I am starting this thread at the suggestion of Ruv in the Present Time Awareness thread. It came up in that thread that I used to be a fairly Orthodox Jew up until recently. Anyone who has seen my posts in this forum and even in others is probably aware of that. I walked away from it not too long ago, and Ruv thought it would be interesting if I explained why and maybe fostered some discussion about it. So if this is uninteresting or otherwise stupid, blame him. 
The best place to start would be what propelled me into orthodoxy, because I didn't grow up that way. I decided to become orthodox several years ago during a free trip to Israel. Before the trip, I didn't really know how to classify myself, but I definitely thought orthodoxy was a bunch of bologna. During the trip, however, I experienced some stuff that I couldn't explain, and the feeling in that country is a very spiritual one. Surrounded by all those people who seemed to know very clearly what the answer was, I was taken in and caught up in it all. I came home 100% orthodox.
I think that my experiences are pretty well represented in this graph, which I present courtesy of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, a great web comic:
So, fast forward to why I walked away. I guess it's a combination of things. My belief in God never really jibed with Orthodox belief. I always viewed "God" simply as being the universe and nature at large--maybe not necessarily a conscious, free-willed being, but more of a collective consciousness made up of everything in the universe. Science and mathematics seemed to me the language of "God" and our feeble attempts to understand how the universe works as getting closer to that from which we ultimately come.
Orthodox Judaism essentially requires one to believe in a separate, non-physical entity that not only is capable of thought, but does think and acts deliberately in the world. It is a philosophical problem in most religions of course why there is suffering, and the answer is simply that our concept of justice does not equate to God's vision of all the universe and all time.
This never made sense to me. Viewing God as some sort of a person who is screwing around with people to teach them lessons or otherwise amuse himself just seemed like an immature understanding of how things work. The more I started to question this and couldn't find answers that made sense, the less faith I had in the God portrayed by Western religions. The Pantheistic view of "God" made far more sense to me, so it wasn't long before I started to view the daily routine of an Orthodox Jew as pointless. I went down to praying twice a day instead of three times, then to not praying at all. I stopped keeping the super strict kosher laws and eventually ate out at a non-kosher restaurant. I took back up meditation to replace praying, and funny enough, I feel closer to "God" now than I did when I was Orthodox.
I still think that Jews have a certain level of spirituality, but I think that it is based on how we are raised as opposed to a difference in our "soul" or something like that. We are raised to believe in a Higher Power, whether we follow the commandments or not, so we just are more in tune with our spiritual side. This may or may not be something natural, I don't know. I also still believe in God, but I don't really like that word. The word implies certain things that do not match my beliefs, but I don't have another word to use.
I just realised how long this is, and I hope it wasn't too boring. I'm totally open to discussing it or answer questions, friendly or not. So if you're curious, just ask.
The best place to start would be what propelled me into orthodoxy, because I didn't grow up that way. I decided to become orthodox several years ago during a free trip to Israel. Before the trip, I didn't really know how to classify myself, but I definitely thought orthodoxy was a bunch of bologna. During the trip, however, I experienced some stuff that I couldn't explain, and the feeling in that country is a very spiritual one. Surrounded by all those people who seemed to know very clearly what the answer was, I was taken in and caught up in it all. I came home 100% orthodox.
I think that my experiences are pretty well represented in this graph, which I present courtesy of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, a great web comic:
So, fast forward to why I walked away. I guess it's a combination of things. My belief in God never really jibed with Orthodox belief. I always viewed "God" simply as being the universe and nature at large--maybe not necessarily a conscious, free-willed being, but more of a collective consciousness made up of everything in the universe. Science and mathematics seemed to me the language of "God" and our feeble attempts to understand how the universe works as getting closer to that from which we ultimately come.
Orthodox Judaism essentially requires one to believe in a separate, non-physical entity that not only is capable of thought, but does think and acts deliberately in the world. It is a philosophical problem in most religions of course why there is suffering, and the answer is simply that our concept of justice does not equate to God's vision of all the universe and all time.
This never made sense to me. Viewing God as some sort of a person who is screwing around with people to teach them lessons or otherwise amuse himself just seemed like an immature understanding of how things work. The more I started to question this and couldn't find answers that made sense, the less faith I had in the God portrayed by Western religions. The Pantheistic view of "God" made far more sense to me, so it wasn't long before I started to view the daily routine of an Orthodox Jew as pointless. I went down to praying twice a day instead of three times, then to not praying at all. I stopped keeping the super strict kosher laws and eventually ate out at a non-kosher restaurant. I took back up meditation to replace praying, and funny enough, I feel closer to "God" now than I did when I was Orthodox.
I still think that Jews have a certain level of spirituality, but I think that it is based on how we are raised as opposed to a difference in our "soul" or something like that. We are raised to believe in a Higher Power, whether we follow the commandments or not, so we just are more in tune with our spiritual side. This may or may not be something natural, I don't know. I also still believe in God, but I don't really like that word. The word implies certain things that do not match my beliefs, but I don't have another word to use.
I just realised how long this is, and I hope it wasn't too boring. I'm totally open to discussing it or answer questions, friendly or not. So if you're curious, just ask.
