COMMA SPLICES and Other Elongated Sentences
There’s nothing wrong with a long sentence when it’s grammatically correct. Sometimes it’s the best choice for a particular part of a particular work.
Long sentences which shouldn’t be that long fall into three types. It doesn’t matter if you can name them, as long as you can identify and correct them.
A comma splice is a sentence which is two independent clauses--complete sentences all by themselves--joined with only a comma. Examples:
A fused sentence is one which is two independent clauses--each a complete sentence--joined into one with no punctuation or connecting word. Examples:
Comma Splices and Fused Sentences can be fixed the same few ways.
A run-on sentence correctly joins dependent and/or independent clauses with punctuation and/or connecting words--when there is not a reason for joining them, such as a single unifying concept. It’s up to the author to decide how much sentence is too much sentence, or whether there’s a single concept which includes the whole sentence. Just know that readers’ eyes start skipping ahead at four lines of printed page.
Example:
Though Ben normally jerked off to Professor Ng, the most delicate creature he could imagine, this morning in the shower he’d fantasized about his Chem Lap partner, a horsy girl so shy he had to lean close to hear her, which he did because she was totally carrying him on the labs, as he never seemed to make the time for the assigned chapters and just did the labs on auto-pilot, absorbing nothing rather than reinforcing the reading Professor Ng assumed her students did, a mistake in the lower-level courses except for the brown-nosing students from overseas, especially the Asians, none of them with Jennifer Ng’s fragile beauty, those bones small as a bird’s, likely to snap with the vigorous sex Ben imagined.
Maryn, anti-run-on
There’s nothing wrong with a long sentence when it’s grammatically correct. Sometimes it’s the best choice for a particular part of a particular work.
Long sentences which shouldn’t be that long fall into three types. It doesn’t matter if you can name them, as long as you can identify and correct them.
A comma splice is a sentence which is two independent clauses--complete sentences all by themselves--joined with only a comma. Examples:
- Jake and Skeet were lovers, they were coolly professional in public and hot in private.
- The time for condoms had passed, the pregnancy test strip read ‘yes.’
- Eliana wanted him more than she wanted air, waiting was killing her.
- Professor Ng was the most delicate creature Ben could imagine, jerking off to her was the norm for him now.
- Emma was through giving Marguerite sex advice, the woman never listened anyhow.
- Sally’s sketches of cocks filled several notebooks now, months had passed without a life model to pose.
- The way to Sam’s heart wasn’t through his stomach, beer and her cooking had made it bulge larger than his heart ever was.
A fused sentence is one which is two independent clauses--each a complete sentence--joined into one with no punctuation or connecting word. Examples:
- Jake and Skeet were lovers they were coolly professional in public and hot in private.
- The time for condoms had passed the pregnancy test strip read ‘yes.’
- Eliana wanted him more than she wanted air waiting was killing her.
- Professor Ng was the most delicate creature Ben could imagine jerking off to her was the norm for him now.
- Emma was through giving Marguerite sex advice the woman never listened anyhow.
- Sally’s sketches of cocks filled several notebooks now months had passed without a life model to pose.
- The way to Sam’s heart wasn’t through his stomach beer and her cooking had made it bulge larger than his heart ever was.
Comma Splices and Fused Sentences can be fixed the same few ways.
- Link the clauses with a semicolon, if they are closely related.
- Jake and Skeet were lovers; they were coolly professional in public and hot in private.
- The time for condoms had passed; the pregnancy test strip read ‘yes.’
- Eliana wanted him more than she wanted air; waiting was killing her.
- Professor Ng was the most delicate creature Ben could imagine; jerking off to her was the norm for him now.
- Link the clauses with a comma and a coordinating conjunction and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet. Careful, other conjunctions (however, therefore, then, also ) can create a new kind of mistake.
- Professor Ng was the most delicate creature Ben could imagine, and jerking off to her was the norm for him now.
- Emma was through giving Marguerite sex advice, for the woman never listened anyhow.
- Sally’s sketches of cocks filled several notebooks now, but months had passed without a life model to pose.
- The way to Sam’s heart wasn’t through his stomach, yet beer and her cooking had made it bulge larger than his heart ever was.
- Separate the clauses into two sentences if they don’t need to be a single sentence.
- Jake and Skeet were lovers. They were coolly professional in public and hot in private.
- The time for condoms had passed. The pregnancy test strip read ‘yes.’
- Eliana wanted him more than she wanted air. Waiting was killing her.
- Professor Ng was the most delicate creature Ben could imagine. Jerking off to her was the norm for him now.
- Emma was through giving Marguerite sex advice. The woman never listened anyhow.
- Sally’s sketches of cocks filled several notebooks now. Months had passed without a life model to pose.
- The way to Sam’s heart wasn’t through his stomach. Beer and her cooking had made it bulge larger than his heart ever was.
- Rewrite the sentence’s two independent clauses as a single independent clause. This isn’t always possible, of course.
- Jake and Skeet were lovers, coolly professional in public and hot in private.
- Unable to stand waiting much longer, Eliana wanted him more than she wanted air.
- Ben normally jerked off to Professor Ng, the most delicate creature he could imagine.
- The way to Sam’s heart wasn’t through his stomach, bulging larger than his heart ever was thanks to beer and her cooking.
- Rewrite the sentence to turn one independent clause into a dependent clause.
- Since Jake and Skeet were lovers, they were coolly professional in public and hot only in private.
- The pregnancy test strip read ‘yes,’ therefore the time for condoms had passed.
- Emma was through giving Marguerite sex advice, since the woman never listened anyhow.
- Sally’s sketches of cocks filled several notebooks now, although months had passed without a life model to pose.
A run-on sentence correctly joins dependent and/or independent clauses with punctuation and/or connecting words--when there is not a reason for joining them, such as a single unifying concept. It’s up to the author to decide how much sentence is too much sentence, or whether there’s a single concept which includes the whole sentence. Just know that readers’ eyes start skipping ahead at four lines of printed page.
Example:
Though Ben normally jerked off to Professor Ng, the most delicate creature he could imagine, this morning in the shower he’d fantasized about his Chem Lap partner, a horsy girl so shy he had to lean close to hear her, which he did because she was totally carrying him on the labs, as he never seemed to make the time for the assigned chapters and just did the labs on auto-pilot, absorbing nothing rather than reinforcing the reading Professor Ng assumed her students did, a mistake in the lower-level courses except for the brown-nosing students from overseas, especially the Asians, none of them with Jennifer Ng’s fragile beauty, those bones small as a bird’s, likely to snap with the vigorous sex Ben imagined.
Maryn, anti-run-on
