Thanks for the advice so far. I found a section to post for a critique (around 900 words). This is my first post of my work. I wrote this part so long ago and have read it so often the words seemed etched in granite. Maybe posting will help shake them loose.
A little background: Marvin, the POV character, has just arrived in the city to become Lord Gideon Kestoney's squire. Gideon, also known as Master Gideon since he's a master mage, has tentatively agreed to the squireship but wants to talk to Marvin first. This scene is Marvin's interview and is set in Master Gideon's library.
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Homesickness tweaked at Marvin as he stepped into a library rivaling some of the larger chambers of the Archives, but the feeling vanished in his delight. While the Archives called for whispers so as not to disturb the solemnity of the ages, this room called for laughter and elated shouts of discovery. The shelves stretched high to the vaulted ceiling. Most held books, but ancient tomes vied for space with children’s toys and games, scrolls and parchments contended with padlocks and clocks, and every shelf overflowed with a seemingly haphazard jumble of artifacts. If knowledge weighed more than simple paper the shelves would have collapsed by now.
Several worktables held unfinished contraptions, mostly locks and boxes, while a drawing table held stacks of pictures he itched to flip through. Another area devoted to magic had a permanent protection circle inscribed on the floor and shelves packed with magical instruments and mysterious boxes and vials marked with magical runes. He recognized instruments to study the stars and weather but most of the tools were a mystery to him. The peculiar tingle of magic shivered up his arms as he passed. Must be strong magic for him to feel it from several feet away, and he smothered a grin at the thought he might be able to watch the master mage at work creating new and grander illusions.
Everywhere he looked he saw books and light. He heartily approved of the unburning magical candles especially in such a grand library. At Veritas Keep, the archivists woke in cold sweats from nightmares of fire. Perhaps he’d suggest they adopt something similar next time he saw them. Wrote to them, rather. He had to keep reminding himself he wasn’t at Veritas anymore.
A huge desk dominated the corner nearest the fireplace surrounded by enough everglowing candles to make the light thick as daylight. The sides of the desk were carved in an intricate pattern of trees and leaves, a flat topped forest surmounted by a haphazard layer of scrolls and parchments and writing materials. A porcelain teapot and teacup delicately painted with leaves rested on a small table out of spilling distance of the papers but within easy reach of the desk’s occupant. Master Gideon sat behind the desk in an overstuffed tall backed armchair that had seen better days. The green brocade still showed hints of a leaf pattern but the arms were worn smooth from years of use and some of the seams showed signs of mending.
Master Gideon absently waved Marvin to the armless wooden chair planted in front of the desk while he continued to read Marvin’s letter of introduction, scanning the pages as if wringing nuance from each pen stroke. Marvin gingerly sat down, trying not to let the clatter of his chain mail disturb the mage’s concentration, but for all the notice Master Gideon gave him he might as well not have been in the room. Marvin tried to find some hint of Uncle Gideon in the man sitting before him but even the brief hint of warmth he had shown in the kitchen had vanished like a memory.
The edge of the chair dug into the backs of his legs as he clenched his hands in his lap. The conversation he was about to have would decide his future. His fate. His destiny. He forced himself to relax before he toppled the chair over. So much for calm. Right now, right here, this was the test. ArmsMaster Fiske’s words ran through his mind. When the only thing between you and death is a piece of steel, be very certain that steel contains no hidden flaws before you put your faith in it. Marvin wasn’t steel but he was still a weapon, a living weapon trained to use steel and honed to obey, and before his liege lord could put faith in him he had to prove he contained no hidden flaws. Duty demanded he be tested. Was he ready? Of course he was ready, Father wouldn’t have sent him if he wasn’t ready. He was Marvinistral Tarrandel and he was as ready as his teachers could make him.
Decided, he let his gaze wander while he waited for Master Gideon to grant him his attention. He tried counting the number of books on the shelves but kept losing track. An enormous collection of keys hung from hooks over the fireplace. Perhaps they opened locks here at MapleSea, though he could hardly imagine any building needing so many locks. The window on the other side of the desk showed a lovely view of the fountain filled with red roses and the path twining into the trees, very convenient for Master Gideon to watch for visitors from the comfort of his desk.
As his gaze wandered back to the shelves to figure out if the stuffed owl was actually breathing, he realized Master Gideon was staring at him. Father’s letter rested on the papers on top of the desk, while the mage lounged in his chair with hands clasped over his chest waiting like a cat eyeing a particularly juicy mouse and considering the perfect spot to strike, a pose Marvin recognized from across a myriad of game boards at Veritas. He had no idea how long he’d kept his potential liege lord waiting due to his inattention and was trying to frame an apology when Master Gideon spoke.
“Let me guess,” he said, his deep voice holding a trace of humor. “Your first question is whether I've read all these books.”
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