Ms, Mrs or Miss... Contacting Agents

J Forias · Feb 5, 2010

Hello all!

I am currently sending off queries for my novel. I've heard it recommended that it's a good idea to research the agents inside an agency and submit to the one who deals in your genre.

I've been doing this and most of those agents have been women. But the websites never, ever tell me whether they are a Miss, Mrs or Ms, which causes me a problem when I try to address the covering letter to them. I assume it's not correct to address them by their first name.

At the moment, I've been calling up the agencies so I can find out the right title, but I get the feeling there are a number of secretaries laughing at me.

What's the correct etiquette?

DeadlyAccurate · Feb 5, 2010

The etiquette rule for business letters is to use Ms.

J Forias · Feb 5, 2010

DeadlyAccurate said:
The etiquette rule for business letters is to use Ms.

Awesome. I wasn't aware. Thank you!

suki · Feb 5, 2010

J Forias said:
Hello all!

I am currently sending off queries for my novel. I've heard it recommended that it's a good idea to research the agents inside an agency and submit to the one who deals in your genre.

I've been doing this and most of those agents have been women. But the websites never, ever tell me whether they are a Miss, Mrs or Ms, which causes me a problem when I try to address the covering letter to them. I assume it's not correct to address them by their first name.

At the moment, I've been calling up the agencies so I can find out the right title, but I get the feeling there are a number of secretaries laughing at me.

What's the correct etiquette?

ETA - ah, others already answered. I'll leave my post anyway.

First, do not call agencies for such information. In fact, I can't think of a single reason I'd call an agency before or during querying. It's just not done.

Second, always use Ms. in business correspondence, including queries, unless the woman herself makes it known she prefers a different title - like Dr. or Mrs.

Few women over the age of 18 will appreciate being called "Miss" these days. And, frankly, many professional women who are married would welcome Ms. in professional correspondence, as their professional personas are generally separate from their marital status.

~suki

veinglory · Feb 5, 2010

If the website doesn't tell you, they probably prefer not to use titles. Rather than guess (what if they are Dr. or Revd. or a man with a girly name?) I would suggest just using first name and last name: Dear Jane Doe.

suki · Feb 5, 2010

veinglory said:
If the website doesn't tell you, they probably prefer not to use titles. Rather than guess (what if they are Dr. or Revd. or a man with a girly name?) I would suggest just using first name and last name: Dear Jane Doe.

You can generally find out from blogs, interviews, querytracker, the agent's bio on the website, etc. If possible, it's more proper to use Ms. Doe.

~suki

Libbie · Feb 5, 2010

Yes -- using a name is also acceptable, and can be preferable in the cases where agents have gender-ambiguous names.

gothicangel · Feb 5, 2010

Yes stay away from Miss/Mrs. When I get those kind of letters I end up insulted.

Even though I'm a confirmed Miss, I always use Ms.

the addster · Feb 5, 2010

I use Ms., unless they have PhD after their name, or the bio mentions "Cecelia McOvereducated was awarded her doctorate in Womens Studies, English Literature, and Pre-Columbia Law from Muckity-Muck University..". If they make it very clear they have the title Dr., I use it.

veinglory · Feb 5, 2010

I am sure Ms. is technically more proper, but I swapped my business correspondance to unadorned names and seem to have less trouble rather than more. Partly because a good half of the people I am writing to have a PhD or may/may not merit the courtesy title of Dr. What a minefield.

IceCreamEmpress · Feb 5, 2010

If you do not know the person's preference, either "Dear Ms. Doe" or "Dear Jane Doe" is acceptable.

And if you do not know the person's gender identity, "Dear Chris Doe" is probably by far your best bet.

J Forias · Feb 5, 2010

Thank you for all the replies. I appreciate the advice.

(And I've just realised I've put this in the wrong forum, so apologies for that, too.)

Polenth · Feb 5, 2010

Though Ms might be considered an official business thing, some women get very offended if you call them Ms. Some women get very offended if you call them Miss. And some get offended if you call them Mrs. You can't predict which is the right one.

It's rare for someone to be offended by Dear Sally Surname.

So I'd go against the standard business letter advice... standard it may be, but it doesn't stop it offending people. Missing out the title is the best way to avoid offence.

