When time passes by

kal-el · Feb 9, 2010

What's your opinion on the best way to jump forward in time during a scene? Say if I had a character hiding in the bushes whilst the police are looking for him, and I write the following:

"Jim couldn't control the fear surging through his limbs, but if he stayed here in this bush much longer, they were sure to find him. Hours passed and he found himself still rooted to the spot. Suddenly, he could hear the barking of the police dogs, but still he could not move."

Do you think it's okay to allow so much time to pass by in this fashion or a similar fashion? I've seen things like this done so many times but I just don't think it's right. Shouldn't a new paragraph be introduced if you jump forward in minutes? And shouldn't new scenes/chapters be introduced if you jump forward in hours or days or weeks or years?

How do you think time changes should be written in general? Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years? And what about decades and centuries? How should/shouldn't these time spans connect with sentences, paragraphs, scenes, chapters, and parts/sections in a book?

I hope I've made myself clear.

Midnight Star · Feb 9, 2010

In my novel, I use a journal-like format, where every time there is a scene break, I do the following:

10:10 a.m.

(scene)

11:10 a.m.

(scene)

And so forth. It really depends on what you're writing and what your preferences are. There really isn't a 'wrong' way to do this. However, I do suggest that you skip to a new paragraph when switching scenes, to avoid confusing your writer, and to tell them how much time has passed (i.e. "It had been x number of hours since character one had been hiding in the bushes.")

tjwriter · Feb 9, 2010

Jim couldn't control the fear surging through his limbs, but if he stayed here in this bush much longer, they were sure to find him.

The cramps in his legs were killing him and judging by the sun's position, hours had passed. Suddenly, he could hear the barking of the police dogs, but still he could not bring himself to move.

Or something like that. That's pretty sucky.

dawinsor · Feb 9, 2010

I think movies have encouraged us to accept jump cuts more than we used to. At one time, if the cowboys were riding into town, we'd get a glimpse of them on the road. Now we usually skip that and just get where we're going. I think the same thing is true in books. Readers adjust, and they usually prefer to skip the boring stuff.

kal-el · Feb 9, 2010

tjwriter said:
Jim couldn't control the fear surging through his limbs, but if he stayed here in this bush much longer, they were sure to find him.

The cramps in his legs were killing him and judging by the sun's position, hours had passed. Suddenly, he could hear the barking of the police dogs, but still he could not bring himself to move.

Or something like that. That's pretty sucky.

Sure. But was your second paragarph just a new paragraph or was it a new scene as well? What do you think it should be, considearing that hours have passed?

I think that should be a new scene.

Chasing the Horizon · Feb 9, 2010

kal-el said:
I think that should be a new scene.

Yeah, I agree. Whenever I'm doing a time-skip of more than a few minutes I put in a scene break.

kal-el · Feb 9, 2010

Chasing the Horizon said:
Yeah, I agree. Whenever I'm doing a time-skip of more than a few minutes I put in a scene break.

I'm glad someone sees it the way I do!

What's your take on sections in a novel? Part 1, 2, 3, and so on. Novels are divided into parts to indicate massive time gaps, aren't they?

roonil_wazlib · Feb 9, 2010

kal-el said:
I'm glad someone sees it the way I do!

What's your take on sections in a novel? Part 1, 2, 3, and so on. Novels are divided into parts to indicate massive time gaps, aren't they?

Not always. I just finished reading a book that was split into three sections and usually the time gaps were nothing more than a day or two. The parts, however, dealt with the gradually changing atmosphere of the book and the lives of the characters (Part One was the happy beginning, Part Two was the beginning of the end and Part Three was when things exploded).

Caitlin Black · Feb 9, 2010

Parts end and start on important notes, generally speaking. It doesn't have to be a big gap in time - it can just be the right time to put Part 2 and hope the reader takes a big breath, and understands that the themes have just subtly altered.

Where hours pass, I'd start a new chapter, personally, unless this is some epic storyline that takes 4 years or whatever to be finished (ie. 4 years of book time, not necessarily 4 years of writing). Where you have a lot of book time elapsing between "It was a dark and stormy night" and "the end", then hours passing could be just the start of the next scene, but if the booktime is about a week of intense action, then an hour passing to me seems like a good reason to start a new chapter.

Note: Just an opinion.

L. E. Nelson Jr. · Feb 9, 2010

I'm just a newbie, but I'm well into my fourth novel. I always break away in a situation like that and leave the reader hanging. It's something I learned from Dean Koontz. Think of Watchers. Some guy is walking through a house under construction and you know the monster is there and he doesn't. You see him open a door and listen. No one is there. He eases forward into the room. Then there is a scene break and he takes you to another character altogether. Meanwhile you are wondering when the monster is going to tear the guy apart. I think we can all learn from a device like that. OK, I'll shut up now.

shaldna · Feb 10, 2010

i've seen writers skip ahead months or even years in a scene. one example read this morning went something like:

'You just remember what I told you.' she said, garing at him over her book, 'It's all going to go wrong sooner or later.'

