Kill em ,or write em out?

lucidzfl · Mar 24, 2010

I have a character that, when I started writing him, I thought would be fun and interesting. He had cool characteristics and a nice back story, but as the story progressed, I realized he just had nothing to do...

Now, I'm adding another character into the mix. A guy who as of about 10,000 words ago, I had no clue even existed. I didn't even have a name for him. Now he's a huge help to the protag and is going to help save the day. (I had to name him)

So here's the question. Should I bother killing this char? (I don't care if he lives or dies, why should the reader) Or should I just go back, write the dialog he has as a single over the phone conversation and then never mention him again, and remove all references to him from the rest of the MS?

DeleyanLee · Mar 24, 2010

Can you combine the two characters?

lucidzfl · Mar 24, 2010

DeleyanLee said:
Can you combine the two characters?

Nice idea but definitely not. Character 1 is a jewish QA engineer who my MC calls right after he finds out he was framed.

The other character is a Colonel working with the CIA as a liason to DHS and is trying to track down the MC.

The dialog/intentions of the chars is completely different. The colonel doesn't even come into contact with the MC until about 38K words in.

Chris P · Mar 24, 2010

Only you know if he works for your book or not. I'd keep him until the last possible moment, and see if there was anything interesting I could do with him in the meantime, provided that having him doesn't bog down the action. If he starts to detract from what's going on, then pretend he never existed.

10trackers · Mar 24, 2010

I like killing off my secondary (and main) characters. That being said, I usually don't bother with characters neither I nor my protagonists have formed a bond with. I feel characters like that (without emotional attachment/depth, if you will) weaken the story, but that does depend on the story you're writing and the genre.

Maybe you can find another purpose for him, since you have created a nice backstory and cool characteristics for him and it's a shame to see those go to waste?

DeleyanLee · Mar 24, 2010

I'd finish the draft and see what shakes out, personally. You never know what you might need later on.

If, on the read-through of the final, the guy still doesn't pull his own weight, I'd probably take out those things that make him a more important character and make him a walk-on not to be cared about. Much easier than deleting him entirely and then trying to figure out who to give all the stuff he did/said to.

lucidzfl · Mar 24, 2010

Part of the problem is I've got nothing for the guy to do.

I have my MC, I have the love interest (with him), he's got an AI that can talk out loud, and this jewish nerdy guy.

At first I wanted to write him because I have a good friend this guy seems like, but all the dude does now is follow around the guy and the girl and the robot and, maybe, once per chapter say "Gosh this is bad." or "You sure you trust her?"

No depth and no character. The guy went nowhere. Now, I'm throwing in this colonel who's going to try and help them escape, and this guy I totally connect with.

So I just don't know if I feel like juggling five characters in the same place (They're all in a car together and huddled together) especially when one has the personality of day old bread.

10trackers · Mar 24, 2010

I see what you mean *nods*

Also, the risk of killing him off is that he does seem like typical cannon fodder from your description, thus clichéd. So in this case I would vote for taking him out, or getting him something to do.

DeleyanLee · Mar 24, 2010

lucidzfl said:
Part of the problem is I've got nothing for the guy to do.

I have my MC, I have the love interest (with him), he's got an AI that can talk out loud, and this jewish nerdy guy.

At first I wanted to write him because I have a good friend this guy seems like, but all the dude does now is follow around the guy and the girl and the robot and, maybe, once per chapter say "Gosh this is bad." or "You sure you trust her?"

No depth and no character. The guy went nowhere. Now, I'm throwing in this colonel who's going to try and help them escape, and this guy I totally connect with.

So I just don't know if I feel like juggling five characters in the same place (They're all in a car together and huddled together) especially when one has the personality of day old bread.

From what you're saying, I'd probably go back right now and write him out totally.

Maybe he'll spark in self-defense as you're erasing his existence.

lucidzfl · Mar 24, 2010

Thanks for the feedback 10trackers. In addition, my novel is, while adult, meant to be sort of fun and breezy. I'm trying NOT to kill off people that there might be any attachment to.

A few bad guys die, a few random people die. I don't want it to be too serious of a book, so I almost feel like just cutting him out of the book after his opening conversation would be fine. ( I only need his original conversation because he's the one who puts my MC in touch with the girl who then comes with him )

10trackers · Mar 24, 2010

Just a thought, is there any other way he could meet/get in touch with that girl? Personally I like to steer clear of characters ex machinae that just serve one purpose. They can work, but sometimes they're just very transparently a tool to get somewhere.

Can't they meet online? Run into each other? Respond to each other's ads?

dgiharris · Mar 24, 2010

My two cents is, if killing him enhances the story or gives depth to the antagonist or the particular dangers of a certain situation, then sure, kill him.

Otherwise, let him fade into obscurity. Besides, never know if you'll need him for the sequel

Mel...

lucidzfl · Mar 24, 2010

10trackers said:
Just a thought, is there any other way he could meet/get in touch with that girl? Personally I like to steer clear of characters ex machinae that just serve one purpose. They can work, but sometimes they're just very transparently a tool to get somewhere.

