Questions about resubmitting

snowflake24 · Feb 9, 2010

I'm sorry if this is in the wrong place, but I wasn't quite sure where to post it. At the beginning of January I e-queried an agent, and the next day she asked to see the first fifty pages of my manuscript. I sent them to her by mail, as she requested, and I just recently received them back with a short note from the agent written on the cover page. It said, "Needs new lead or hook. May resubmit."

I'm not sure exactly what she means by this. Does she want me to rewrite the first few introductory paragraphs, or does she mean to rewrite the first chapter (or two)? I would like to have a little more clarification on what exactly didn't work for her, but I'm a little scared to e-mail her about it since she sent my work back and may not remember. Any opinions and suggestions would be greatly appreciated, especially if you've dealt with a situation similar to this. Thank you!

BrooklynLee · Feb 9, 2010

Personally, I would just shelve this agent for now and go on to others. This particular bit of feedback is so spare that it's hard to see what you could do with it.

However, if you find that you don't get any response from other agents, or others are saying the same thing (that the beginning of the book is weak) then you might consider revising --- and probably more than just the opening paragraphs. If you do revise, then resubmit it to this particular agent with a note explaining that you have revised the book and reminding her that she said she'd take another look.

Clearly she liked something in it, because otherwise she would have never asked for you to resubmit it.

I had an agent make some suggestions and ask me to resubmit, but the suggestions were much more concrete (and I had already signed with another agent, so I didn't end up doing those revisions)

WildScribe · Feb 9, 2010

Bring in the betas. Ask them to help you figure out what the hook is, and what can be done to strengthen it. If they agree that it is weak, you have some work to do.

DennisB · Feb 9, 2010

I've never had anybody make a suggestion. I'd think of this as a start. If you can reformulate the hook or lead easily (if you agree with the agent), DO IT! What have you got to lose? A few hours of writing.
But if it greatly changes the book you believe in, don't. Go on to another agent.

Jamesaritchie · Feb 9, 2010

snowflake24 said:
I'm sorry if this is in the wrong place, but I wasn't quite sure where to post it. At the beginning of January I e-queried an agent, and the next day she asked to see the first fifty pages of my manuscript. I sent them to her by mail, as she requested, and I just recently received them back with a short note from the agent written on the cover page. It said, "Needs new lead or hook. May resubmit."

I'm not sure exactly what she means by this. Does she want me to rewrite the first few introductory paragraphs, or does she mean to rewrite the first chapter (or two)? I would like to have a little more clarification on what exactly didn't work for her, but I'm a little scared to e-mail her about it since she sent my work back and may not remember. Any opinions and suggestions would be greatly appreciated, especially if you've dealt with a situation similar to this. Thank you!

Most likely just teh first couple of parapgraphs. If she's a good agent, jump all over it. Get it done and ger it resubmitted.

If you like, you can keep sending to other agents while still doing what this agent asks, but you may never get a second chance like this one. Don't throw it away.

Albannach · Feb 9, 2010

Jamesaritchie said:
Most likely just teh first couple of parapgraphs. If she's a good agent, jump all over it. Get it done and ger it resubmitted.

If you like, you can keep sending to other agents while still doing what this agent asks, but you may never get a second chance like this one. Don't throw it away.

I agree. Usually the hook is just the first part and never throw away an invitation to resubmit. If she had made vague comments without that, then ignoring it would be the sensible thing.

I'd have some people read it and think about how you could "punch up" the start, polish like mad and send it back to her. She must have liked what she saw. If it doesn't go any further, what have you hurt? But you'll never know unless you try.

Good luck!

Jamesaritchie · Feb 9, 2010

Vague comments are all agents should ever offer on writing. They aren't writers, and one who actually tells you how to write, or who offers to do any sort of writing for you, is one to avoid.

suki · Feb 9, 2010

Jamesaritchie said:
Most likely just teh first couple of parapgraphs. If she's a good agent, jump all over it. Get it done and ger it resubmitted.

