OPENINGS: More Than Human by Theodore Sturgeon

Kosh · Feb 26, 2010

I already mentioned the late Theodore Sturgeon twice in this forum, here's his opening from his acclaimed 1953 novel, More Than Human:

THE idiot lived in a black and gray world, punctuated by the white lightning of hunger and the flickering of fear. His clothes were old and many-windowed. Here peeped a shinbone, sharp as a cold chisel, and there in the torn coat were ribs like the fingers of a fist. He was tall and flat. His eyes were calm and his face was dead.

I have no way of knowing how close this was to his early drafts, but Sturgeon demonstrates techniques I can't be conscious of when writing and have a hard time fitting in during revisions.

Metaphor. It's there in the very first sentence. It carries into the next with a description of "many-windowed" clothes. We get two similes before arriving at
two "straight" sentences for contrast.

Contrast and variation is what I struggle with most. When I shift my sentences around for variety in rewrites, it always seems obvious and breaks the flow. Here, I only noticed it the first time I wrote it down for a writing exercise.

Your thoughts?

blacbird · Feb 26, 2010

I can't address your issue with your own writing, without seeing an example of that. But this is truly a fabulous lead, and proof that you don't have to blow something up in the first sentence to get a reader's attention. There's other stuff quietly going on here, too, notably the first clause: "The idiot lived in a black and gray world . . ." That isn't even strictly descriptive, more evocative of vague mood, and the reference to the "idiot" is an instant grabber. The main point here is that any reader who wouldn't want to read the next paragraph is probably deceased. I've read short work by Sturgeon, and think he's fabulous, but I haven't read this. Now (damn you) I'll have to.

caw

Jamesaritchie · Feb 26, 2010

I'm a flat out sucker for anything and everything by Theodore Sturgeon, so I'm definitely biased here. Even when I don't like a particular piece of his writing, I still love it. His was always a magic name to me, along with such names as Heinlein, Asimov, Clarke, Bradbury, etc. They started me reading as a very young lad, and I flat out love Sturgeon.

MacAllister · Feb 26, 2010

Sturgeon is one of my hands-down favorite writers, too. If you read that paragraph aloud, listen to the sound built into the words, and the rhythm and pacing. He's so very much in control of every sound and every syllable.

blacbird · Feb 26, 2010

MacAllister said:
If you read that paragraph aloud, listen to the sound built into the words, and the rhythm and pacing.

Great advice, and everyone should follow it. How much you want to be that Sturgeon (and Bradbury, for that matter) did this regularly?

caw

backslashbaby · Feb 26, 2010

I don't think the last line lives up to the rest of it (she says, ducking):

His eyes were calm and his face was dead.

I really love everything until that part. This line doesn't give me the same brilliant picture the others did. I'm sure the next paragraph would get awesome again, so no biggie. But am I crazy?

"Tall and flat," OTOH, feels like it might be kind of a technological description, which would be my guess as a theme starting (black and grey, flickering... flat). Otherwise I might go 'huh?' at that one a bit, too.

I could be crazy, so don't mind saying so

I've never read this author, btw.

blacbird · Feb 26, 2010

I think the last line of that paragraph was perfect.

caw

Cranky · Feb 26, 2010

I've not read any Sturgeon yet *ducks flying tomatoes* but this has me wanting to read more. It's just flat out fantastic work. I love the similies, and I get a very vivid mental picture of this guy. I'm interested in him just because of the way he's described here. We even get a brief glimpse into his inner world, too.

Shutting up now. Must go put this on my TBR pile.

SirOtter · Feb 26, 2010

blacbird said:
Great advice, and everyone should follow it. How much you want to be that Sturgeon (and Bradbury, for that matter) did this regularly?

caw

I'd bet he did. Ted had a wonderful speaking voice, and seemed to enjoy reading his stuff aloud as much as all us fen loved hearing him back in the 70s. It was always the highlight of any con, for me anyhow, to talk to him or hear him read. Nice man, magnificent writer.

I happen to have the program for the 1978 Kublai Khan in Nashville handy. Ted was guest of honor that year. I picked it up just now and turned to his bio page that he autographed for me. Nothing fancy, just his signature and the odd symbol he used, a capital Q with an arrow through it. I used to know what it meant, but have long forgotten. I noticed that yesterday, 2/26, would have been his 92nd birthday.

