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If you are a straight writer of erotica...

Thread starter sunandshadow
Start date Mar 15, 2011

sunandshadow

Impractical Fantasy Animal

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Mar 15, 2011

#1

Do you ever find it strange or uncomfortable that the main purpose of your work is to arouse other people of your same gender? And straight people of the opposite gender might even be repulsed by it? I was just pondering this today, how it seems counter-intuitive that my strong interest in males results in me writing things that appeal mainly to females. In evolutionary psychology and sociology the arts are often regarded as something people started doing to impress potential mates. I'd be quite pleased if my writing somehow resulted in men finding me more attractive. But my choice of subject is not compatible with that result.

Don't mean to exclude non-straight writers from the discussion, by the way. I just thought there wasn't really a parallel version of the situation for a gay writer, although certainly a gay writer might feel uncomfortable to find their erotica has fans of the opposite sex.

Last edited: Mar 15, 2011

kuwisdelu

Revolutionize the World

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Mar 15, 2011

#2

sunandshadow said:
Do you ever find it strange or uncomfortable that the main purpose of your work is to arouse other people of your same gender? And straight people of the opposite gender might even be repulsed by it?

I'm wondering why you think this is true.

It's certainly true that the audience of something like erotic romance is mostly women, but I'd think the main purpose would still be to arouse the reader, regardless of gender.

ELMontague

Mar 15, 2011

#3

My first readers were my friends, a bunch of middle-aged white males, they all had a little trouble with it. We had a few laughs over it. Our wives all decided we were just a bunch of perverts. One of my friends actually kept my first novel in the basement freezer (don't know what's up with that).

All said though, it was an uncomfortable experience for them, not me. The more they squirmed the more I knew I was getting it right, but I didn't really know I was starting to hit a stride until their wives began sending me comments.

Chris P

Likes metaphors mixed, not stirred

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Kind Benefactor

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Mar 15, 2011

#4

I've only experimented with erotica, but that has never occurred to me. When I do write it I write what turns me on. I figure if it turns me on the readers--men and women alike--will get turned on too; that's just reaching my audience. I don't see how erotica is any different than other genres; horror writers write gives themselves the creepies with the idea of giving others the creepies, humor writers write what they think is funny with the idea of making other people laugh, etc.

Let me turn your question around: While reading erotica, does it ever bother you (not you specifically, S&S, but the rhetorical "you") that others of your same sex also get turned on by what you're reading? Does it ever make you uncomfortable that the writer is the same sex as you? Neither question has ever occurred to me, so no, it hasn't made me uneasy.

Sarah Madara

Freeway stomper extraordinaire

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Mar 15, 2011

#5

sunandshadow said:
And straight people of the opposite gender might even be repulsed by it?

I am female. My husband does not read erotica and has no interest in it, which I think is largely because he is more visually oriented. Words do for me what pictures do for him.. 'nuf said.

But while he might find erotic romance laughable and unrealistic, he would not find it repulsive. Just what kind of kink are you writing?

Sex is sex.

In evolutionary psychology and sociology the arts are often regarded as something people started doing to impress potential mates. I'd be quite pleased if my writing somehow resulted in men finding me more attractive. But my choice of subject is not compatible with that result.

I know few, if any, men who would choose a potential mate based on her artistic endeavors.

Evolutionary theory can not say that people started doing art to impress potential mates. People do not consciously evolve (in the scientific sense, at least). What it may say is that those whose brains supported artistic endeavors ended up more reproductively successful. The motive is irrelevant.

Does it matter why a frog croaks out a mating call? He doesn't have to do it to impress a potential mate. He may do it just because it's what he's heard another male do, or because it feels good to do, or because he likes the sound of his own voice... yet if it does attract a female, and he fathers lots of children, the mating call will survive to the next generation. The frog's motives do not matter, only the results.

Satori1977

Listening to the Voices In My Head

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Mar 15, 2011

#6

Actually, no, quite the opposite. I think it is quite empowering. To know that if I am writing erotica, (and I am a woman), that mostly women will be reading it. So many women have issues with their sexuality. If it turns a woman on, gets her to voice her desires to her mate, helps her to have amazing sex, than I did my job.

VoireyLinger

Angel Wing Fetish

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Mar 15, 2011

#7

No. It's never occurred to me and I hope people of both genders find my writing hot.

And now that it has been mentioned I still don't give a shit on gender, actually. if it's hot, I did a good job, period.

