I hope this isn't way off, but specifics about adult content didn't seem quite right for the general nonfiction board either. Any and all thoughts appreciated.
Thanks!
Thanks!
Last edited:
Question about nonfiction sex self-help book
- Thread starter Fruitbat
- Start date
The real question is salability. That's something a publisher decides in the end.
Write it well and no one will care if you're a professional in the field, but if it's similar to other books written by professionals it might.
You can sell this book, but as a non pro you'll need an angle. Make it a book that women will buy for their husbands as a gift. Men are a small audience. Salability is king.
Good luck
Write it well and no one will care if you're a professional in the field, but if it's similar to other books written by professionals it might.
You can sell this book, but as a non pro you'll need an angle. Make it a book that women will buy for their husbands as a gift. Men are a small audience. Salability is king.
Good luck
All right. As a man who was in that EXACT situation a few years ago, I feel compelled to respond. First of all, if you market it towards men, you're going to have to help make them feel like it's not their fault. I know that I thought I was doing something wrong in the relationship and it very well may have been (though I haven't had any complaints in my current relationship). Marketing it towards women is going to be more difficult, IMHO. I would think that they are looking for something that helps them realize WHY they don't want it and that's considering that they actually have a desire to fix the problem.
If this book came into my hands, I would probably read it. However, if my (now ex) wife wasn't interested in having sex with me, no matter what I came up with or learned from your book is going to help me. So, may I suggest going about it as a couples book? Give something for the men to practice, give something for the women to practice...or something like that.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can't pigeonhole something like this. It's a rather touchy subject (I once had a frying pan thrown at me when I brought it up), so you have to make sure that you're not attacking either sex. I've read some of the books and they tend to blame one or the other. But, if you manage to aim it towards being a mutual issue, it will be better served.
As Wayne said, however, it's ultimately the publisher's decision. If they don't like it, you'll never get it off of the ground. Now...on to your questions.
- Do you think it's enough of an idea, that there would be any interest?
Yes. I think that if it is written in a non-accusatory manner, it will.
- Do you think it's unsellable since I'm not a professional in the field? (I am a licensed MSW though).
Sincerely doubtful. But, you went through this and are willing to share your experiences with others. Does that not make you a quasi-professional?
- Should the target audience be men or women?
Both.
- Do you think the structure of it makes sense or is appealing?
Yes. There are a lot of people out there who want to 'fix' their sex life, but don't know how to go about it.
- Do you have any ideas for me to find a writing partner or crit group? I feel like it's kind of the same as Erotica writers. It's harder to find somebody to work with.
First, try meetup.com or something along that line. A lot of people have trouble finding people to be beta readers for their erotica, but you always have the AW forum in the worst case scenario.
-Anything else?
I wish you the best of luck and if you get published, I'm sure you'll save lots of marriages.
If this book came into my hands, I would probably read it. However, if my (now ex) wife wasn't interested in having sex with me, no matter what I came up with or learned from your book is going to help me. So, may I suggest going about it as a couples book? Give something for the men to practice, give something for the women to practice...or something like that.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can't pigeonhole something like this. It's a rather touchy subject (I once had a frying pan thrown at me when I brought it up), so you have to make sure that you're not attacking either sex. I've read some of the books and they tend to blame one or the other. But, if you manage to aim it towards being a mutual issue, it will be better served.
As Wayne said, however, it's ultimately the publisher's decision. If they don't like it, you'll never get it off of the ground. Now...on to your questions.
- Do you think it's enough of an idea, that there would be any interest?
Yes. I think that if it is written in a non-accusatory manner, it will.
- Do you think it's unsellable since I'm not a professional in the field? (I am a licensed MSW though).
Sincerely doubtful. But, you went through this and are willing to share your experiences with others. Does that not make you a quasi-professional?
- Should the target audience be men or women?
Both.
- Do you think the structure of it makes sense or is appealing?
Yes. There are a lot of people out there who want to 'fix' their sex life, but don't know how to go about it.
- Do you have any ideas for me to find a writing partner or crit group? I feel like it's kind of the same as Erotica writers. It's harder to find somebody to work with.
First, try meetup.com or something along that line. A lot of people have trouble finding people to be beta readers for their erotica, but you always have the AW forum in the worst case scenario.
-Anything else?
I wish you the best of luck and if you get published, I'm sure you'll save lots of marriages.
Last edited:
It sounds like a book about women, for women. Even if a man read it, he'd just be playing an elaborate guessing game (which he does most of the time, anyway!).
There's always a market for a book about sex, especially if it promises a new approach, and more rather than less. (I'm pretty sure no one's sold a book called, 'How to have a little more sex and be not as miserable.')
