Memoir Platform - getting the message clear

I completed my memoir and have been working on building my platform. I'm on Facebook, Twitter, have a blog, website, etc. but having the tools and using them effectively aren't the same and I'm wondering if there's more I can do to reach the broadest possible audience.

For example, I have a Facebook fan page where I post book-related updates (whether about the book itself or about me), plus my blog entries are reposted here. I have 34 "Likes" which doesn't seem like a lot. I get very few comments on Facebook itself, and zero blog comments. Clearly I'm not really reaching many people.

For a long time while working on my blog my wife would ask, "What's it about?" She knew what it was about but was trying to get me to pin it down so I would know. And for a long time I'd rattle off that it's about this and about that and this happens and that happens. Eventually I settled on something along the lines of, "It's about my parents' desperate attempt to save my brother from himself, how I dealt with getting caught in the current, and how I came to realize I had to let go of the past in order to move on with my life." I dunno, to me it sounds pretty grim, and there is a lot of grim reality in the story, but it's also balanced with humor, adventure, and excitement.

Basically, I was born in Libya to British parents of Irish descent. We left Libya in the wake of the Six Day War and came to America where I took to growing up American no different from any other American. Yet in 1970, my brother (9 years old at the time) was sent to boarding school in Dungannon, Northern Ireland. He didn't stay long because violence began erupting there.

Anyway, we eventually ended up in Anchorage, Alaska, in 1973 and had many adventures there. I focus on how close my brother and I are even as he grows into an out of control rebellious teenager. He gets into dope, alcohol, partying, girls, etc. which culminates in 1976 with him getting busted for stealing a case of beer - the last straw. After a family fight my parents say to him they love him and will do anything for him. What can they do to help?

My brother replied "Send me back to Irish boarding school. That's the only way to save me." So they do, and they send me along, too. They don't want to see me turn out the same way as him.

Unfortunately, in less than a year my brother is expelled from the boarding school - got drunk and embarrassed the headmaster in front of a group of parents. The following year he went to another boarding school outside Dublin while I went to a school in Enniskillen, Northern Ireland. My welcome was, "Just what we @#$%ing need, another @#$%ing yank."

Eventually my brother was expelled from Irish boarding school altogether (drugs, alcohol, truancy) and ended up at the American School in Majorca while I was left to my own devices in Northern Ireland experiencing The Troubles first hand.

By this time my parents had moved from Alaska to Saudi Arabia where I went during the major holidays. That offered it's own adventures, to be sure! And while school in Northern Ireland was otherwise grim, it wasn't a complete grind. I had a couple of pretty good friends and we bucked the system as best we could and had some laughs. In 1981 I moved to a school in England and my welcome there was along the lines of, "Hello mate. I'm Elliot. Like to go down to the pub for a pint? Here, have a cigarette." Absolutely brilliant welcome.

My brother and how he affected me is the story. His behavior got him into so much trouble - then in 1979 after he quit school and was working oil rigs in LA I got a call from my mom saying "there's been an accident." Turned out my brother had been arrested for something and three hours later was in intensive care. The police said he tried to hang himself with his shoe laces. He suffered a brain injury that the doctors said would likely heal if he let it. Well, my brother knew better and continued on the same path as before which is likely why his situation is so grim now.

My memoir is centered on the years I was away, 1976-1983 with a bit of family history near the beginning to set the stage. The whole thing is wrapped in present day bookends reflecting mine and my brothers very different paths, mine being, in part, due to my realization that I had to let go of the past to move on. Hence my line, "Open your eyes before old age robs you of your sight."

Obviously if I were to be asked what my book's about I can't repeat the above - not easily at least. As I said I want people to know this isn't a boarding school story, nor just a substance abuse story, nor just a travelogue. It isn't just a grind nor a comedy either. It's all of these things.

Please have a look at my site (in my sig) and, with the above info in mind (or not if that would be better), let me know how it comes across. Thank you.

PinkAmy said:

Do people comment on your name all the time? I guess you use your middle initial so you're not confused with another famous Richard Nixon, LOL. It's hard to get a platform for a memoir, unlike other types of nonfiction because you're selling your life story. I was told that having a blog or website is meaning less unless it gets in the tens of thousands of hits, because website traffic doesn't necessarily translate to sales. If you concentrate on making sure your manuscript is well written and error free, and that your proposal covers all the bases with a strong marketing section, that should be good enough. In my opinion, you'd be better off not mentioning the FB and blog with so few hits because it might seem amateurish since the proposal is used to show how you're book will sell and 34 likes doesn't translate to tons of sales.
Let's see what others have to say.
Your memoir sounds interesting.

