erotica writers and real life sex

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Fruitbat

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The creative process vs. real life- I have a friend who has had practically no sex life for years yet writes erotica and erotic romance and quite a lot of it. Writing erotica vs. real life sex participation. Surplus, supplement, or substitute (or separate)?
 
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Wayne K

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Its weird because I write sexy scenes easily, but I have a hard time writing sex. Its a mental block.

As far as the question, I write what I know. Sex I know

I write drugs and insanity well too :D
 
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The creative process vs. real life- I have a friend who has had practically no sex life for years yet writes erotica and erotic romance and quite a lot of it. This baffles me, obviously. I would think.. well anyway, just wondering... Writing erotica vs. real life sex participation. Surplus, supplement, or substitute (or separate)?
Why obviously?
 

dangerousbill

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The creative process vs. real life- I have a friend who has had practically no sex life for years yet writes erotica and erotic romance and quite a lot of it. This baffles me,

A recent discussion on ERWA addressed this very subject, and it's surprising how common this is.

Similar, but even more boggling (to me) are the large number of women who write male homosexual erotica for a nearly exclusively female audience. I mean, it's a huge market (check out the e-erotica sell sites), written apparently without ground-truthing the sexual activity with actual male homosexuals. More amazing, women feel more comfortable reading M/M erotica written by women. Go figure!

I suppose it's a testament to the fertility of the human imagination.
 

jennontheisland

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This baffles me, obviously.
I would imagine that you are also obviously baffled that your friends who write murder mysteries aren't hiding bodies in the basement and the ones who write paranormal horrors aren't dealing with ghosts on a daily basis.

And as a general question:
Why the fuck is sex any different??
 

Fruitbat

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You are more than welcome to take anything I say personally, whether it was intended that way or not.
 

jennontheisland

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I can only assume that was meant for me. Hardly taking the fact that you can't separate fiction from reality personally. You're more than welcome to assume that I have regular threesomes with Vikings and Elves.
 
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I can only assume that was meant for me. Hardly taking the fact that you can't separate fiction from reality personally. You're more than welcome to assume that I have regular threesomes with Vikings and Elves.
You're more than welcome to assume I regularly screw vampires and shapeshifters.
 

Fruitbat

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Ummm, this was a general post about an observation I had and didn't quite know what to make of, not a fight or directed at any individual.
 
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jennontheisland

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You didn't know what to make of a writer who didn't regularly participate in the things she writes about?

Srsly?
 

jennontheisland

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How about you go into the fantasy forum, and ask about your friend who writes about a unicorn farm. I mean, how could she possibly write that?? She doesn't own unicorns!!

Or your friend who writes about serial killers. She's never so much as kicked someone!!

Or the guy down the block who writes children's stories from the point of view of fish? Never even been to the ocean!

Just how? How I ask you! How could they possibly do it??



Are you starting to see why sex is no different?
 
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Jersey Chick

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Vikings and elves and unicorns - oh my.

So many people assume that, in order to write about sex, you have to have a lot of it. And all kinds of it. I don't even write ero-rom (I write historical romance) and you should see the smirks I get about 'research.' It doesn't seem to happen much (in my experience) with any other genre (though now I am wondering how many bodies Agatha Christie must've buried over the years.)
 

Vespertilion

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Fruitbat, would it also baffle you to find out that many readers who enjoy Romance and Erotica also have "practically no sex life"? The brain is a sexual organ, your imagination always primed to transfer words and images right down your spine to a tightness in your gut, and unspool all the way through to excite even your capillaries.

Is it really obvious that a person who has practically no physical sex life wouldn't have a very rich one in her mind, and enjoy the process of transcribing those thoughts?
 
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Wayne K

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Fruitbat, would it also baffle you to find out that many readers who enjoy Romance and Erotica also have practically no sex life? The brain is a sexual organ, your imagination always primed to transfer words and images right down your spine to a tightness in your gut, and unspool all the way through to excite even your capillaries.

Is it really obvious that a person who has practically no physical sex life wouldn't have a very rich one in her mind, and enjoy the process of transcribing those thoughts?

I assumed you gals were loose.

How wrong was I?
 

Fruitbat

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A recent discussion on ERWA addressed this very subject, and it's surprising how common this is.

Similar, but even more boggling (to me) are the large number of women who write male homosexual erotica for a nearly exclusively female audience. I mean, it's a huge market (check out the e-erotica sell sites), written apparently without ground-truthing the sexual activity with actual male homosexuals. More amazing, women feel more comfortable reading M/M erotica written by women. Go figure!

I suppose it's a testament to the fertility of the human imagination.

Thanks Bill. Do you have a link to the ERWA discussion on it?
 

jennontheisland

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What the hell would I do with two cocks....

(I'm apparently much too used to writing about two cunts, I couldn't possibly imagine what to do with two of those)
 
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