Fruitbat

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Mar 15, 2011

#8

sunandshadow said:
Do you ever find it strange or uncomfortable that the main purpose of your work is to arouse other people of your same gender? And straight people of the opposite gender might even be repulsed by it? I was just pondering this today, how it seems counter-intuitive that my strong interest in males results in me writing things that appeal mainly to females. In evolutionary psychology and sociology the arts are often regarded as something people started doing to impress potential mates. I'd be quite pleased if my writing somehow resulted in men finding me more attractive. But my choice of subject is not compatible with that result.

Interesting question. As far as it repulsing guys, lol, I doubt it. I think the problem is more female erotica writers who get unwanted sexual attention because of their subject matter.

Last edited: May 27, 2011

sunandshadow

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Mar 16, 2011

#9

Chris P said:
Let me turn your question around: While reading erotica, does it ever bother you (not you specifically, S&S, but the rhetorical "you") that others of your same sex also get turned on by what you're reading? Does it ever make you uncomfortable that the writer is the same sex as you? Neither question has ever occurred to me, so no, it hasn't made me uneasy.

That's a good point. I can only call to mind one instance where it made me uncomfortable - I was co-writing by roleplaying with a female writer playing a male character. After we got through the first sex scene of the story it occurred to me that I had basically been cybering with another woman, even though it had felt like I had been cybering with the male character. It didn't really weird me out, but I did pause several times during the next few days to mull the idea over. I've met several roleplayers who refuse to roleplay sex with a player who isn't the gender they are attracted to (yet they don't care about the player's marital state or appearance and have no intention to ever meet the player in person). But on the other hand I've met several roleplayers who are fine with a player of either gender as long as their character is the appropriate gender.

Sarah Madara said:
But while he might find erotic romance laughable and unrealistic, he would not find it repulsive. Just what kind of kink are you writing? Sex is sex.

I wouldn't exactly call it a kink but I write mainly m/m and m/m/f erotica, which does indeed turn off a number of straight male readers.

Sarah Madara said:
Evolutionary theory can not say that people started doing art to impress potential mates. People do not consciously evolve (in the scientific sense, at least). What it may say is that those whose brains supported artistic endeavors ended up more reproductively successful. The motive is irrelevant.

Evolutionary sociology. Culture is partly conscious, and even higher animals like chimpanzees and elephants exhibit different courtship success based on learned and invented conscious behaviors. Chimpanzees for example will figure out what is the favorite food of the individual they are courting and give gifts of that food in preference to gifts of other food. Chimpanzees have also been observed to use noise-making objects to make themselves more impressive to other chimpanzees. One specific example, a male chimpanzee acquired a pair of gas-cans and carried them around for years, banging them together whenever he needed to appear impressive - this won him a more dominant and reproductively successful position in his group than he could have earned with just his own body.

That's not art but it's not too far of a stretch from there to proto-humans singing and dancing to impress potential mates. And while it might be most common to think of a male suitor serenading a female, it's also traditional for women in various cultures to impress men with the artistry of their cooking and needle-work or pottery, as well as singing and dancing. Men too have traditionally impressed women with carving, painting, and telling stories of their hunting or war triumphs.

RomanceWriter

New kid, be gentle!

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Mar 16, 2011

#10

I'm a straight woman writing straight and gay erotic romance. I have readers of both sexes. I write the sex to be a titillating experience without thinking of the gender of the audience.

veinglory

volitare nequeo

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Mar 16, 2011

#11

No. I am writing them a story not actually having intercourse with them. The relative orientations of me, the character, and the reader need not be related in any way.

brainstorm77

practical experience, FTW

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Mar 16, 2011

#12

No.

Wayne K

Banned

Mar 16, 2011

#13

I'm pansexual so I have no idea. The way I see writing sex is that I'm fucking your mind. If I do it well I'm a god. I like being god. If I was straight I'd get a kick out of getting guys aroused. That would add to my godliness

It would also be a testament to my writing, especially if the reader knows I'm a guy

Sarah Madara

Freeway stomper extraordinaire

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Mar 16, 2011

#14

sunandshadow said:
I wouldn't exactly call it a kink but I write mainly m/m and m/m/f erotica, which does indeed turn off a number of straight male readers.

Ah, yes, many straight men are turned off by too many penises in the room. And I happen to be a female who does not get the appeal of m/m stories to women, but to each her own. No one's tastes are universal, and sexuality is complex.

And while it might be most common to think of a male suitor serenading a female, it's also traditional for women in various cultures to impress men with the artistry of their cooking and needle-work or pottery, as well as singing and dancing. Men too have traditionally impressed women with carving, painting, and telling stories of their hunting or war triumphs.

