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Random Questions about Erotica

Thread starter singsebastian
Start date Dec 23, 2010

singsebastian

New kid, be gentle!

Super Member

Registered

Dec 23, 2010

#1

BTW - I'm pretty much into BDSM writting.
and no - I haven't had sex............such is my fail.

and I also like to write M/M - because Het just doesn't work for me.

1 - What is the best way to get over my embarassment of writing sex? Besides just writing it, which I think will be the answer anyway

2 - Do my titles have to include the name of my hero? or some sort of descriptive word of nature? One title I read was 'A Rose in Winter', and I never could figure out how the title went with the story...@_@

3 - When writing sex, can't I just be forward with it instead of using monickers for the guys penis? I mean, honestly, there are just so many times one can use 'man stick' and not snicker at their own writing. ~~major edit here because the other word just wasn't gonna work for me!~~
4 - what are some cliches of the genre I should stay away from or that I can turn on their heads.

5 - how exotic is too exotic? If I have a really hot Japanese fellow and his American counter part....is that just a turn off?

6 - BDSM clubs, good or bad?

Last edited: Dec 23, 2010

Wayne K

Banned

Dec 23, 2010

#2

1. Just write it

3. A cock is a cock is a dick. Anything else except in extreme circumstances is too much

6. Good. Very good f you do it right

The others, I don't know

benbradley

It's a doggy dog world

Super Member

Registered

Dec 23, 2010

#3

I don't write this stuff, but the first thing is, it's genitals, not, um ... even if I am one ...

singsebastian

New kid, be gentle!

Super Member

Registered

Dec 23, 2010

#4

benbradley said:
I don't write this stuff, but the first thing is, it's genitals, not, um ... even if I am one ...

*lol*
sorry. I'll fix that. I always have trouble with that word.

@Wayne K -
See, I dunno why people just cannot use 'penis' seeing as how that's what it is! *giggle*
Thanks for what you did give me though. That's helps.

ELMontague

Dec 23, 2010

#5

I'm pretty much into BDSM writting.

So are lots of people, which is good for being read.

and no - I haven't had sex............such is my fail.

We were all virgins once...

and I also like to write M/M - because Het just doesn't work for me.

also popular.

1 - What is the best way to get over my embarassment of writing sex? Besides just writing it, which I think will be the answer anyway

Just get over it. Writing is about honesty, even when you're lying, and until you aren't embarrassed your writing will always show it.

2 - Do my titles have to include the name of my hero? or some sort of descriptive word of nature? One title I read was 'A Rose in Winter', and I never could figure out how the title went with the story...@_@

Erotica is a genre, not a joke. The story dictates the title in much the same way it does for Romance, Chic Lit, Historical, Biographical, Science Fiction, Fantasy, etc., etc., etc...

3 - When writing sex, can't I just be forward with it instead of using monickers for the guys gentiles? I mean, honestly, there are just so many times one can use 'man stick' and not snicker at their own writing.

Be frank. Purple prose have their place, but it only works in a few places. I favor cock, some favor dick, and a few even favor penis. I've also got a short list for pussy.

4 - what are some cliches of the genre I should stay away from or that I can turn on their heads.

Don't worry about what not to write. Write what you want to read and then see where it leads you.

5 - how exotic is too exotic? If I have a really hot Japanese fellow and his American counter part....is that just a turn off?

You can as exotic as you like inside the bounds of legality.

6 - BDSM clubs, good or bad?

Good, but careful where you tread. The real life BDSM crowd will know when you're full of it.

singsebastian

New kid, be gentle!

Super Member

Registered

Dec 23, 2010

#6

ELMontague said:
So are lots of people, which is good for being read.

We were all virgins once...

also popular.

Just get over it. Writing is about honesty, even when you're lying, and until you aren't embarrassed your writing will always show it.

Erotica is a genre, not a joke. The story dictates the title in much the same way it does for Romance, Chic Lit, Historical, Biographical, Science Fiction, Fantasy, etc., etc., etc...