Can't they meet online? Run into each other? Respond to each other's ads?

The MC is a programmer. She's a security expert (Hacker). My mc would not know someone like her. The other guy puts her into contact. Its not a love interest, its a, I just got framed, the cops are after me, kinda thing.

10trackers · Mar 24, 2010

Fair enough

So you have a good reason for that guy to be there at that point in the story, which is all that matters.

Hedgetrimmer · Mar 24, 2010

DeleyanLee said:
From what you're saying, I'd probably go back right now and write him out totally.

Agreed. How does a character who says little and does less, but is supposed to be the MC's sidekick, even make it in a manuscript?

Ms Hollands · Mar 24, 2010

lucidzfl said:
Part of the problem is I've got nothing for the guy to do.

No depth and no character. The guy went nowhere. Now, I'm throwing in this colonel who's going to try and help them escape, and this guy I totally connect with.

I think, possibly, your answer is in what you wrote. I don't know your story so I might be way off try, but you said he's got nothing to do. So...

Can he go from being helpful to detrimental for the MC? Can he get so bored that he finds some hobby and takes it to the extreme (booze, drugs, befriending homeless people, bible bashing, phone-sex addict) - something that's acceptable in moderation by most people, but would cause problems along the way of your story when your character overdoes his hobby?

seun · Mar 24, 2010

I'd lose him for your current story but maybe bear him in mind for a different tale.

LuckyH · Mar 24, 2010

I would keep him, I’ve only read the few words you’ve written about him here and I already feel sorry for him. We’ve got quite enough swash buckling heroes in the world, full of charm and wit, who never put a foot wrong; don’t leave out the little people, they matter too. Perhaps he’s got a secret?

Lydia Sharp · Mar 24, 2010

DeleyanLee said:
From what you're saying, I'd probably go back right now and write him out totally.

Hedgetrimmer said:
Agreed. How does a character who says little and does less, but is supposed to be the MC's sidekick, even make it in a manuscript?

My thoughts exactly.

If you pictured your novel as a movie, and you saw this character hanging around with nothing to do, what would you think? It would get annoying after a while, even if he had a few lines of dialogue here and there. If he's not really contributing to the story, don't put him in there to begin with.

Jane Poirot · Mar 24, 2010

It depends--can you make the death fit into the plot? Or would it feel random and out-of-place and feel more like an excuse just to kill off a one-dimensional character? If you can make it work, then by all means kill him; if he really has no depth, then the reader won't exactly miss him.
However, if the death would feel out-of-place, simply give him a task that would be important to the story, but take him out of the spotlight. Like maybe as a driver.

dirtsider · Mar 24, 2010

I say, write him out gracefully. Limit him to the phone conversation. You might not even have to do that, just limit the conversation to your MC's end of things. But keep him for another story, even one of his own. You never know when he'll be needed in another novel.

Lydia Sharp · Mar 24, 2010

LuckyH said:
I would keep him, I’ve only read the few words you’ve written about him here and I already feel sorry for him. We’ve got quite enough swash buckling heroes in the world, full of charm and wit, who never put a foot wrong; don’t leave out the little people, they matter too. Perhaps he’s got a secret?

No, not every character has to steal the show, so to speak, but I don't think that's the real issue here. My thinking is, the author has no interest in this character anymore, so why should anyone else?

lucidzfl · Mar 24, 2010

Wow thanks again for the comments guys.

April: The entirety of this story takes place in around 48 hours. Its a very, very quick book. So there's no time for him to develop any character altering aspects.

Hedge: Thats a valid question. The way I write is I sit down with a plot, and get a general idea of the characters. I then plug them into the plot. This guy started out as the liason to the seedy computer underbelly. And then he went nowhere. I'm one of those guys who takes characters, just names on a page, with backstory, etc, and let the character grow out of it. Whereas Eugene (the guy in question) proved useless, and ultimately pointless, Alduous Wright turned out to be exceptionally interesting and a guy I want to keep around. At this point, I have realized my characters tell me if they want to be in the story. Eugene doesn't

lucidzfl · Mar 24, 2010

Lydia Sharp said:
No, not every character has to steal the show, so to speak, but I don't think that's the real issue here. My thinking is, the author has no interest in this character anymore, so why should anyone else?

Exactly. I always let the characters let their true selves shine. Eugene, such as he was, had nothing to do. Everyone else kept stealing the scene from him. If I were Eugene I'd be asked to be dropped off at the next bus stop, and I'll call you in a few days and see if you're still alive.

I am definitely thinking about just limiting his presence to a phone conversation and then never mentioning him again.

Based on his profile, he is a cowardly bastard. He'd probably have never met my MC in public after his picture was shown on the news as someone guilty of treason in the first place.

bettielee · Mar 24, 2010

sounds like you know what you want to do, then.... if you aren't into him, then scale him back or get rid of him.

I just wanted you to know I care enough to post in your threads.

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