Happy birthday, Ted. I miss you, wherever you are.

SirOtter · Feb 26, 2010

blacbird said:
I think the last line of that paragraph was perfect.

caw

Best line in the paragraph. It's an incredible book.

Ted once came in second in a writing contest. He lost to Graham Greene. Pretty damn impressive, I'd say.

backslashbaby · Feb 26, 2010

Fair enough

Lady Ice · Feb 27, 2010

Wonderfully morbid opening.

eyeblink · Feb 27, 2010

SirOtter said:
the odd symbol he used, a capital Q with an arrow through it. I used to know what it meant, but have long forgotten.

"Ask the next question."

He also gave us Sturgeon's Law - "Ninety percent of everything is trash."

Libbie · Feb 27, 2010

MacAllister said:
Sturgeon is one of my hands-down favorite writers, too. If you read that paragraph aloud, listen to the sound built into the words, and the rhythm and pacing. He's so very much in control of every sound and every syllable.

Word up. Sturgeon is the serious biz.

Maxinquaye · Feb 27, 2010

I love the paragraph, but I wouldn't say it's an opening - for me. I need a couple more. It's well crafted, and it would get me to the next paragraphs of the opening - which is quite a long one too.

Men turned away from him; women would not look, children stopped and watched him. It did not matter to the idiot. He expected nothing from any of them. When the white lightning struck, he was fed. He fed himself when he could, he went without when he could. When he could do neither of these things he was fed by the first person who came face to face with him. The idiot never knew why, and never wondered. He did not beg. He would simply stand and wait. When someone met his eyes there would be a coin in his hand, a piece of bread, a fruit. He would eat and his benefactor would hurry away, disturbed, not understanding. Sometimes, nervously, they would speak to him; they would speak about him to each other. The idiot heard the sounds but they had no meaning for him. He lived inside somewhere apart, and the little link between word and significance hung broken. His eyes were excellent, and could readily distinguish between a smile and a snarl; but neither could have any impact on a creature so lacking in sympathy, who himself had never laughed and never snarled and so could not comprehend the feelings of his gay or angry fellows.

He had exactly enough fear to keep his bones together and oiled. He was incapable of anticipating anything. The stick that raised, the stone that flew found him unaware. But at their touch he would respond. He would escape. He would start to escape at the first blow and he would keep on trying to escape until the blows ceased. He escaped storms this way, rockfalls, men, dogs, traffic and hunger.

Albannach · Feb 27, 2010

I personally find it too detached to draw me in, just a personal reaction. I haven't read it and this doesn't impel me to read it. While it causes some slight curiosity about who or what the "idiot" is, and the sentences are well enough crafted, I can't even tell for sure that it's human (he was a science fiction writer, I believe?). I would put it down and pick up another novel.

Kosh · Feb 27, 2010

Maxinquaye said:
I love the paragraph, but I wouldn't say it's an opening - for me. I need a couple more. It's well crafted, and it would get me to the next paragraphs of the opening - which is quite a long one too.

Yeah, I just wasn't sure how much could be quoted here so I played it safe.

maestrowork · Feb 27, 2010

It's a gorgeous opening. But I agree, it's a little detached, and I'm a bit disorienting. But I'd definitely read on and find out more, and see if I connect.

OPENINGS: More Than Human by Theodore Sturgeon

Kosh

Will Write for Food

blacbird

Jamesaritchie

MacAllister

Tired and worried.

blacbird

backslashbaby

*

blacbird

Cranky

SirOtter

Il Cavaliere Marino

SirOtter

Il Cavaliere Marino

backslashbaby

*

Lady Ice

Makes useful distinctions

eyeblink

Barbara says hi

Libbie

Worst song played on ugliest guitar

Maxinquaye

That cheeky buggerer

Albannach

AW Addict

Kosh

Will Write for Food

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray

OPENINGS: More Than Human by Theodore Sturgeon

Will Write for Food

Tired and worried.

~~~~*~~~~

Il Cavaliere Marino

Il Cavaliere Marino

~~~~*~~~~

Makes useful distinctions

Barbara says hi

Worst song played on ugliest guitar

That cheeky buggerer

AW Addict

Will Write for Food

Fear the Death Ray

*

*