Be frank. Purple prose have their place, but it only works in a few places. I favor cock, some favor dick, and a few even favor penis. I've also got a short list for pussy.

Don't worry about what not to write. Write what you want to read and then see where it leads you.

You can as exotic as you like inside the bounds of legality.

Good, but careful where you tread. The real life BDSM crowd will know when you're full of it.

oh wow!
Thank you!
dang, I saw my spelling mistake. Again. *sigh* I shall fix that.

Ummmm....with my BDSM Club, I figured that I could make up some rules. And I've done a little bit of research into the BDSM life style. But I know what you mean. I don't want people to get pissed because I wrote something wrong that my research didn't indicate.

VoireyLinger

Angel Wing Fetish

Super Member

Registered

Dec 24, 2010

#7

1 - What is the best way to get over my embarassment of writing sex? Besides just writing it, which I think will be the answer anyway

-- Sorry. Just do it. If it helps, I don't think this is restricted to sex scenes. The more you write, the easier it gets and the more your skills increase.

2 - Do my titles have to include the name of my hero? or some sort of descriptive word of nature? One title I read was 'A Rose in Winter', and I never could figure out how the title went with the story...@_@

--I think titles should suit stories, but there is no magic 'matchy-matchy' thing. There also has to be a level of marketability and (in my case) i had to change names because they had already published one with a similar title. My best advice: Choose a title you like, but have backups ready.

3 - When writing sex, can't I just be forward with it instead of using monickers for the guys penis? I mean, honestly, there are just so many times one can use 'man stick' and not snicker at their own writing. ~~major edit here because the other word just wasn't gonna work for me!~~

-- I use cock and dick mostly. I bring in some other words and phrases to keep things from being repetitive, but I don't do the flowery, the purple or the ridiculous.

4 - what are some cliches of the genre I should stay away from or that I can turn on their heads.

--One person's annoying cliche is another person's favorite trope. Write the story.

5 - how exotic is too exotic? If I have a really hot Japanese fellow and his American counter part....is that just a turn off?

-- I see no exotic there...much less 'too exotic'.

6 - BDSM clubs, good or bad?

-- They are pretty commonplace. This goes back to #4 for me.

dangerousbill

Retired Illuminatus

Super Member

Registered

Dec 24, 2010

#8

singsebastian said:
BTW - I'm pretty much into BDSM writting.
and no - I haven't had sex............such is my fail.
and I also like to write M/M - because Het just doesn't work for me.

1. The more you write erotica, the easier it will be. However, for many years I found it useful to combine it with nonerotic writing projects, so I could tell people what I was doing with all those hours at the computer. I've lost those inhibitions since.

2. No. My recent title contained the heroine's name, and the editor changed it into the much superior 'Lessons at the Edge'.

3. In my most recent novel, the heroine preferred 'penis' and 'vagina', so the hero, being a submissive type, used those terms around her, too. In his private thoughts, they were still 'cock' and 'pussy'. In other words, I use the choice of terms as an element of characterization in my stories. The days of using 'sex' and 'member' are long past, even in mainstream fiction.

4. The book of erotic cliches is 2,465 pages long. Read in the genre awhile.

5. Publishers list what is too exotic (or taboo) for them: children, scat, animals, snuff, etc. All else is fair game.

6. No experience.

Last edited: Dec 24, 2010

singsebastian

New kid, be gentle!

Super Member

Registered

Dec 24, 2010

#9

VoireyLinger said:
1 - What is the best way to get over my embarassment of writing sex? Besides just writing it, which I think will be the answer anyway

-- Sorry. Just do it. If it helps, I don't think this is restricted to sex scenes. The more you write, the easier it gets and the more your skills increase.

2 - Do my titles have to include the name of my hero? or some sort of descriptive word of nature? One title I read was 'A Rose in Winter', and I never could figure out how the title went with the story...@_@

--I think titles should suit stories, but there is no magic 'matchy-matchy' thing. There also has to be a level of marketability and (in my case) i had to change names because they had already published one with a similar title. My best advice: Choose a title you like, but have backups ready.

