What is Love?

[Diana Hignutt]

Wasn't sure where to ask this...it has philosophical, political, biological, scientific, religious, and sociological undertones, really. But, this seems the best place to me. If a mod disagrees, move it to whereever you deem best. No problems.

So, what is Love? Is it a change in consciousness caused by involuntary hormonal production...a chemical illusion of feeling? Is it something that exists in some Platonic idea state, a higher emotion that takes control of consciousness? Is it the height of humanity, or a lingering misunderstanding of lust that dooms us to jealousy and violence? Is it some diety's or the universe's itself's longing for unity? Does consciousness itself exist in another dimension (as some of the new physics might suggest) and love is thereby a function of this extra-dimensionality?

What say you?

[scarletpeaches]

Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me, no more.

[ejaycee]

Whether it's just a chemical reaction, or instinctive, or spiritual, or what have you, I don't really mind.
It just is.

[poetinahat]

What... is... Love?

How do you say delicious?
How do you say delovely?
How do you say delectable?
How do you say devine?
How do you say degroovy?
Dewith it?
How do you say Deee-Lite?
We’ve been trying to find out
Is there really such a thing?

[scarletpeaches]

Love is not a noun; it's a verb.

[Diana Hignutt]

Love is not a noun; it's a verb.

It's both, isn't it? Noun usage: A mother's love for her child is a wonderful thing. Verb: I love you. See. It's both. It's like magic almost.

[Alpha Echo]

Love is not a noun; it's a verb.

As the country song goes "It's something that we do."

But I see what you mean Diana. I think it can be a noun also. I have love for my husband...but I also actively love him through the way I live my every day life.

It's a feeling that I literally feel fill up my heart, or my chest. When I focus on it, it's so filling that it's hard to breathe.

But I love through hugging my stepdaughter, teaching her, reading to her, holding her hand, putting her needs before my own every single day...

[Paul]

and I'd like to know the meaning of life whilst we're at it. Preferable in one succinct sentence.

[DeleyanLee]

So, what is Love? Is it a change in consciousness caused by involuntary hormonal production...a chemical illusion of feeling? Is it something that exists in some Platonic idea state, a higher emotion that takes control of consciousness? Is it the height of humanity, or a lingering misunderstanding of lust that dooms us to jealousy and violence? Is it some diety's or the universe's itself's longing for unity? Does consciousness itself exist in another dimension (as some of the new physics might suggest) and love is thereby a function of this extra-dimensionality?

What say you?

I say that it's all those things, and probably more, and the English language is vastly incompentent for having only one word to encompass the entire realm of love and loving.

[EFCollins]

I say that it's all those things, and probably more, and the English language is vastly incompentent for having only one word to encompass the entire realm of love and loving.

See? This has been my argument for years. That's why I don't really believe "love" is all there is. I use the word love because there IS no other word. I say we invent more.

[scarletpeaches]

We don't need more. We can just steal the four Greek words.

[EFCollins]

Well, yeah. We could do that instead. That works.

[DeleyanLee]

How long has it been since the English language mugged the Greek language? Or was that a seduction? I don't remember, it's been so very long.

[Wayne K]

In accordance with my new avatar: Love is never having to say you're sorry.

I don't know who wrote that line, but they were dreaming.

[Shakesbear]

Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind
Therefore wing'e Cupid is painted blind.

[scarletpeaches]

Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind
Therefore wing'e Cupid is painted blind.Whoever said that was clearly married to an ugly chick.

[Shakesbear]

Whoever said that was clearly married to an ugly chick.

Either that or the man has serious sight problems ...

[Alpha Echo]

Whoever said that was clearly married to an ugly chick.

Haha. You sound like my husband. That's something he'd say.

[jennontheisland]

How long has it been since the English language mugged the Greek language? Or was that a seduction? I don't remember, it's been so very long.
Forced seduction?

[Maxx]

Wasn't sure where to ask this...it has philosophical, political, biological, scientific, religious, and sociological undertones, really. But, this seems the best place to me. If a mod disagrees, move it to whereever you deem best. No problems.

So, what is Love? Is it a change in consciousness caused by involuntary hormonal production...a chemical illusion of feeling?
What say you?

Chemicals aren't illusory. If the chemistry is there so is the love. Voluntary hormonal production would be the more illusory/masturbatory
version of love. Love is that involuntary chemical explosion in the brain
that completely recenters motivation on a single other person.

[Shadow_Ferret]

Love stinks.

[Wayne K]

Yeah, yeah

[Shakesbear]

Love stinks.

Is that when you get a bad chemical reaction?

[TerzaRima]

The Greeks made nice distinctions among eros, philia, and agape--there should be different words to describe the feeling for a lover vs that for one's friends or one's community.

