Now, or later?

[mtrenteseau]

When I started writing, I had an opening scene in mind of my MC being awakened by the police and informed of a murder.

Then I wrote a first chapter that preceded this, in which we see the murder from the POV of the victim. It's a poisoning, so we don't know who did it or exactly when, just that the victim's actions are increasibly hampered until she finally passes out.

I can't decide which I prefer. I know some people dislike prologues, and others might find the original opening to be too soft and unexciting. I'd appreciate any opinions.

[alleycat]

That wouldn't necessarily be a prologue. Some books open with a chapter similar to what you describe (for example, Chapter 1 of A Time to Kill). It's often a short chapter. Here's lately I've come to think of it as the "Law & Order opening," since those TV shows always begin like that.

However, to me, an opening of the MC being aroused in the middle of the night by the police would tend to draw me into the book more. The "last moments of the victim's life" opening is getting a little stale.

[mtrenteseau]

Thanks. :)

The "last moments of the victim" opening does tie together the pieces of evidence that are left, but only for the reader, not the characters.

As I'm seeking representation, I'm concerned that agents who might prefer the "police waking up the MC" opening won't read that far.

[alleycat]

As always, it depends . . .

If you can make an enticing opening out of the victim's murder, then try it. You can always let a couple of beta readers read it and see if they think it would be better one way or the other.

[kaitie]

And here I thought you were gonna be giving me candy. :tongue I'm with Alleycat. :)

[alleycat]

And here I thought you were gonna be giving me candy.
Ha! I completely missed that.

[mtrenteseau]

Resurrecting this discussion instead of starting a new one... (if no one replies, I'll start a new one.)

The feedback I've gotten on my MS is that it's absolutely wonderful - starting with Chapter 4.

Chapter 1 has the victim doing the sneaky thing she'll be found dead trying to do. Chapter 2 has the MC being visited by the police. Chapter 3 is the police going through the crime scene (the MC's office) with the MC.

The three chapters together were thirty-one pages, and I've trimmed it down to 23.

But how do you introduce a crime, and the main suspect, and the police working on the case, without being boring and procedural? I'm not the only person that's gotten this criticism on here so I'm sure someone has an idea that could point me in the right direction.

[heyjude]

This is hard to answer definitively without seeing the pages, but my guess is that you start with Chapter Four, and then work in little pieces here and there.

We don't *have* to see the original crime.

I found that in the ms I have on sub now that the first two-three pages were unnecessary. I kept hyperventilating. Of *course* they were necessary! It was good info! But they got left on the cutting room floor, and I worked the information in later, bit by bit. It was much stronger for it. (But I needed several pep talks, thank goodness for the good people here! :))

[mtrenteseau]

Thanks. I probably need to post some of this on SYW and get it shredded. :)

[gp101]

John Sandford opens quite often with the Bad Guy scene. We see the initial crime and he leaves enough questions to the reader that we're dying to find out the who and why of the crime. In one particular novel (sorry... I forget the title) he didn't refer to the killers by name in the opening so that later on in the novel when he does reveal their identities, it's a bit shocking because they're characters who have already been involved in the plot in other ways.

I think opening with the actual crime helps the writer in another way. Obviously, the first paragraph, first page, first chapter has to suck in the reader. If you open with your cop/PI being alerted to the crime, you have to be pretty lean with such things as description and BG; you don't want to slow the read, after all, especially in your opening. But by presenting an exciting opening from the bad guy's POV and showing the initial crime, when you then flip to chapter 2 you have a little more leeway with character descriptions and BG since you already (presumably--hopefully!) have your reader hooked.

A LITTLE leeway, that is. Info dumps are still treacherous waters. At any rate, I find I don't get as frustrated when I read those ancillary details about the MC after I've already been thrown some raw meat in chapter one. Just an observation. May or may not work for you, and this is by no means an absolute, sure-fire way of opening a mystery/thriller. But it does have its advantages.