the hospital for three weeks.

talking to myself · Apr 16, 2011

Hi Livin -

Boy I thought my stuff is funny but it's nowhere near as funny as that. Pig butt! I love it.

So the "present day" VO goes right in the middle of the FB? That's not something I would have ever thought of. How does the reader know the VO isn't being spoken at the FB is taking place? Do I, as the writer, need to make that clear with the VO dialogue?

PS: You use camera directions, huh? I don't. I figure that can be worked out in the shooting script. But I guess it can be done either way.

Thanks for the response!

LIVIN · Apr 17, 2011

Well, I'm glad I could amuse you with whatever came off the top of my head.

Please realize that this was a quick and dirty take on how I might do it. You confuse me with this question:

"How does the reader know the VO isn't being spoken as the FB is taking place?"

In your initial post, you indicated that you wanted the VO to happen during the flashback. "What I'd like to do is make Jill's description of the event a VO that is heard while the FB is seen."

So, I made them occur together. In my mini-scene you see Jill kissing a pig's butt and hear her Voice Over (V.O.) of it.

Also, what abnormal camera directions did I use?

WriteKnight · Apr 17, 2011

Livin's example is a good one. Jill starts to talk 'in the moment'. Perhaps she is talking to another character. Or perhaps she is doing something - driving down the street. (In which case we hear her voice as a VO as she drives)

Flashback to the past - her comments can be interspaced as necessary during the flashback. The reader will assume the voice is continuous - that's why it's a VOICE OVER - we don't see her talking in the flashback. IT'S the voice of the present day Jill relating the story.

There are no camera directions in the above example - there are 'stage' directions, action directions. "Jill moves in" that sort of thing.

Now, if the character also speaks in a flashback - you do NOT use a voiceover.

EXT. BARN - 1995 - DAY

A younger JILL approaches a pig.

JILL (V.O.)
At the time, I didn't realize the implications it could have.
(puckering her lips)
I was just a young, ignorant fool.

The pig's butt is quite dirty, but JILL moves in for the kiss.

JILL
Damn it, hold still Arnold!

She reaches out and steadies the animal with one hand.

JILL (V.O.)
How was I to know I'd get staph infection from the butt of a pig.
(Jill smooches the dirty pig's butt.)
And how was I to know I'd end up in the hospital for three weeks.

talking to myself · Apr 18, 2011

LIVIN said:
Well, I'm glad I could amuse you with whatever came off the top of my head.

Please realize that this was a quick and dirty take on how I might do it. You confuse me with this question:

"How does the reader know the VO isn't being spoken as the FB is taking place?"

In your initial post, you indicated that you wanted the VO to happen during the flashback. "What I'd like to do is make Jill's description of the event a VO that is heard while the FB is seen."

So, I made them occur together. In my mini-scene you see Jill kissing a pig's butt and hear her Voice Over (V.O.) of it.

Also, what abnormal camera directions did I use?

lol

Good God, I'm not worthy. I bow down to you. Believe me, if anyone is doing anything abnormal, it's me. This is my first screenplay (I've switched to screenplays fm stories and books.)

About the camera directions: I was referring to the "CUT TO" you included in your suggestion. And what I meant is that I don't use those terms - it's my understanding that's not really the writer's domain. I know the writer CAN use them is he chooses, but I choose not to.
("Is that a problem? she asks meekly")

Here's what I'm getting at re the FB & VO:

During the flashback, which of course takes place in the past, I'd like to use a VO from a character who is speaking in the present.

So, using your example, how does the reader know the VO is occuring in the present and not sometime in the past i.e., when the FB happened or just after?

I get the gist of what you wrote. I just want to be sure it's clear the VO is being spoken in the present - as clarity is so important.

Maybe I need to make this clear with the VO dialogue?

VO during FB - how to format

talking to myself

New Fish; Learning About Thick Skin

LIVIN

talking to myself

New Fish; Learning About Thick Skin

LIVIN

WriteKnight

Arranger Of Disorder

talking to myself

New Fish; Learning About Thick Skin