If you like, you can keep sending to other agents while still doing what this agent asks, but you may never get a second chance like this one. Don't throw it away.

Albannach said:
I agree. Usually the hook is just the first part and never throw away an invitation to resubmit. If she had made vague comments without that, then ignoring it would be the sensible thing.

I'd have some people read it and think about how you could "punch up" the start, polish like mad and send it back to her. She must have liked what she saw. If it doesn't go any further, what have you hurt? But you'll never know unless you try.

Good luck!

If it was only the first few paragraphs that she didn't like, and the rest worked for her, she'd have asked for more and saved the comment on the first few paragraphs for later.

I think she is saying the whole way you entered the story didn't work for her - and essentially she wants you to come at the start of the story from a new direction.

BUT, and here's my huge but, there's no way any of us can know what she really meant by that vague phrase. So, if you are very interested, call in the betas and take a look at the whole beginning of the book and see how to revamp the first scene at least.

But I think just revising the first few paragraphs isn't likely going to solve whatever her issue is - because if she liked the rest, she'd have asked for more and saved her comment on the first few paragraphs for later. Her issue was likely more than the first few paragraphs.

~suki

scope · Feb 9, 2010

First of all, you should keep on sending queries to other agents.

I would assume that she's talking about your first page -- more specifically probably your first 2-4 paragraphs. When you read your manuscript does what she said make sense to you and do you agree? If so, you know what you have to do. If not, if you completely disagree and think what you have written is as clear, meaningful and exciting as can be, you probably want to leave it alone and concentrate on the other agents to whom you are submitting. If you are not sure, do as suki advises -- call in the betas and get their opinions.

kaitie · Feb 9, 2010

I agree that you should put it up in SYW or have some beta readers look over it and help you out. The big problem here is what if the hook really doesn't work, and then you continue to submit to agents with the same opening and they turn you down because the opening paragraphs don't work. It might just be her opinion, in which case you can just rework it and send it to her and see if she likes it, but if the general consensus is that there is a problem with the opening, fixing it might actually help you get more requests in the first place.

Jamesaritchie · Feb 9, 2010

What she wants sounds pretty clear to me, and she was, thank God, smart enough to leave the how up to the writer.

And I'm betting beta readers have already said the opening is fine. Beta readers are wrong even more often than agents.

snowflake24 · Feb 9, 2010

Thank you all for your advice. This has helped me a lot with my decision making.

James D. Macdonald · Feb 9, 2010

The new lead or hook could be more on the lines of ...

Rather than opening the story at the vicar's tea party, open it with Lady Milicent having supper with Lord Horace.

Those comments seem plenty specific to me and (were it my manuscript, with which I was intimately familiar) I'd instantly know what to do.

shaldna · Feb 10, 2010

Firstly that sounds like the most vague rejection I've ever heard. Not even a form letter? Or a definitive yay or nay?

I wouldn't bother to resubmit to her.

kurzon · Feb 10, 2010

I would read that feedback as "I liked this, but something's wrong with the beginning - it didn't grab me straight away." If, after you analyse your opening, you can't see anything that would work with the story to change, leave that agent's comments at the back of your mind and try a few others.

But don't let the comment drift away altogether. Let it rattle around back there, and if it should happen you re-read that story some months/years from now and it occurs to you that the opening would really work better if you did _this_, then send that agent the revised ms.

In other words, don't revise just for the sake of revising. Revise if you can see a way to make it better. Otherwise, submit to the agent and work on the next project.

Questions about resubmitting

snowflake24

Back into the groove.

BrooklynLee

Got the hang of it, here

WildScribe

Slave to the Wordcount

DennisB

Jamesaritchie

Albannach

AW Addict

Jamesaritchie

suki

Opinionated

scope

Commonsensical Maverick

kaitie

With great power comes

Jamesaritchie

snowflake24

Back into the groove.

James D. Macdonald

Your Genial Uncle

shaldna

The cake is a lie. But still cake.

kurzon