3 - When writing sex, can't I just be forward with it instead of using monickers for the guys penis? I mean, honestly, there are just so many times one can use 'man stick' and not snicker at their own writing. ~~major edit here because the other word just wasn't gonna work for me!~~

-- I use cock and dick mostly. I bring in some other words and phrases to keep things from being repetitive, but I don't do the flowery, the purple or the ridiculous.

4 - what are some cliches of the genre I should stay away from or that I can turn on their heads.

--One person's annoying cliche is another person's favorite trope. Write the story.

5 - how exotic is too exotic? If I have a really hot Japanese fellow and his American counter part....is that just a turn off?

-- I see no exotic there...much less 'too exotic'.

6 - BDSM clubs, good or bad?

-- They are pretty commonplace. This goes back to #4 for me.

Oh well, that all makes sense.

Thank you.

@Dangerousbill
Thank you for answering my list as well.
Wow, this may work out after all. *lol*

scarletpeaches

Banned

Dec 24, 2010

#10

1 - What is the best way to get over my embarassment of writing sex? Besides just writing it, which I think will be the answer anyway
There is no other answer. You don't get over your fear of something by avoiding it. For the same reason I put myself forward for public speaking engagements from time to time. Yes, I get nervous but I'm nowhere near as bad as I used to be. I get complimented on sounding so confident, in fact!

2 - Do my titles have to include the name of my hero? or some sort of descriptive word of nature? One title I read was 'A Rose in Winter', and I never could figure out how the title went with the story...@_@
No; why would they? None of my titles include a name. I've rarely noticed any that do. I know they exist but there's no rule about it.

3 - When writing sex, can't I just be forward with it instead of using monickers for the guys penis? I mean, honestly, there are just so many times one can use 'man stick' and not snicker at their own writing. ~~major edit here because the other word just wasn't gonna work for me!~~
Oh God; please do be forward. I use 'cock' more than any other word and hate euphemisms. If you ever, ever write 'purple-headed, double-action bollock-yoghurt shotgun', I will kill you stone dead.

'Right Honourable Member for Underpants', also.

4 - what are some cliches of the genre I should stay away from or that I can turn on their heads.
Avoid all cliches. Unless you're turning them on their heads.

5 - how exotic is too exotic? If I have a really hot Japanese fellow and his American counter part....is that just a turn off?
Nothing is 'too exotic' if it's well-written.

6 - BDSM clubs, good or bad?
To write about or attend? Both are cool.

singsebastian

New kid, be gentle!

Super Member

Registered

Dec 24, 2010

#11

scarletpeaches said:
1 - What is the best way to get over my embarassment of writing sex? Besides just writing it, which I think will be the answer anyway
There is no other answer. You don't get over your fear of something by avoiding it. For the same reason I put myself forward for public speaking engagements from time to time. Yes, I get nervous but I'm nowhere near as bad as I used to be. I get complimented on sounding so confident, in fact!

2 - Do my titles have to include the name of my hero? or some sort of descriptive word of nature? One title I read was 'A Rose in Winter', and I never could figure out how the title went with the story...@_@
No; why would they? None of my titles include a name. I've rarely noticed any that do. I know they exist but there's no rule about it.

3 - When writing sex, can't I just be forward with it instead of using monickers for the guys penis? I mean, honestly, there are just so many times one can use 'man stick' and not snicker at their own writing. ~~major edit here because the other word just wasn't gonna work for me!~~
Oh God; please do be forward. I use 'cock' more than any other word and hate euphemisms. If you ever, ever write 'purple-headed, double-action bollock-yoghurt shotgun', I will kill you stone dead.

'Right Honourable Member for Underpants', also.

4 - what are some cliches of the genre I should stay away from or that I can turn on their heads.
Avoid all cliches. Unless you're turning them on their heads.

5 - how exotic is too exotic? If I have a really hot Japanese fellow and his American counter part....is that just a turn off?
Nothing is 'too exotic' if it's well-written.

6 - BDSM clubs, good or bad?
To write about or attend? Both are cool.

I saw that you used a variation "Right Honerable Member of Undershire" - it reminded me of Lord of the Rings, but I cannot fathom why.