[scarletpeaches]

There is. It's storge.

[Wayne K]

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I like this definition

[scarletpeaches]

The above passage only refers to agape.

[Shadow_Ferret]

Love is a state of vulnerability resulting in giving full control over your heart to someone you trust and hoping that they never break it.

[Wayne K]

The above passage only refers to agape.

I interpret it for myself. I think there's a lot of wisdom in the bible if you innterpret it well

[Susie]

Love is that tingly feeling you get every time your mate serves you choco. ice cream in bed :D

[Shadow_Ferret]

Love is that tingly feeling you get every time your mate serves you choco. ice cream in bed :D

Naw, that just means he spilled it.

[Alpha Echo]

I like this definition

Me too.

[AMCrenshaw]

... fundamental respect.

[benbradley]

We're no strangers to love... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0)

Oops, sorry.
In accordance with my new avatar: Love is never having to say you're sorry.

I don't know who wrote that line, but they were dreaming.
Dunno if this is the original source, but I recall it from "Love Story" both the novel and the movie.
I interpret it for myself. I think there's a lot of wisdom in the bible if you innterpret it well
The King James has it as charity (http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-13.htm) instead of love. It goes to show the changing nature of words, and also may give a better clue of what the passage meant, though of course not as well as learning the original languages.

But yes, the word is one of those with big long entries in the dictionary with a bunch of different meanings. Do catch-all definitions work? I heard this one long ago, "caring for another more than you care for yourself" but that later became the definition of codependency, a "disease" that needed to be "treated" by professionals.

[Susie]

Naw, that just means he spilled it.

LOL, I do believe you're right, Shadow. It can get very messy! :D

[Diana Hignutt]

I heard this one long ago, "caring for another more than you care for yourself" but that later became the definition of codependency, a "disease" that needed to be "treated" by professionals.

Yeah, I'm definitely happily codependent on my one true love...my wife. And she me. When we go out, I'm afraid it will be rather like the end of Hero.

There's something to this. Both ways. Love = Voluntary Codependency?

[Ruv Draba]

Knowing in whose happiness our joy resides.

[DeleyanLee]

Love is a state of vulnerability resulting in giving full control over your heart to someone you trust and hoping that they never break it.

If this is the real definition, then I'll count myself lucky that I've never fallen in love in a romantic sense. No one I've ever met that I could dare trust that much.

Love as in caring about someone to inconvenience myself (sometimes massively) for their sake, that I feel and can grok, but that kind of trust is beyond my comprehension.

[scarletpeaches]

Loving someone else in no way means you must neglect your own self.

If it's to be reciprocated, I must be a whole person, worthy of them. And for that to happen I must take care of myself first.

[Diana Hignutt]

Loving someone else in no way means you must neglect your own self.

If it's to be reciprocated, I must be a whole person, worthy of them. And for that to happen I must take care of myself first.

I totally agree. Who wants some self-neglecting sycophantic sap? I want a strong, whole person.

[scarletpeaches]

If you weren't already married, I'd have you myself.

You wear a dress better than a manatee, and that's the truth!

I mean you wear a dress better than a manatee wears a dress, not better than you wear a manatee...aw, you know what I meant...

[Diana Hignutt]

If you weren't already married, I'd have you myself.

You wear a dress better than a manatee, and that's the truth!

I mean you wear a dress better than a manatee wears a dress, not better than you wear a manatee...aw, you know what I meant...

Likewise, my dear.

I'll have to try and wear a manatee now, just to see how one looks on me.

[Alpha Echo]

There's something to this. Both ways. Love = Voluntary Codependency?

Hmmm, I think I like that. Because it's true, for us as well. Hubby and I have discussed it at length, actually. How we're both independent people, but in looking for the right relationship, we wanted to find someone on whom we could lean, someone we could be dependent upon to some degree. We like getting home from work at the same time and spending every evening together, whether we're sitting on the couch reading or fishing.

I know I always think of him first and put his wants, needs, and desires before my own. I see him do the same thing every day with me.

[Alpha Echo]

I totally agree. Who wants some self-neglecting sycophantic sap? I want a strong, whole person.

Yes, this is true too.

But I think part of - certainly not all of it - taking care of yourself is doing so in order to take care of the other person. Does that make sense?

[Diana Hignutt]

But I think part of - certainly not all of it - taking care of yourself is doing so in order to take care of the other person. Does that make sense?

It does to me.

[Melisande]

In accordance with my new avatar: Love is never having to say you're sorry.

I don't know who wrote that line, but they were dreaming.

I think it was Erich Segal, from his book, and also the movie 'Love Story'.

