Sexual Tension

my thoughts

JuliePgh said:

I'm having trouble with sexual tension (or rather my characters are).

Can there be sexual tension when characters are mad at one another? Or when they don't trust one another? Oh heck yeah. Sometimes that's when sexual tension is able to run amok because they are in a heightened state of emotions. Trust doesn't necessarily get involved in sexual tension.

Beyond a basic attraction, what must exist for sexual tension to work? Passion, desire, arousal.

How do you keep up the sexual tension when the MCs separate and reunite, on and off? I don't see why they would lose sexual tension through separation unless they were seeing someone else. Being separate can also heighten sexual tension when a couple is reunited. Just ask persons involved in long distance relationships.

Can sexual tension be lopsided or one-sided? For example, if the hero is very attracted to and is focused on the heroine, but the heroine is oblivious to the hero's feelings, can there be sexual tension? The only person feeling sexual tension would be the one who is sexually attracted to the other. If the person is oblivious to the other person's desire for them, there would be no tension between them.

Thank you!

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JuliePgh said:

I'm having trouble with sexual tension (or rather my characters are).

Can there be sexual tension when characters are mad at one another?

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Absolutely - that can be the best kind! Seriously - some of the most fun to write about.

JuliePgh said:

Or when they don't trust one another?

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Even moreso.

JuliePgh said:

Beyond a basic attraction, what must exist for sexual tension to work?

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Alcohol.

JuliePgh said:

How do you keep up the sexual tension when the MCs separate and reunite, on and off?

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Don't have either of them get laid by anyone else.

JuliePgh said:

Can sexual tension be lopsided or one-sided? For example, if the hero is very attracted to and is focused on the heroine, but the heroine is oblivious to the hero's feelings, can there be sexual tension?

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Ummm...sure. Just a bit of insight: it if moves, your hero is attracted to it. "Tension" -at least to him- is not being able to have sex with the heroine immediately and every five minutes thereafter. Any acts of heroism are just ways of guaranteeing future nookie.

Unless of course your hero is named "Chastity Man" or something...in which case you'll probably want the authorities to check out what -or whom- he's keeping in his basement.

JuliePgh said:

I'm having trouble with sexual tension (or rather my characters are).

Can there be sexual tension when characters are mad at one another? Or when they don't trust one another?

Click to expand...

Good God yes. Anger in such an instance would be all this energy between them showing itself in different ways.

The trust issue - well, not so keen on that personally, but it could exist.

JuliePgh said:

Beyond a basic attraction, what must exist for sexual tension to work?

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Delayed gratification.

JuliePgh said:

How do you keep up the sexual tension when the MCs separate and reunite, on and off?

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That in itself would keep them tense, would it not?

JuliePgh said:

Can sexual tension be lopsided or one-sided? For example, if the hero is very attracted to and is focused on the heroine, but the heroine is oblivious to the hero's feelings, can there be sexual tension?

Thank you!

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I'd be very careful of writing anything like this. If it's lopsided, it could make the guy look like a stalker, or a bit stupid at best. And if she's oblivious, I wouldn't have any respect for a heroine who's not aware of something right in front of her face.

Ah, I get that. My current WIP has similar trust issues in it.

As for how to effect sexual tension? In my opinion, I'd like to drum this into every writer: PAY ATTENTION TO THE DETAILS.

And so, so much is in what's not said. Subtext and body language, when done 'right', is sublime, exquisite, painful.

JuliePgh said:

How does one effect sexual tension? The sideway glances, small touches/brushing up against one another, internal commentary and flirtatious dialogue? What about when they're not together?

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For when they're not together, you'll probably need to be in one or the other character's heads. That way the reader can see how the character reacts to things, such as notes/phone calls/emails pictures of the sexual interest. As Scarlett said, little things. Does she jump when her email chimes a new message, hoping it is from him? Does he kill himself getting to the phone every time it rings hoping she might be calling? Do certain places/images/smells send shivers down her spine because they remind her of the last time she was with her lover/potential lover?

And then too, just because a couple is separated doesn't mean they are not communicating. Texts, emails, phone calls, Instant messengers -- all can be highly erotic and sexually charged. Pay attention to the pauses in the conversation, word-choice, etc. And don't forget laughter. Who laughs at what and when is important, as is how it makes the hearer feel.

And yes, from experience, distance can do a LOT to heighten attraction. At a distance, you forget all the annoying little things they do, and only remember how badly you want them to touch you. Absence may not always make the heart grow fonder, but it certainly makes the body hornier!

When they're mad at each other or hate each other can be the best sexual tension. The snide comments, barbed remarks and angry glares can heat up the room more than physical contact ever could. Then there's the jealousy...

But when they're apart it can be, like Bookewyrme said, all a matter of the flirty texts, the way your heart leaps at a text or email in case its from him, seeing other couples being all cutesy making you remember the way they used to touch them, their smiles, the way they kiss.

And the one sided sexual tension is possible but making it seem like he's not just horny coz she's hot will be hard, you could have it so that he keeps making innuendos and she's just constantly clueless and missing the point...

If I'm genuinely angry at someone I don't want to touch them. But it's easy to feel falsely angry at someone you lust for because it's easy to get frustrated - maybe they don't notice you or you're not their type, maybe you can't have them for some external reason, maybe you've forbidden yourself to go for people who do X stupid thing and your idiot love interest just has to do that one thing you hate... they'd be perfect If Only something or other was slightly different, and in your fantasies you imagine what it would be like if that thing was different.

I don't think anything is necessary besides basic attraction and either a reason they can't have sex, or a reason that even though they have sex there's a step farther that they really want to go but can't.

Sexual tension can certainly be one-sided at the beginning, and I often enjoy reading the thoughts of someone who is in unrequited love. If it's one-sided it's not technically tension between them, but as long as the reader knows about it and feels it along with one of the characters it works as tension. I don't personally think it's necessary to worry too much about writing stalkerish characters because that type of character has a legitimate place in erotica, as does the innocent clueless virgin.