- Do you think it's unsalable since I'm not a professional in the field? (I am a licensed MSW though).
There's no requirement and not much advantage to formal qualifications. Lots of sex authors have MD or PhD after their names, but their books seem to be dominated by close-up drawings of sex organs, with little Latin labels on all the parts. I think people like a down to earth approach like that in Joy of Sex and its descendants. Readers are looking for ideas and inspiration, not medical advice.
- Should the target audience be men or women?
Woman are the major buyers of sex instruction books, perhaps followed by pubescent teenaged boys. I think it would be difficult to write a book to appeal to both sexes at once.
- Do you think the structure of it makes sense or is appealing?
I don't see much of a structure to your brief description, actually, but beware, too much structure will make it look like a textbook.
- Do you have any ideas for me to find a writing partner or crit group?
Unless you're lucky enough to link up with a similar-minded live writer, your best bet for finding a crit group or partner is at ERWA ( www.erotica-readers.com )
-Anything else?
The most readable and successful books in this genre are personal in nature and don't look like a recipe book. Collect case histories if you can, or (this is a big secret) make them up.
I recently came across this:
http://greatsexforhardtimes.com/about
Which looked like an interesting take.
I think it would be essential to make it a fun read. Take a look at some of the hip CRAFT books that are out at the moment. For instance there are a ton of knitting books are the market that read enjoyably while offering info at the same time.
You need to consider you mareket, which is going to be women, because, yeah most men won't buy it. Formatting it in a very modern, FUN, non-clinical way is essential. I think it should be something that someone would feel almost comfortable reading in the coffee shop.
Platform is a major deal for non-fiction authors, it's bigger than credentials. I think starting a blog with info would probably do more for you than anything else. There is a wealth of information, both for free and to purchase on the internet, in bookshops, and at seminars and conferences on platform building. If an agent knows you have a huge following, they know your book will sell. Even beginning to build a following is pretty important.
If the information you have works, and you can continue to generate more of it and present it in an appealing format, then people will listen to you. For nonfiction, you almost need the customer before the agent. Once you've got the customers, the agents almost fall over themselves to have you as I understand it.
http://greatsexforhardtimes.com/about
Which looked like an interesting take.
I think it would be essential to make it a fun read. Take a look at some of the hip CRAFT books that are out at the moment. For instance there are a ton of knitting books are the market that read enjoyably while offering info at the same time.
You need to consider you mareket, which is going to be women, because, yeah most men won't buy it. Formatting it in a very modern, FUN, non-clinical way is essential. I think it should be something that someone would feel almost comfortable reading in the coffee shop.
Platform is a major deal for non-fiction authors, it's bigger than credentials. I think starting a blog with info would probably do more for you than anything else. There is a wealth of information, both for free and to purchase on the internet, in bookshops, and at seminars and conferences on platform building. If an agent knows you have a huge following, they know your book will sell. Even beginning to build a following is pretty important.
If the information you have works, and you can continue to generate more of it and present it in an appealing format, then people will listen to you. For nonfiction, you almost need the customer before the agent. Once you've got the customers, the agents almost fall over themselves to have you as I understand it.
I think this is a terrific idea.
You can test ideas and get feedback that will guide the formation of your book, and even use your own material (and that of commenters, with permission). There is also a blog called 'aroundherfinger' which addresses a different aspect of sexuality, but the point is that the blog and the book are linked together. Each one draws the audience for the other.
http://www.aroundherfinger.com/
What a unique website DB!
There are some "Christian" sex toy shops you can find via the internet that may have blogs too. If you set up a blog, I would do a search for related mildly erotic or romantic themed blogs like that. Places that women might frequent. You can do guest posts, which cost you NOTHING, and will draw web traffic to your blog. A blog is a simple thing to set up, and you can commit to something as basic as one post a week and retain readers. Word of mouth is hands down the best advertising around, and within a few months, if your material is good, you will have traffic enough to approach an agent with stats.
You need to do some research on this, and look at the non-fiction areas of AW, and I bet they can tell you more. I think this sounds like a cool book and I wish you luck. My hubby would be happy if we could just keep the kids quiet long enough for more sex time!
There are some "Christian" sex toy shops you can find via the internet that may have blogs too. If you set up a blog, I would do a search for related mildly erotic or romantic themed blogs like that. Places that women might frequent. You can do guest posts, which cost you NOTHING, and will draw web traffic to your blog. A blog is a simple thing to set up, and you can commit to something as basic as one post a week and retain readers. Word of mouth is hands down the best advertising around, and within a few months, if your material is good, you will have traffic enough to approach an agent with stats.
