Comedy Cabaret Post Christmas, Hanukkah, Solstice, Festivus Let Down Thread

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Cella

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I'd like to bounce some ideas off you guys for the party;

What's a better amuse bouche...pan seared bacon covered scallops with mango chutney or hot wings?
 
JLCwrites

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​

An 80-year-old Italian named Cray goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape Cray is in and asks,' how do you stay in such great physical condition?'


I'm Italian and I am a golfer,' says old Cray, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a glass of vino, and all is well.'
​

'Well' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Father when he died?'


'Who said my Father's dead?'


The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Father's still alive. How old is he?'


'He's 100 years old,' says Cray. 'In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a little vino and that's why he's still alive. He's Italian and he's a golfer, too.'


'Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Father's Father? How old was he when he died?'


'Who said my Nono's dead?'


Stunned, the doctor asks, 'you mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather' s still living! Incredible, how old is he?'


'He's 118 years old,' says Cray.


The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?'


'No, Nono couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.'


At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married!! Why would a 118 year- old guy want to get married?'


'Who said he wanted to?'​
 
Haggis

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Red killed the thread earlier. She started talking about amuse bouche, and, well, you can imagine.
 
cray

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why would she strut right in here and moon us?
sheeez.
 

Cella

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:hi: Stew, :hi: Turkey!
Haggis said:
Red killed the thread earlier. She started talking about amuse bouche, and, well, you can imagine.
Click to expand...
Imagine this ---->:e2moon:









:D
 
regdog

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We don't have to imagine it, Red. Cray and Stew are shaking their's all over the place.
 
cray

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you can't prove that.


about me, that is.
stew's hiney is right up there.


eta: and right down there too.
 
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cray

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just don't shake it to hard....






and haggis,...
nice knowing you, pal.
say goodnight.
 
cray

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i've been exceptional with that sheeeeet today.
 
cray

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the only solution is to drink more and type less, luv.
Click to expand...


i'm dangerously close to doing that,....

i'm only one room away from the guinness.
 
Stew21

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I am also dangerously close to that. But I don't have a guinness in the next room. I may need to make a stop on my way home.
 
cray

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yes, you must!

my problem is that if i leave the office the little crays might attack. i may not make it back...
 
Stew21

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send mrs. cray a text. have her get a guinness for you and leave it outside the office door. tell her there's a reward if she does as she's told. use a smiley face...preferably the winking one.

make the situation work for YOU, my dear. If you play it right, you could hide out drinking alone for a couple hours!
 
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