A question about screenplays

Again, this links into what I was saying in your other thread. It's all about the writer's individual voice. Some people would put 'too late,' others wouldn't. There's no right or wrong. Yes, technically it's against 'the rules' but those are guidelines for beginners, not law. Toy Story was written by pros who've developed a unique writing style and an individual voice over dozens of screenplays. They're comfortable writing embellishments like that and it shows - it works nicely and doesn't get in the way. That's the trick; to know when to use them and not to overdo it.

A script is merely a blueprint to a movie. It needs to effectively communicate to the readers, directors, producers, and actors what needs to happen in the movie. Too late. Is what I consider Artistic Flair. You need some of it to keep it from being boring. For example:

Ted walks into the room.

Ted stops.

Ted looks out the window. The moon is out, it's full.

Ted's wife, CLAIR walks from behind the curtains wraps her arms around him.

TED
Beautiful night.

Technically it's sound. All the basics are there, but it's boring as heck to read. No one wants to read an entire script like that. It has no life. Your words need to inspire the reader.

Ted wanders through the room, touching on a few memorable objects before dropping his coat on the floor. The moonlight shimmers through the curtains.

He parts the curtains and gazes at the starry filled sky winking back at him.

His wife, Clair, bathed in the moonlight, seductively saunters up to him and throws her arms around him.

TED
Beautiful night.

It's pretty much the same scene. But one has far more life and visual umpf to it. (Granted it's rough and thrown together but I think it makes my point.)

plantpot said:

Sorry if I have posted this in the wrong section. I wanted to ask about what to include in scripts? I have an example from Toy Story.

HAMM
Pardon me. I hate to break up the
staff meeting, but THEY'RE HERE!
Birthday guests at three o'clock!

WOODY
Stay calm, everyone!!

Too late. The toys PANIC and stampede over Woody towards
the bedroom window, leaving him alone on the floor.

I have read you put only what is needed in a script. Could you remove 'Too late.' or leave it as it adds color? I mean it is not needed to understand what is going on.

Click to expand...

Okay, what you need to understand is this.

What you need to put in a script is whatever is necessary to sell the script.

Even when you are talking about an assignment -- that is, someone has hired you to write the script as an adaptation of something else -- every draft you write, every rewrite you submit is, in substance a "sale" - because when they stop loving what you've submitted, when they stop being passionate and involved and enthusiastic and "continually* enthusiastic about each and every new version of the script --

-- you are out.

I know that the common description of a script is that it is a "blue print" for a movie.

It isn't. Think of those beautiful architectural drawings -- or those fantastic models they build showing what the finished building is going to look like, complete in its landscape, with the roads and the little trees and the little people and all painted and looking far more finished and beautiful, probably, than the finished building will probably ever look.

That is what a screenplay is.

You aren't interested in creating some detailed technical thing about where the pipes are going to go.

What you want to do is to create, in the minds of the prospective buyers and makers of the movie, a *vision* of what the finished movie will be. Just as that architect's drawing or model creates that vision in the mind of the prospective builder -- the screenplay creates that vision -- you want them to see that unmade movie, to see the actors speaking those lines, to see the scenes unfold on the big screen -- feel the emotions, see the set pieces.

And whatever you have to do to create that feeling, within the limits of the screenplay form (which is that you have to keep things short and to the point) in terms of using the tools of prose -- do it.

NMS

clockwork said:

Again, this links into what I was saying in your other thread. It's all about the writer's individual voice. Some people would put 'too late,' others wouldn't. There's no right or wrong. Yes, technically it's against 'the rules' but those are guidelines for beginners, not law. Toy Story was written by pros who've developed a unique writing style and an individual voice over dozens of screenplays. They're comfortable writing embellishments like that and it shows - it works nicely and doesn't get in the way. That's the trick; to know when to use them and not to overdo it.

Click to expand...

Some damn fine advice, that.

If I may defend the "Too late." choice. Not that it needs to be defended by the likes of me. But I love this stuff, so...

I submit to you that, in fact, "Too late." IS in the movie. Here's why:

There are, at the very least, two ways you can go when a character or characters are doing something to solve their sticky dilema and the bad guys (or complication) show up to ruin their day:

1. So close. Characters dive/run/duck/etc. a fraction of a second before the baddies come around the corner. See Mr. Anderson's escape sequence at the beginning of The Matrix; and

2. Too late. Characters are busted, and we now have to deal with the mayhem that ensues.

Both are fantastic tools to use to build suspense and throw rocks at your fine protagonist(s). "Too late" tells the film makers that this isn't one of those holy-shit-he-almost-got-caught shots. It's one of those ensuing mayhem shots.

An interesting thing to note from the Toy Story use of "Too late." is the technique of addressing in the action what was uttered in the dialogue. I say try it out and see how it works for your piece.

DUDE
(running)
I really should run more.

He ain't kiddin'. Dude sports an impressive, bouncing spare tire in his overly tight jogging suit, sweats like a pig and has progressed about fifty feet from the starting line.


Have fun.

Yep, you need to evoke some sort of feelings with your...I suppose they're stage directions. It's the only time you get to use your writer's voice.

Read a lot of scripts. Read one, and then watch the movie.

At least once a week. Once a day if you can manage it.

It's the best way to get a feel for what should be in a script.

http://www.mypdfscripts.com/category/screenplays

http://scriptcollector.blogspot.com/

http://www.screenplaydb.com/film/all/


These script books are good too, and a library near you probably has one or two of them:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0743419340/?tag=absolutewritedm-20


http://www.amazon.com/dp/0446679828/?tag=absolutewritedm-20


http://www.newmarketpress.com/category.asp?id=40