Erotica Halloween Contest--Offer 3 Suggestions

We need ideas for three items that must be included in each Erotic Halloween Contest submission for this year. Maryn suggested that it be incongruous with erotica in order to make this a little more challenging. I like that idea.

How about three categories, pick one from each and post or PM your choices to me? (If you don't like my categories, suggest one of your own, by golly.)

Person. It could be someone specific---a famous or infamous figure, or, generic---Maryn's crying baby for instance.

Place. Same rules, specific but recognizable for everyone or generic. Say...the George Washington Monument or a farmer's market?

Thing. Be practical, whimsical or outrageous. Think of something common, famous or pick the least sexy item you can. Use your imagination.

Have your choices posted or sent to me by Thursday at 5 PM Central Time, at the latest. I'm off that day, so I'll have time to get the items listed into three polls for voting. By next Sunday we'll close the voting and have this decided so you can get creative. Or you can plow right ahead with an idea and figure out how to add the three choices later.

Man or woman up people...I need some ideas!

I pick...

person---Michael Jackson

place---middle of a deserted gravel road

thing---can of Green Giant green beans

No. I haven't been drinking.

Hmmm. Let's see. What could you do with these choices?

Stranded with a flat tire on an empty gravel road. Your only entertainment is your niece, a foul little girl who's overweight and mean as sin. While she whines that her Halloween haul wasn't up to it's usual standards this year, Michael Jackson's Thriller plays on the radio. One foot taps to the beat, or impatience, as you wait on AAA to find you and change the damned tire. What a time to have shoulder surgery and be incapacitated. At least you know how to change a tire, none of your girl-friends do.

Headlights pop over the hill, illuminating what had been puzzling vague lumps in a nearby field. Pumpkins? How appropriate. Your heartbeat picks up as you realize those headlights are too low to be a tow truck. Crap. Your eye travels towards your niece, an added responsibility, as the recent lurid headlines of crime in this area and how damned vulnerable you really are, run through your thoughts.

The niece rummages through her sacks of candy and indignantly waves a box in your face. "Sidewalk chalk? This sucks...", you ignore her rants and watch the car in the mirror stop behind yours. A figure breaks into the glare of the parked car's headlights and you sink even further into your seat. Christ help me. That's one huge man. Every horror story of a woman stranded on Halloween clamors in your brain at once, paralyzing coherent thought.

A flashlight blinds you momentarily and the single-minded chatter from your niece finally trails to a halt. A tap at the window jump-starts your brain as you notice pertinent details. A badge. A uniform. A Sheriff's deputy. Thank God.

Yep. I could do something with this. Of course the rummage in the trunk for the tire iron disturbs an escaped can of green beans from the last trip to the grocery store. Big black guy? Perhaps the cop, maybe the tow truck driver. He's familiar, driving a tow-truck is his second job. He works at the airport full-time. The female MC is a UPS driver and recognizes him from picking up shipments.

Hah. I love this.

ETA: That was the first three choices, obviously. Aliens? Trunk full of crotchless panties? A freakin' guitar? Yeah, three choices are more than enough. Nine is pretty tough. LOL

No you didn't. I did. Sue me for stereotyping.

Besides, gotta get a guy in there somewhere for the smexy part, don't I?

Um. Well, I guess it doesn't have to be a guy either. Sheez. Forget I said anything.

You guys...

Any more ideas besides what's for dinner and new uses for chopsticks?

Oh God. An upright vacuum? I have a feeling that may make the final cut too. That's a challenge. LOL

Thanks for all your contributions so far. If you're still thinking, don't wait too long. 5 PM Central Time tomorrow is the deadline.