Erotica- How can people write it?

Josef
Write what you like and feel good about writing it.

I know of no compulsion that says you or anyone else has to write erotica.

Josef VonQuestenberg said:

So my question is... How can you write it?

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Easy. I'm not like you. I've done all the things you haven't done. I'm married to a wildly sexy woman. I'm 67, but I still love sex and think that everyone else should, too.

Besides, the world revolves around sex. It's the driving force behind everything. Wars are fought, as some dusty Greek or Roman said, 'because the women are watching'. Count the prominent politicians who risk and ruin their careers over a woman. Count the murders that pivot around love, or jealousy, or infidelity.

Stories of love and romance, however chaste, are still targeted at the man and woman getting into bed together and doing the nasty, even if entirely offstage.

In my case, it's not a matter of how can I write it, but how can I not write it? It's what life is about.

dangerousbill said:

Besides, the world revolves around sex. It's the driving force behind everything.

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This ^^^ It's easy to write about sex when you think sex is important and beautiful and fun and not dirty or particularly embarrassing. I love reading sex scenes, assuming they're a flavor of sex that appeals to me. I've discussed odd fetishes with strangers on the internet because sex-related topics appeal to me on an intellectual level, not just a gut one.

I write erotica because I like to write about realistic characters, and real people have sex. My stuff is slanted more toward romance, and in relationships between (or among, in the case of polyamory) consenting adults, sex is quite often part of a romantic relationship.

Then again, sometimes I just write erotica because the characters in whatever I'm working on decide they're horny.

I guess the answer to your question would be, because it's fun.

I write all the sex scenes in my books first. They are the ones that are the strongest since for me, it's stripping (hurrr, no pun intended) the characters back to their most basic emotional responses to each other. It's hard to hide what you're thinking or feeling if you're sexually aroused, and I like using sex to show different facets to a character, or to the relationship between characters.

I also agree with Dangerousbill. Much of life is based around sex - trying to get it, trying to sustain it, thinking about it, and so on. It makes sense to me that my books would reflect that.

Because I'm good at it

Wayne: Sex? Or writing Erotica

Couldn't resist, lol!

"Truth is, I've never once masturbated to anything on a screen, paper, or booklet."

So what if you have? It's no one's business. Are you trying to judge yourself though how you think others might judge you? That's impossible, you know...

I don't write erotica - but I've written some kinky stuff in the past and I did feel a tad exposed even though they were journal entries. I think writing it makes some of us feel more vulnerable. I think it can be liberating too - nothing like breaking through the barrier we use to judge ourselves - right?

It sounds like you're not comfortable with shared expressions of sexuality. If it's really important to you to write erotica, for some reason, I'd suggest that you START watching porn, and START jerking off to something on "screen, paper, or booklet." It doesn't make sense to try writing something that you don't understand or enjoy.

In terms of sharing what you write - it doesn't have to be shown to friends. That's pretty intimate, I'd say. Find an online site to post it and see what response you get, with the security of at least relative anonymity.

But, really - why do you want to write it? I'm not comfortable with graphic violence. I don't want to watch it in movies, I don't want to read about it in books. So I don't write about it, either. The world goes on without my efforts.

... everyone is different. Some like you are uncomfortable with sex scenes; others, with violent ones; others, with religious ones; etc, etc. I don't think you should force yourself to do something you're not into. At the same time you shouldn't make any value judgements, and you haven't here which is good!

Erotica in my understanding is related to porn in the sense that graphic accounts are given, but different in that the sex is part of a larger context. They're comparable, but not synonymous. I read a half-dozen erotic novels years back including one about an acclaimed opera singer and her French maid. It was definitely arousing, but backed by a solid story that was engaging.

The book was put out by Evergreen Press.* Good imprint if they're still about. Been awhile. (Actually, that book about the maid might've been porn. Though it had a solid story, there was lots of sex in it and I do mean a lot! Still an enjoyable read. So what does it matter

* A Grove Press imprint.

MissMacchiato said:

Wayne: Sex? Or writing Erotica

Couldn't resist, lol!

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I write from experience

Seriously.

Everything I write is based on someone or something I've done--that's why I write mostly memoir

This is a forum for and about erotic writing on the assumption of its basic validity as a genre. I would suggest posting queries about which genres are valid, positive etc in a more general forum.