[Melisande]

To me love means to put another person's happiness before your own; to give without expecting to get back; to try and anticipate wishes and fulfill them; to wish everything good upon the person you love whether child, husband or friend.

[benbradley]

Love is ...

... saying no when asked "Does this manatee make my butt look fat?"

[Chloe_Lanai]

Love is him watching you pass a human through the birth canal.
Love is you watching him pass a kidney stone.
Love is being able to forget those images and still...
Make Love.

[INTPwriter]

Love is not a noun; it's a verb.

This is what I feel love boils down to. Love is something you do, not something you feel. That's why people have so many problems in relationships, because the moment they no longer feel that tingling inside they say they no longer love the person and move on to the next.

[Ken]

... when another's needs are as important as ones own that's love.

[kdnxdr]

In the Bible, the scripture says : "God is love."

Given that formula, anything that has to do with love, by one degree or another, it has to do with God, something of God's essence.

There are many things that humans call or reference as to being love that fail as a representative of love. That doesn't mean that love fails or that God fails.

[INTPwriter]

It's both, isn't it? Noun usage: A mother's love for her child is a wonderful thing. Verb: I love you. See. It's both. It's like magic almost.

I agree with ScarletPeaches in that it is a verb and not a noun. I think that's why people have such a problem defining it because they try to associate with feelings. Feelings change, not only within ourselves, but from person to person. When a person says, "I know exactly how you feel," do they really? No. It's impossible to know exactly how someone feels. So, love as a feeling would vary so much between people that in the end, could it really still be considered "love"? If we say we love someone because of the butterflies and mushy stuff we feel, what is it when we wake up and have a bad day where those feelings aren't there? Do we still love that person? Not by the noun definition. I believe that's why so many people give up on a relationship. When that mushy feeling isn't there, they say they no longer love that person. The butterflies come and go when I'm with my wife. If I gave up on the relationship when I didn't feel all giddy inside, it would've been over a long time ago and thrown away a good relationship. But, there's no other person I'd rather be with because I want to love her and I've dedicated myself to loving her (a verb). If we love someone by the verb definition, it takes on a more realistic definition. We put action into it and not our ever-changing feelings.

[Kent]

I think it's Erich Segal who deserves the blame for writing the quixotic line, "Love means never having toa say you sorry."

[Dana W]

"Love" is a need within ourselves which we project onto others. We make them up. No wonder they disappoint us.

[Dana W]

... when another's needs are as important as ones own that's love.

Or it could also be a crutch for those who haven't learned the knack of being whole in and of themselves. Where does love end and dependency being?

[TamaraLynne]

This thread got me thinking and also had me diving within myself to see if I might possibly be a whole person on the inside. Not to mention as a child to be taken from my parents and placed within foster homes ...it gives a clear idea of unconditional love verses conditional in a family situation .

When I start to think about my marriage and if it sides more with unconditional verses conditional love and if the overall essence feels the same as it did when I was a child...to compare it to my definition of conditional verses unconditional.
I think and know we take delight it pleasing each other and the more I please my husband the more he wants to please me and sometimes things in life creep up that puts one or the other doing the trying to please part..this could be construed as conditional part of love. But is also a reaction that occurs in unconditional love.

It is the overall essence that surrounds us of feeling safe. That we are exactly where we are suppose to be. It is also the feeling that together you are going to create something wonderful...something not seen but felt. It is seeing the vulnerable,and the strength and the weakness and even the undesirable in someone and embracing all of it knowing that it mirrors our own comings and short comings.The person just fits. They make you feel that you have room to grow and be yourself.Not to mention that your sharing your thoughts and desires with someone and the sound of life is not an empty echo. This falls in the unconditional arena.

I can look back and shudder at someone who has broken my heart and eroded my trust and left me hurt ,cold,wounded,feelings of loneliness, where I had to pick myself up and survive. To wipe my tears from my heart so that I could see clearly.
Even though I might not like the person anymore who hurt me...I can still love them because I know what their vulnerable child heart encased in an adult body looks like. But I stay clear of them ...I can love them but not be in love with them..and I can do this from a distance.

Euphoric feelings are just chemicals released to make us feel in love...those chemicals fade...they don't entirely disappear :) they come and go within a relationship that swims in unconditional love.

So........I guess you could compare me to a broken vase that has been glued back together...I just hope some of the pieces have not been shattered beyond repair.

I guess its easier to know what love is by first knowing what the absence of love feels like.

Can we honestly be at a point in our life where we are whole..completely whole in and of ourselves? I think we can be happy with who we are because all our experiences define us...and we can stand tall and think we are molded just fine...but in the end we are all probably broken vases put back together in some way.

But just my thoughts.........