Evolutionary biology demands that every adaptation have a reproductive advantage, and sociology does not exist independent of that. So why would people be impressed by art? Perhaps it evolved along with a playful, creative brain and artistic endeavors are evidence of that intellect... in which case those with a propensity to create art might also have been smarter than their peers, more able to creatively adapt to changing circumstances.

And then along the line, it becomes a status issue. If others respect the artist, then the artist gains status in the community, which helps guarantee the success of his or her offspring. Just one possibility. I haven't studied this.

Cooking, needlework, and pottery are all domestic skills that carry more weight than artistry alone; they demonstrate an ability to care for the family unit.

But the main question is: Are you doing this to attract men? If so, you might want to rethink your strategy. And if not, then enjoy the artifact of evolution however it brings you pleasure.

dangerousbill

Retired Illuminatus

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Mar 16, 2011

#15

sunandshadow said:
Do you ever find it strange or uncomfortable that the main purpose of your work is to arouse other people of your same gender? And straight people of the opposite gender might even be repulsed by it?

OK. I'm thinking about it now.

Thinking...

Thinking...

Thinking...

Nope. Doesn't bother me a bit. No different than sharing dirty pictures on the playground.

dangerousbill

Retired Illuminatus

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Mar 16, 2011

#16

But I am puzzled at the runaway popularity of M/M written by female authors for female readers. I guess it's part of the head-spinning complexity of the female psyche.

May it remain head-spinning.

Lulubell

Registered

Mar 16, 2011

#17

Hihihihi Dangerousbill... Nothing complicated there. The same appeal as the barely legal schoolgirl lesbians vol 27

One hot guy good, two hot guys better, two hot guys making out, well, You get the idea.
To the OP: Nop. But then again, I'm bi. My (straight male) beta only gets squicked out if it's M/M which is not that surprising.

scarletpeaches

Banned

Mar 16, 2011

#18

dangerousbill said:
But I am puzzled at the runaway popularity of M/M written by female authors for female readers. I guess it's part of the head-spinning complexity of the female psyche.

May it remain head-spinning.

Are you as confused by F/F aimed at men? Because it exists for the same reason: it's fucking hot.

Switch-Phase

Super Member

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Mar 16, 2011

#19

Wayne K said:
I'm pansexual so I have no idea. The way I see writing sex is that I'm fucking your mind. If I do it well I'm a god. I like being god. If I was straight I'd get a kick out of getting guys aroused. That would add to my godliness

It would also be a testament to my writing, especially if the reader knows I'm a guy

lol That's awesome! I'm a panromantic asexual, so I have yet to even lose my virginity. I've always been fascinated with the various sexual interactions with the people around me, and because of my nature, I've been allowed to casually observe quite a few sexual experiences which I like to look at from artistic and psychological aspects. My obsession is based moreso on the union of two bodies forgetting themselves in these passionate moments.

I've wondered the same thing, though. My question is more if it would effect how different genders interpret me for writing it. I'd like to try, but I've wondered if men would assume I'm highly sex driven for it. I'd be happy with either gender being aroused by my stories though ^^

Switch-Phase

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Mar 16, 2011

#20

scarletpeaches said:
Are you as confused by F/F aimed at men? Because it exists for the same reason: it's fucking hot.

You know those guys who like to see sisters kissing? >> I don't mind Wincest

scarletpeaches

Banned

Mar 16, 2011

#21

Why d'y'think Dean's all sparkly?

Switch-Phase

Super Member

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Mar 16, 2011

#22

YUS!

brainstorm77

practical experience, FTW

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Mar 16, 2011

#23

scarletpeaches said:
Are you as confused by F/F aimed at men? Because it exists for the same reason: it's fucking hot.

Indeed. The female readers that I know who read it, well...this!

Satori1977

Listening to the Voices In My Head

Super Member

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Mar 16, 2011

#24

My husband thinks I have an obsession with gay men...but when I explained that he likes two women together, he understood it before. Not sure why he didn't think of that earlier. But like someone stated above, guys tend to get weird if there is another penis in the room anyway.

Like SP said, it is simply hot. Some might think that these women have a penis complex, or want to be the one fucking a man (ie: penetration). Perhaps, for a select few. For me, it is much simpler than that. It is hot. That is all.

Wayne K

Banned

Mar 16, 2011

#25

If loving M/M is wrong, I don't wanna be right

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