Okay, I shall be forward, that's how I prefer it but I wasn't sure since I've only read one erotica book in my entire life, the afore mentioned "A Rose In Winter" - and, for the record, I think your title is very promising. I may pick it up when I actually have money to afford it. Now the problem comes to hidng it from my family.

I have a story about a series of murders and my police detective think that whoever is doing all the murders frequents this BDSM club that his partner is a Dom at. I got to the sex scene and totally chickened out though I still have it saved somewhere. *lol* So, to write about. I guess.
Which brings me to your first reply, The concensus is that I just write it to help me get over it.

scarletpeaches

Banned

Dec 24, 2010

#12

Best thing to do is read widely in the genre. Read everything you can lay your mucky little paws on.

Okay, I'll admit I started writing my first erotica title on a dare, before I'd read much of the genre and before I'd even bought my ereader (99% of its contents are erotic romance stories). In fact, when I bought the ereader in February of this year, my first book was already on sub with the publisher which eventually bought it. So my reading history in the genre wasn't limited enough to stop me picking up on what I needed to know.

But then, I had read several novels at least. And I knew what I liked, both in literature and in the bedroom. I'd had sexual experience, too. From what I could remember...*cough*...anyway...

Seriously; the best advice is to read as much as you can in the genre you intend to write, especially if you, er...shall we say...lack the practical experience which I and other writers might rely on.

And don't be afraid to form your own opinions on what works. There are several well-known, successful, popular, huge-selling erotica authors out there whose works I cannot stand. Why? Because they write rape-labelled-as-BDSM, or M/M where the characters are chicks with dicks. Honestly, if they were any more hormonal they'd fucking menstruate.

And don't be afraid to fuck up. You'll make mistakes. If you don't make mistakes, you're not trying hard enough.

Boston Steve

Kind Benefactor

Super Member

Registered

Dec 25, 2010

#13

ELMontague said:
Good, but careful where you tread. The real life BDSM crowd will know when you're full of it.

singsebastian said:
Ummmm....with my BDSM Club, I figured that I could make up some rules. And I've done a little bit of research into the BDSM life style. But I know what you mean. I don't want people to get pissed because I wrote something wrong that my research didn't indicate.

As a member of the "real life BDSM crowd" I would say don't worry too much about writing something wrong in the sense that your fictional BDSM club differs from any that we have actually been in. We will definitely let you know, however, if you write something unsafe.

scarletpeaches

Banned

Dec 25, 2010

#14

Also, if I read any more 'rape masquerading as BDSM', I will burn down the author's house and eat their children.

Wayne K

Banned

Dec 25, 2010

#15

I'll bring the barbeque sauce

singsebastian

New kid, be gentle!

Super Member

Registered

Dec 25, 2010

#16

@Boston Steve,
That'd be cool. I am into safe and concensual stuff. Okay, I'm not nervous on that front then. thank you!

@Scarletpeaches and Wayne K,
I am not into Rape. Nope, nope and no!
I was almost raped when I was 19. I so do not have any sort of fantasies revolving around that or the need to write it. Nope. I love my characters to be in love and willing to do the deed with each other.

As for chicks-with-dicks -
Dudes, I hate that too. I read fan fiction in this genre and some of the horrible ones I've read has the MC- who is really tough and stuff - go around crying for no reason whatsoever! Its annoying. *flails*

I also try to write my males as manly as possible.

Because, they're still men!

scarletpeaches

Banned

Dec 25, 2010

#17

I definitely don't have a problem with rape fantasies. But rape-masquerading-as-BDSM makes me angry enough to hit someone. Or two someones. The author and the editor who offered the contract.

It happens far too often in erotica and I have no idea how it keeps getting past the gatekeepers.

singsebastian

New kid, be gentle!

Super Member

Registered

Dec 25, 2010

#18

scarletpeaches said:
I definitely don't have a problem with rape fantasies. But rape-masquerading-as-BDSM makes me angry enough to hit someone. Or two someones. The author and the editor who offered the contract.