Click to expand...

34 Likes not going to cut it, eh? LOL.

Many thanks for the response and kind words.

Yes, I use Richard Nixon when I can - it's my little attention getter. I had to use my middle initial because all the websites without it were taken.

The strong marketing section is the big concern. I began building my platform following a personal response from an agent advising me that my story was good but since I was a newcomer a platform would be good. I think this was dead-on advice.

Not long ago I attended a writers workshop where we were asked, "Who has already published a book?" and most of the hands went up. "Now who will have their first book published this year?" and almost all the rest of the hands went up. I felt intimidated until I realized we were all in the same boat there for the same reason - to learn how to build and grow our platforms. I'd just read a story of a lady who got a two book deal and then lost it at her first book signing because sales were not there.

My goal is to build a following of fans interested in my story. If I can't connect with a larger number than 34 now, I'm doing something wrong. I need to fix that before the book goes on sale, but before I fix anything I need to figure out what's broken.

I had been wanting to ask "How does one connect with people" - I mean well beyond the list of what to do. Now, however, I think instead I should be asking why am I not connecting? That might be a better question.

The first thing I think I need is to get the description right. Maybe I've accomplished that, and maybe I haven't. Is my message clear and inviting, or does it make you want to run away fast? If the latter, why?

The second thing I think I need is to make sure I'm not overselling the book. I've recently changed the website to emphasize me rather than my memoir, but do I need to do more? What would people be looking for to encourage them to want to get my book (not specifically, of course, unless there are specifics one could offer)?

P.S. I should have added that "platform" to me means people who know me and are waiting to get my book.

Hi Focus,

Thank you very much. I'm on the Harvard pitch page now - very interesting.

My "short" pitch - "It's about my parents' desperate attempt to save my brother from himself, how I dealt with getting caught in the current, and how I came to realize I had to let go of the past in order to move on with my life."

The "long" pitch from my website - "In 1976 police arrested my fifteen year old brother for stealing a case of beer. It was the last straw. I was eleven years old.

My brother said Irish boarding school would fix everything. My parents agreed and thought it would be good for me, too. They were wrong.

Over the Hills and Far Away is the story of my seven years away; the good, the bad, the funny and the tragic, from Alaska to Ireland to England to Saudi Arabia - always in the shadow of my brother's ongoing problems.

In 1983 I finally returned to the States but as a foreigner in a foreign land, and for years I thought it was because of boarding school.

I was wrong, too, about a great many things. It's taken me over thirty years to realize that.

Open your eyes before old age robs you of your sight."

That comes to about 37 seconds per the Harvard pitch analysis.

If I'm not answering "why should I read it" and "what will I get out of it" then I'm missing the mark and that's what I need to know. From the analysis it appears I have some room for additional detail, and that's good because even the "long" version appears to set up a mostly grim boo hoo grind which is what I'm wanting to avoid.

PinkAmy - good points.

I do have my own domain - www.richardpnixon.com. I'm not necessarily trying to draw people to my blog per se, because my blog is comprised largely of my notes along the way to getting published. I've been hearing that the blog has to he hip and useful and I have to be the goto person for my tribe. Well, not sure I agree. Maybe that's the way things should be - I'm not sure I'm convinced.

I get about half the hits to my website via search engines from people all over the world who stay long enough to go through the entire site - that's the good news. Then they go away without showing further interest in my book or me - not good.

You are not being negative - or if you are I'm feeling it's constructive. I'm glad you said my memoir doesn't fit neatly into a particular category - I've known that for some time which is probably why I'm having trouble distilling it down to what I need to get people interested.

My thinking has been in overdrive since reading the comments, and I think I've identified a major issue. I've said I want to make sure people understand my memoir isn't all doom and gloom, that it's balanced with laughter and humor, yet I don't really give any indication in my pitch other than "the good". WTH is that supposed to mean? Hmm...

I am currently reworking my pitch. That may not be all I need to do but it's a good start (when I get excited about having to do work I know it's gotta be worthwhile work).

conspicuouschick - thank you for your frankness. I'm now reading this thread: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=59255&highlight=write+query

Looks good!