You need to do some research on this, and look at the non-fiction areas of AW, and I bet they can tell you more. I think this sounds like a cool book and I wish you luck. My hubby would be happy if we could just keep the kids quiet long enough for more sex time!
By coincidence, I picked up the latest 'Wired' magazine from my mail stack and saw the article by Tim Ferriss on 'Body Hacking'. Wired 18.12 ('Tron' on the cover.)
He's done all sorts of experiments on his own body as part of his quest for fitness. But he has these things to say about sex:
"When you try to find out about female orgasm, you get into a lot of misinformation really quickly...So I figured, why not just do the tests?"
"I think most of the sex advice out there is bullshit. It's based on a book that was influenced by a book that was influenced by a book. There's no testing."
"The sex is right there in the title of my book, and most people jump right to that section."
There IS a market.
He's done all sorts of experiments on his own body as part of his quest for fitness. But he has these things to say about sex:
"When you try to find out about female orgasm, you get into a lot of misinformation really quickly...So I figured, why not just do the tests?"
"I think most of the sex advice out there is bullshit. It's based on a book that was influenced by a book that was influenced by a book. There's no testing."
"The sex is right there in the title of my book, and most people jump right to that section."
There IS a market.
It depends on how quickly you plan to publish, but a blog could help you find some test subjects.
You can do amazing things in six months if you have good material and present it well. A year is enough for your name to become pillow talk around the world.
You can do amazing things in six months if you have good material and present it well. A year is enough for your name to become pillow talk around the world.
I bought this and found it helpful, but honestly, you can probably find two dozen articles on "author platform building" with google.
http://www.amazon.com/Get-Known-Before-Book-Deal/dp/158297554X
I would post snippets related to your book but not directly out of it, links to interesting websites you might find. Get to know other bloggers in your community and let them do a guest blog, it will generate traffic. Do product reviews that you won;t even feature in your book, but things that women might consider buying, like that His and Hers KY pack they even sell at Walmart-is it any good? Worth the money? Do some polls, do a giveaway once a month (something small).
It will take time and work to do a blog, as much as working on a book, BUT if it generates a following it will translate into better sales, which is what having a platform is all about.People will buy the book because they already know your name from the blog and trust you.
People wouldn't buy a book from Joanna Kool "Talk Show Hostess", But they would absolutely buy a book from Oprah Winfrey. They KNOW her, you don't even have to list her cred's.
http://www.amazon.com/Get-Known-Before-Book-Deal/dp/158297554X
I would post snippets related to your book but not directly out of it, links to interesting websites you might find. Get to know other bloggers in your community and let them do a guest blog, it will generate traffic. Do product reviews that you won;t even feature in your book, but things that women might consider buying, like that His and Hers KY pack they even sell at Walmart-is it any good? Worth the money? Do some polls, do a giveaway once a month (something small).
It will take time and work to do a blog, as much as working on a book, BUT if it generates a following it will translate into better sales, which is what having a platform is all about.People will buy the book because they already know your name from the blog and trust you.
People wouldn't buy a book from Joanna Kool "Talk Show Hostess", But they would absolutely buy a book from Oprah Winfrey. They KNOW her, you don't even have to list her cred's.
Just a heads up: Be cautious of those herbs. Some of them can be toxic or at least unpleasant. It wouldn't hurt to research each one thoroughly before taking any. Yohimbine, for instance, is supposed to be an aphrodisiac, but in some people it causes extreme anxiety and a burning in the genitals. In the worst cases, it can mess up your kidneys. And never take chaparral. You can buy these herbs in health food stores, but that doesn't make them safe.
(and yes, I am a chemist by trade)
The best aphrodisiac is still confidence. A confident woman not only feels sexy, she looks, acts, sounds, even smells sexy. But we live in a society where industries get rich by making women feel insecure about themselves.
The FDA has different regulations on herbs, doesn't it? I don't think that the strengths are consistent, so you have to be cautious. That's why certain persons (like pregnant women or those taking lots of medications) are warned away from herbal supplements.
I'm not surprised about the red pepper, sorry if that is off topic. I had a terrible reaction to Capascin cream. It's supposed to be such a wonderful pain reliever. Also it does NOT wash off when you have a reaction-it's absorbed in. I felt like I had a terrible burn for days.
I'm not surprised about the red pepper, sorry if that is off topic. I had a terrible reaction to Capascin cream. It's supposed to be such a wonderful pain reliever. Also it does NOT wash off when you have a reaction-it's absorbed in. I felt like I had a terrible burn for days.
They've being trying to control herbs for years, but since they're natural products, they don't come under FDA jurisdiction. The FDA can give warnings, but it doesn't have to power to control herbs.