[Thanks for relocating the question, Ruth. You first reply is exactly what I was talking about.]
I'm no expert, but I think it comes down to where your book would be shelved at the local Barnes & Noble. Does it contain enough sex that it would be in erotica, or does it contain so little that it would be a good fit with paranormal thrillers?
It sounds as if you believe, or at least hope, it's the latter, in which case the thing to do is get thee to the bookstore to buy a fat handful of paranormal thrillers, read or skim each one, and determine the amount and heat level of their sexual content. If yours has way more, it could be a hard sell to agents repping paranormal thrillers. If it's similar or only a little hotter, then go for it.
Maryn, great at the non-answer