It happens far too often in erotica and I have no idea how it keeps getting past the gatekeepers.

I know exactly what you mean.
While I like BDSM -from what I read, I dunno

- it seems clear cut in all the rules that I shall be adhering to in any sort of erotica romances I write. *nods*

I don't like that Rape-Masquerading-as-BDSM either. Its stupid and just another way to get around the rules. :rulez

:rulez

bearilou

DenturePunk writer

Kind Benefactor

Super Member

Registered

Dec 26, 2010

#19

singsebastian, you've gotten some really good advice. I'd like to echo what SP said above.

Just like any other writing endeavor, read widely. Erotica is not all the same. Sample what's out there and let your comfort levels come out in their own time.

[goes to sample more]

Synonym

Super Member

Registered

Dec 26, 2010

#20

Whatever you do, don't be afraid to ask questions! You're off to a good start already. LOL

You've gotten a lot of great answers already, so there's nothing for me to add. If you get stuck, or wonder 'does this work', just ask. K?

I think you'll find that there isn't anything too 'exotic', unless you veer off into the prohibited. (If you could figure out a way to portray an erotic scene with an alien that resembles an octopus and make it hot--go for it.)

Wayne K

Banned

Dec 26, 2010

#21

singsebastian said:
@Scarletpeaches and Wayne K,
I am not into Rape. Nope, nope and no!
I was almost raped when I was 19. I so do not have any sort of fantasies revolving around that or the need to write it. Nope. I love my characters to be in love and willing to do the deed with each other.
!

You'd be suprised at how many people (myself included) that are into the fantasy, that have been raped. It's not about pain and violence, its about extreme control.

That would be both sides BTW. Subs are always in control--dont let anyone try and convince you otherwise.

Sub has a safe word. Sub has control over whether there will be sex or not. Dom spends the entire time concentrated on not going to far, and what the sub wants.

Personally I wish I was a sub sometimes. I'd like to be in control for a while

Wayne K

Banned

Dec 26, 2010

#22

Oh, and chicks with dicks, is what I call, "One stop shopping" I love it

singsebastian

New kid, be gentle!

Super Member

Registered

Dec 26, 2010

#23

Wayne K said:
You'd be suprised at how many people (myself included) that are into the fantasy, that have been raped. It's not about pain and violence, its about extreme control.

That would be both sides BTW. Subs are always in control--dont let anyone try and convince you otherwise.

Sub has a safe word. Sub has control over whether there will be sex or not. Dom spends the entire time concentrated on not going to far, and what the sub wants.

Personally I wish I was a sub sometimes. I'd like to be in control for a while

Yes. I do know that. I've never done it, though. But I've looked at three sites on line that said the same thing about that and when I do my research I find three or more sources that say the same thing.

I think I'm a sub...but....I'll have to wait to find out.

Oh, and chicks with dicks, is what I call, "One stop shopping" I love it

hahahaha! well, strap-ons come in all shapes and sizes.

esat

Procrastinating again

Super Member

Registered

Dec 27, 2010

#24

You've gotten great advice from some pros so I won't echo it. But one thing I do want to remind you is...you can always use a pen name! So remember, if you can get yourself to put it down on paper, you don't have to admit to it to your nearest and dearest...unless you want to!

And on another note entirely...congratulations, Synonym! I was so excited when your story was picked to be in the Ravenous Romance Anthology!

singsebastian

New kid, be gentle!

Super Member

Registered

Dec 27, 2010

#25

esat said:
You've gotten great advice from some pros so I won't echo it. But one thing I do want to remind you is...you can always use a pen name! So remember, if you can get yourself to put it down on paper, you don't have to admit to it to your nearest and dearest...unless you want to!

And on another note entirely...congratulations, Synonym! I was so excited when your story was picked to be in the Ravenous Romance Anthology!

*lol*
I just have to make sure that it isn't one that my family all ready knows about. bwahahahaha.

Oh, cool, Synonym. That's so awesome!

and in my earlier post, I was talking about the safe word thing, not the Rape-Fantasy.

- sorry about that.

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