This is what I've come up with:
---------------------
In 1976 my fifteen year old brother Roger was the coolest person in the world to me. His partying with girls and getting high seemed like a lot of fun to me. Then he got arrested for stealing a case of beer. I was eleven.

My parents agreed Irish boarding school – something they’d tried before with him, would solve everything, and they thought it would be good for me, too.

Ireland didn’t fix anything. Roger picked up where he left off and was expelled leaving me vulnerable and alone. Northern Ireland greeted me with, “Just what we need – another fucking Yank.” After a bomb killed a friend came the call, “Roger’s been in an accident.”

It took every ounce of what my brother had taught me and my own sense of rebellion to find my way through, and with the help of a couple of good friends, I even had some laughs along the way. And on holidays I flew home, now Saudi Arabia – the exotic and often draconian culture contrasted wonderfully with making my own wine, helping Roger run the still, or checking out the chicks at the swimming pool.

After seven years I finally got what I’d wanted most of all and returned to the United States. Only now I felt like a foreigner, and I blamed being sent to boarding school.

One day years later I decided I was tired of watching life more than living it. I wanted to be a dad to my young children, not just play the part of one. Something had to change; I had to put to rest the ghosts of the past. As I did, something unexpected happened - the ghosts became real people who stepped up to help me, and what haunted me simply vanished, and I realized what I thought made me an outsider was actually a rich and flavorsome blend of culture and experience to be cherished.

Open your eyes before old age robs you of your sight.
-----------------------

A bit long but at least seems to touch the relevant bases.

Right direction or not? Thanks.

I'm still here - I've just been giving some very serious attention to the comments posted.

Many thanks everyone. I've now had time to bottle a revision. Don't know if it's fine wine or not, but it seems to cover the bases.

NOTE: Format change - third person present tense. Correct as necessary. Suggestions welcomed.

---------

When Richard is eleven living in Alaska, he thinks his fifteen year old brother Roger is the coolest person in the world. His brother’s pot smoking, drinking, girls and do-whatever-he-pleased attitude increasingly drives his parent's frustrations to the edge, but to Richard it seems like a lot of fun, especially to be included.

In 1976 police bust Roger breaking and entering for a case of beer. Mom and Dad have had enough, decide Irish boarding school will solve everything, and say it will be good for Richard, too. That’s okay, though; his big brother will see him through.

Boarding school doesn’t even slow Roger down and Sligo expels him by the end of the second term forcing Dad to fly over to try to fix things. He fails. As a result, Richard is moved to school in Northern Ireland the following year where he is greeted with, “Just what we need – another fucking Yank.” Richard wants to go home.

His brother’s exit both sparks and tempers Richard's surging sense of rebellion, and with the help of a couple of friends he makes it safely through the terms with some good times and life-long laughs but ready to go home to recharge.

Home now is an American-ish residential compound in Saudi Arabia providing a whole new dimension of adventure through a mix of exotic culture, Western conveniences, and beautiful girls. Roger is there, too, but the brothers aren’t the same as they once were. Instead of being impressed with his antics, Richard stays up with Mom wondering when his brother will come home, or if.

Richard’s boarding school days end after seven years; he finally gets what he’s wanted and the family moves to Deep South, USA, and when Richard doesn’t pick up being American where he left off, he thinks he knows why.

Thirty years on, Richard still lives in the shadow of boarding school while Roger talks reverently about the good old days of fun and freedom. As Richard’s children fast approach the age he was when he went away, he realizes something has to change.

Over the Hills and Far Away is his journey of understanding where the past fits into the present and how, through facing that past he now appreciates what he once loathed, a lesson he wishes his big brother could grasp.

Open your eyes before old age robs you of your sight.

Purple Rose said:

In 1976 police arrested my fifteen year old brother for stealing a case of beer. It was the last straw. I was eleven years old.

Hi Khobar, I still prefer the above introduction. If that was the last straw, i am left wondering what happened before then. It makes me want more. This sounds like quite a raw tale, maybe even brutal (?) but the newest query comes across as just another story of boarding school antics. It gives a good synopsis but lacks the harshness which I think gives the story its appeal.

By the way, have you considered publishing this in the UK? Just wondering if that might be a better market for your story.

Click to expand...

First of all thank you for your comments.

I like the "raw" feel of the original, too, but felt it had problems. Maybe I'm overanalyzing things but the "stealing" part seemed to suggest my brother was just a thief. As far as I know there was only this one major incident. Also what seemed to be missing is his making time for me, not necessarily for pot smoking or drinking, etc. although there was some of that for me. In my eyes he really was a pretty cool big brother, and part of the whole point of the book is that I've essentially lost him.

