A tricky scene to write....

danshaw said:

Hi all,

I have a scene to write that I am finding tricky to format, so I was hoping you guys could help.

My main character, a marathon runner, is running.

There are a few different things happening.

1) He is running in slow motion
2) He is thinking in his mind of a montage of his training and his trainer motivating him. This in itself is a montage of running, jumping, a stopwatch clicking, injecting steroids etc. This is NOT in slow moiton.
3) We need to cut back to him at various points so we see his face and expressions change, and also his feet running. This part is slow motion.
4) There is a voiceover over the whole thing.

I am stumped as to how to organise all this on the page. Any ideas very welcome!

Thanks

Click to expand...

Okay -- here's the deal. There are things that you, as a screenwriter can effectively approximate using the tools of prose that are available to you.

And there are other things that you cannot.

Virtually all of things that you are talking about have to do with the kinds of decisions that would normally be made, first, by a director and D.P. making shot selections, and second, by a director and editor in the cutting room.

The extent to which you can reproduce or indicate these things on the printed page is limited and you really have to not drive yourself crazy trying to do in one medium what can, at best, only really be suggested because it's really meant to be achieved in a different medium.

The simplest way to go about it is do something like

SERIES OF SHOTS

BOB ON THE COURSE -- his face in agony as he runs, his legs pumping in SLOW MOTION.

FLASHBACK -- Bob on a treadmill, running fast, sweating.

FLASHBACK -- Bob pacing his TRAINER in a car, timing him with a stop watch.

TRAINER
Let's go, move, move!

BOB (VO)
Ten miles a day, twelve miles a day, fifteen miles
a day --

THE PRESENT -- Bob running, covered in sweat, sun shining in his eyes -- other runners out in front. He pushes himself hard, trying to gain on them. He can't find any more strength to close the distance.

Something like that.

NMS