Birol · Feb 5, 2010

veinglory said:
I am sure Ms. is technically more proper, but I swapped my business correspondance to unadorned names and seem to have less trouble rather than more. Partly because a good half of the people I am writing to have a PhD or may/may not merit the courtesy title of Dr. What a minefield.

Oh. Yeah. Call a 'Dr.' a 'Mr.' in business correspondence and the phone calls informing you what a horrible person you are will start.

maestrowork · Feb 6, 2010

Do not call agencies for such information. In fact, I can't think of a single reason I'd call an agency before or during querying. It's just not done.

What if the agent has a foreign name or unisex name (such as Leslie) and you don't know if that's a man or woman?

I think they should all add a title to their correspondence/submission guidelines especially if they're Dr.s or Sirs...

Fresie · Feb 6, 2010

maestrowork said:
What if the agent has a foreign name or unisex name (such as Leslie) and you don't know if that's a man or woman?

I think they should all add a title to their correspondence/submission guidelines especially if they're Dr.s or Sirs...

A friend of mine used the following form of address in this situation:

Dear Agent Leslie Smith

But personally, I'm not sure. It does sound quite rude to me. What do you think?

maestrowork · Feb 6, 2010

"Dear Leslie Smith" always seems rather rude to me. I hate it when I see "Dear Ray Wong" in anything that is addressed to me -- it tells me either it's a form letter, or the sender is rather rude.

Priene · Feb 6, 2010

I wouldn't ever use Dear FirstName Surname. It reeks of mail merge. Dear FirstName, Dear Ms Surname and Dear Sir / Madam cover all the possibilities.

Polenth · Feb 6, 2010

Fresie said:
Dear Agent Leslie Smith

It sounds like they're a member of the FBI.

IceCreamEmpress · Feb 6, 2010

Sending mail to "Dear Sir/Madam" when you know the agent's name is "Chris Doe" makes you look like an idiot.

Yes, the best bet is to call and find out if "Chris Doe" is a Mr. or a Ms.

But failing that, "Dear Chris Doe" is a lot better than "Dear Sir/Madam."

bonitakale · Feb 7, 2010

IceCreamEmpress said:
Sending mail to "Dear Sir/Madam" when you know the agent's name is "Chris Doe" makes you look like an idiot.

Yes, the best bet is to call and find out if "Chris Doe" is a Mr. or a Ms.

But failing that, "Dear Chris Doe" is a lot better than "Dear Sir/Madam."

I don't know if the original poster of the sir/madam thing meant to write "Dear Sir/Madam," or whether what was meant was to write either "Dear Sir," or "Dear Madam."

I go for Ms when the sex is known to be female, and I can't imagine anyone in business being annoyed by it. No doubt there are some, though-- people being the screwed-up things they are.

But, for me at least, "Sir/Madam" makes me think something's wrong with the picture on my website. Or with me. Do I look that much like a man? Oh, well, gives me a laugh.

However, I truly believe that anyone named Pat or Leslie or Chris will prefer, "Dear Leslie Smith," over the wrong sex.

DennisB · Feb 7, 2010

Suki,
I've never been an agent, but I have been in business, and I always appreciated the person who would bother to make a call to find out just who to contact for a job, sales call, etc. (proper spelling, title, and gender).

However, I really doubt that you'd reach a human being if you did call an agent's office. You'll get VM, and these people NEVER return calls. That is what "just isn't done."

DennisB · Feb 7, 2010

One more thought: Google the name. There's likely to be an entry for that person, and it'll probably use a pronoun or two to let you deduce whether it's a man or woman.

maestrowork · Feb 7, 2010

I kinda don't understand the apprehension against calling to find out... you don't even have to leave them your name, let alone your real name. No harm's done.

Fresie · Feb 7, 2010

DennisB said:
One more thought: Google the name. There's likely to be an entry for that person, and it'll probably use a pronoun or two to let you deduce whether it's a man or woman.

Yes, that's what I normally do.

maestrowork said:
I kinda don't understand the apprehension against calling to find out... you don't even have to leave them your name, let alone your real name. No harm's done.

I agree!

I actually read some advice on the site of Australian Literary Agents' Association that said anyone willing to submit to an Australian agent should call prior to querying, so it obviously differs from country to country.

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