Whether this belongs in the synopsis I'm not sure, but I'll see about tightening and getting back some of the raw feel.

And, of course, I thought I needed to place me in Alaska. However, I can do that by saying "In 1976 Anchorage police blah blah".

I have thought about a UK release. There's something for everyone in my story, so we'll see.

Thank you again.

Maybe opening with something like:

"Richard thinks his fifteen year old brother, Roger, is the coolest person in the world.

In 1976 Anchorage police arrest Roger for stealing a case of beer. It is the last straw. Richard is eleven."

In rereading the "raw" version I think there are some "high value" words used. In the latest version I exchange these for a lot of low-value ones which may add specific clarity but also dilute the impact.

Another idea:

"To Richard Nixon, his fifteen year old brother, Roger, is the coolest person in the world.

In 1976 Anchorage police arrest Roger for stealing a case of beer. It is the last straw. Richard is eleven."

FocusOnEnergy said:

I'll take a swing at the pinata:

11-year-old Richard Nixon thought his older brother, Roger, was the coolest person on Earth. At fifteen, he had all the liquor, drugs, and girls he wanted, and he got away with everything. Until the night the police arrested Roger for stealing a case of beer.

Their parents decided that an Irish boarding school was the solution and Roger and Richard left Anchorage, Alaska for Enniskillen, Northern Ireland.

They were wrong. Ireland was only the beginning of Richard's journey, that left him feeling like a foreigner in his own country when he returned to America, a grown man.

Somewhere along the way he learned an important lesson about life.

Open your eyes before old age robs you of your sight.

Focus

Click to expand...

Thank you Laura. Very nice.

You sure did hit the nail on the head when you said, "he got away with everything." That's exactly how it seemed to me at the time. He also got everything he wanted (at least from my perspective) which confused the heck out of me.

However, the crucial aspect of our relationship is missing. It's not that he had all the liquor, drugs, and girls that he wanted - that was only part of it. More importantly, I think, was that he made time for me, stood up for me, spoke up for me, and, yes, included me in some of his partying.

Maybe I'm fretting over detail, but Roger getting expelled from Sligo was a watershed moment (we were sent to Sligo for the first year. I moved to Enniskillen the following year).

Additional backstory - Roger originally went to boarding school in Dungannon in 1970. He complained about bombs and bullets and rioting and had Mom on a plane with me in tow after only a few months. When we got there I didn't notice any particular violence (but I was only 6 so would I?). We went to Portora in Enniskillen at that time to see if it would be any better for Roger, but it didn't work out as Roger made a comment the headmaster didn't like. Mom said there was no way she'd send any child of hers to that school.

Ironic that's where I ended up in 1977.

Bluestone said:

Khobar, I do think you have an interesting story to tell and having checked out your website, your writing style is engaging and skilled.

If I may offer an opinion, I think we all get caught up in the details of our stories and lose the point of the pitch. It shouldn't hit every stopover on your journey, nor even the ones that seem more important to you. We have to pull ourselves away from the subjective and consider our audience. Why will they care?

Yes, you may have carried a lifetime of resentment that your brother "got away with everything" or "stood up for me," but don't get hung up on those details. The reader will discover for him/herself whether this is the case and in what way within the book. Depending upon birth order, many people feel that a sibling "got everything" "got away with everything." was their parent's favourite, etc., it isn't the most interesting part of a pitch or query. You can't afford to waste words on anything but the punchiest parts. Although it should be factual, it should also be a tease to hook the reader (or before that, the agent).

I also suggest that you get more specific about events. Fix things, how? Rebellion, how? Finally gets what he wanted, how? "Good times and laughs" don't paint a picture. Do you see what I mean? You don't have to include all these aspects in the pitch (and I wouldn't, because there are too many), but whatever you do choose should work hard, set up tension and instill a desire to learn more.

Best of luck.

Click to expand...

Hi Bluestone and many thanks. I very much appreciate it.

I actually have different versions, some where I've included specific events. They felt lopsided to me - probably because I knew all the other events and wondered why I chose the ones I did.

I'll think about your ideas and see what happens. However, if you got "lifelong resentment" from what you read then I've missed the mark badly. I don't resent my brother - I miss him, more so given the fact that he's still alive.