Much as he didn't want to admit it, her words stayed with him over the coming months, and as spring melted into summer he found that he was growing more uneasy, almost willing that something bad happen. Just to get it over with.

'I think you've cursed me.' he complained during lunch on a hot day in July.

'Not this time.' she'd said with a smile.

But by the following week she wasn't smiling anymore.

'I think I've cursed myself.' she said.

here we have an example of two shifts in time over the course of a single scene.

Danthia · Feb 10, 2010

It depends on how you want to break it down. I've done the "hours passed" thing if I don't want to stop the flow and break the scene, and I've done scene breaks when I could break on a tense moment.

I'd recommend against a scene break if all it does is skip time. A scene end is a natural place for readers to set down a book, and you want to give them incentive to keep reading. But if you can end it on a "ooo what's going to happen next" moment, and then cut ahead a few hours, then go for it.

Either works just fine. Use the one that works best for the scene.

kal-el · Feb 10, 2010

Hmmm ... interesting.

job · Feb 10, 2010

One reason for stretching a scene over a long period of time is you have a continuing action and you want to show it.

Consider The Princess Bride where Inigo Montoya is chasing the man with six fingers.

We could show the first confrontation between these two and then jump to the ending fight-to-the-death. Two scenes.
Instead we get chases through a set of rooms and corridors. We get discursions and intermediate discussion and little bits of fighting. This all forms an integral whole. It is a single scene.

So, when we look at a chunk of time passing -- it is not the length of time that determines whether this is all one scene. It is the continuing action that knits the beginning and ending together to make a self-contained, integral scene.

If you have a lapse of time that can't be covered by a 'lengthening action' such as,
'They both sat, silent, thinking about what Gregor had just revealed. Then Marcia began to sob.'
or
'Jenny watched a distant speck turn into a horse and rider. That would be the messenger, carrying orders -- to retreat or to stand and die. It took a long time for him to cross the plain. At last, Timmy picked up his rifle . . '
or some such,
then there is probably too much intervening time and one should start a new scene.

As a side note here.
Sometimes, when we are tempted to combine two scenes, it is because one or the other is not sufficiently strong to stand on its own as an independent scene. That's when you consider rewriting or eliminating one of the scenes.

kal-el · Feb 10, 2010

job said:
One reason for stretching a scene over a long period of time is you have a continuing action and you want to show it.

Consider The Princess Bride where Inigo Montoya is chasing the man with six fingers.

We could show the first confrontation between these two and then jump to the ending fight-to-the-death. Two scenes.
Instead we get chases through a set of rooms and corridors. We get discursions and intermediate discussion and little bits of fighting. This all forms an integral whole. It is a single scene.

So, when we look at a chunk of time passing -- it is not the length of time that determines whether this is all one scene. It is the continuing action that knits the beginning and ending together to make a self-contained, integral scene.

If you have a lapse of time that can't be covered by a 'lengthening action' such as,
'They both sat, silent, thinking about what Gregor had just revealed. Then Marcia began to sob.'
or
'Jenny watched a distant speck turn into a horse and rider. That would be the messenger, carrying orders -- to retreat or to stand and die. It took a long time for him to cross the plain. At last, Timmy picked up his rifle . . '
or some such,
then there is probably too much intervening time and one should start a new scene.

As a side note here.
Sometimes, when we are tempted to combine two scenes, it is because one or the other is not sufficiently strong to stand on its own as an independent scene. That's when you consider rewriting or eliminating one of the scenes.

The things you say always make perfect sense. I always appreciate your kind, informative input, job. You have helped me so much. Once again.

Thank you.

kal-el · Feb 10, 2010

Cliff Face said:
Parts end and start on important notes, generally speaking. It doesn't have to be a big gap in time - it can just be the right time to put Part 2 and hope the reader takes a big breath, and understands that the themes have just subtly altered.

Where hours pass, I'd start a new chapter, personally, unless this is some epic storyline that takes 4 years or whatever to be finished (ie. 4 years of book time, not necessarily 4 years of writing). Where you have a lot of book time elapsing between "It was a dark and stormy night" and "the end", then hours passing could be just the start of the next scene, but if the booktime is about a week of intense action, then an hour passing to me seems like a good reason to start a new chapter.

Note: Just an opinion.

Agreed 100%

When time passes by

kal-el

Midnight Star

We are once in a lifetime.

tjwriter

Emerging Anew

dawinsor

Dorothy A. Winsor

kal-el

Chasing the Horizon

Blowing in the Wind

kal-el

roonil_wazlib

Smile.

Caitlin Black

Wild one

L. E. Nelson Jr.

shaldna

The cake is a lie. But still cake.

Danthia

kal-el

job

In the end, it's just you and the manuscript

kal-el

kal-el