How To?

dclary · Apr 7, 2010

Ok, this might be odd.

I'm writing an erotic urban fantasy, and my wife says if I can't make the sex scenes amazing, no one will read it -- which makes perfect sense.

My question is... Are there any actual.... Primers out there that explain *how* to write good sex? Or is it very much simply "read a lot and pick up on it."

For me, I've read... entirely too much stroke fiction to know exactly what the difference (if any) is between that and good erotica. Also, the stuff I've read has been clearly geared toward the adolescent/young adult male, and I'm trying to titillate the ladies, so are there tutorials on gearing your smexy-talk to arouse the female imagination?

DeleyanLee · Apr 7, 2010

The best advice that I ever got on writing sex scenes was to focus on the conflict in the scene (it's still a scene, after all) and the emotions more than the plumbing.

Great advice--but it's also why I don't write Erotic Romance anymore. Writing the plumbing is SO much easier.

sunandshadow · Apr 7, 2010

It's helpful if the sex scene is accomplishing something - making a character realize something about themself or their relationship, or making them commit to something they were resisting, or decide to tell the truth where they were keeping secrets (or the other way around, decide they can't possibly tell the truth because they couldn't bear losing the relationship), or let their guard down allowing the intimacy of the relationship to grow to a new level...

MargueriteMing · Apr 9, 2010

DeleyanLee said:
The best advice that I ever got on writing sex scenes was to focus on the conflict in the scene (it's still a scene, after all) and the emotions more than the plumbing.

Great advice--but it's also why I don't write Erotic Romance anymore. Writing the plumbing is SO much easier.

Eh, doesn't have to be about conflict, it could be about characterization. If you aren't writing erotica, it SHOULD be about more than just sex.

nkkingston · Apr 13, 2010

Personally, I like to choreograph it like a fight. Know where they are and what they're doing (and with sex, where their limbs are - nothing breaks the tension like an accidentally disolcated leg!). Be very aware of their surroundings, but only bring them in to the story when they physically bump into them. Stick to one PoV. Lots of inside-the-skin, lots of emotions. Don't get over thinky - they're too busy to be really thinky. Is our PoV proactive or reactive? Is the climax a matter of winning or reconciliation? Why are they fighting/fucking?

If I'm honest, I learnt to write fight scenes by writing about sex. May have skewed my view a little.

Captcha · Apr 13, 2010

I agree with the above, and I'll add that I think it's good to give reactions, as well - it's not just what the characters do, it's how the actions make the characters feel. POV can be tricky, but if you can describe the physical reactions of at least one of the characters, it makes it easier for me to get into the scene.

In more general terms, yes, probably you'd want to read quite a bit, and analyze what works and what doesn't. You're probably writing for a female audience, so your wife could be an invaluable (and fun!) resource for giving you feedback.

veinglory · Apr 18, 2010

I don;t know of any good tutorials, but writing sex is really no different from writing anything else. Be imaginative, specific and evocative and it will turn out fine.

dolores haze · Apr 18, 2010

dclary said:
My question is... Are there any actual.... Primers out there that explain *how* to write good sex? Or is it very much simply "read a lot and pick up on it."

Yes, read a lot of erotica, but there are also a couple of books I know of that might be helpful:

How to Write a Dirty Story by Susie Bright
The Joy of Writing Sex by Elizabeth Benedict

Good luck!

How To?

dclary

Unabashed Mercenary

DeleyanLee

Writing Anarchist

sunandshadow

Impractical Fantasy Animal

MargueriteMing

nkkingston

Bemused Girl

Captcha

veinglory

volitare nequeo

dolores haze

international guttersnipe