Starting a novel with the name of the protagonist

kal-el · Feb 3, 2010

I read somewhere (I can't remember where) that publishers these days don't like manuscripts that start with the name of the protagonist. And is it also true that swearing or vulgar/sexual remarks and thoughts should be kept out of the first few paragraphs?

One of my novels starts off with the full name of the protagonist and in the same sentence, he thinks about the sexual things he wants to do to a woman who will shortly be arriving in his hotel room.

Should I avoid this do you think?

Z0Marley · Feb 3, 2010

I think everything wonderful starts with sex.

Mornings... beginning of books...

I don't see a problem. And I don't think a first, middle, and last name is going to be a turn off if the story is great.

jvc · Feb 3, 2010

I hate to say the obvious, but if it works, it works. Nothing is wrong if it is written well and the story is great. And I've never heard the rule about not naming the protwagnitist in the first paragraph. I have in mine. Although there is no sex in it, which may annoy M.Austin

Matera the Mad · Feb 3, 2010

I think what is meant here is not naming the protag in the first paragraph but literally starting with the name, as the first word of the first sentence. Which I have done, because it would take a word-wasting overpunctuated workaround not to.

It's too silly to ever be a rule.

blacbird · Feb 3, 2010

Matera the Mad said:
I think what is meant here is not naming the protag in the first paragraph but literally starting with the name, as the first word of the first sentence. Which I have done, because it would take a word-wasting overpunctuated workaround not to.

It's too silly to ever be a rule.

I'll bet I can go to any bookstore and find a hundred books that violate this "rule".

caw

gothicangel · Feb 3, 2010

kal-el said:
I read somewhere (I can't remember where) that publishers these days don't like manuscripts that start with the name of the protagonist. And is it also true that swearing or vulgar/sexual remarks and thoughts should be kept out of the first few paragraphs?

I hope not the first few paragraphs include swearing and a character making a vulgar, sexist joke. It's a group of twenty year old lads, and I'm not really into pretending that in that environment [a nightclub, drinking heavily] that men are pure and chaste!

As about as pure and chaste as myself!

Ken · Feb 3, 2010

Jane Doe saw it was the best of times to roll in the hay, she saw it was the worst of times to roll in the hay ...

Danthia · Feb 3, 2010

Neither are true. If you put sex in the opening paragraphs for the sole purpose of appearing risque and shocking, or to hook readers then yeah, don't do it. But that's starting with a bad opening and you should avoid those no matter what they are.

Tons of book start with the protag's name. I have read where some agents don't like books that start with a "My name is Jane Smith and I'm fifteen, and here's my story" type sentences. But that's more personal taste than a trend or rule.

HighDesertBrat · Feb 3, 2010

blacbird said:
I'll bet I can go to any bookstore and find a hundred books that violate this "rule".

caw

And probably the same number for every other "rule of writing."

Lady Ice · Feb 3, 2010

kal-el said:
I read somewhere (I can't remember where) that publishers these days don't like manuscripts that start with the name of the protagonist. And is it also true that swearing or vulgar/sexual remarks and thoughts should be kept out of the first few paragraphs?

One of my novels starts off with the full name of the protagonist and in the same sentence, he thinks about the sexual things he wants to do to a woman who will shortly be arriving in his hotel room.

Should I avoid this do you think?

The reason for not liking starting with the name of the protagonist is that it can be pretty formulaic: 'Mary awoke one morning...'
Starting with anything too vulgar might put some people off- offending the reader right at the beginning of the book is probably not a good idea- but if the novel is about drugs and murder, it's totally valid to start with that.

Your first few paragraphs give the reader a sense of what the rest of the book will be like. If you start with something graphic, they're expecting a graphic book; if the book turns out to be nothing like that, it's a bit annoying.

Claudia Gray · Feb 3, 2010

If you're not just stating the name, but telling us something that matters about that character, nobody will even notice that his name came first.

For instance, a book that sold pretty well begins: "Scarlett O'Hara was not a beautiful woman, but men seldom noticed it when captured by her charms as the Tarleton twins were."

(That might not be exactly verbatim, but it's close, and it's the kind of first line that stays with you.)

Stunted · Feb 3, 2010

I think that starting with a name is a classy thing to do.

Jamesaritchie · Feb 3, 2010

It's like starting with dialogue. It can be done, and done very, very well, but about 98% of the time it's done poorly.

Many of these "rules" are in place simply because so many new writers seem to do the same things over and over, and do them poorly.

It can, unfortunately, bleed over to taint even good manuscripts. When you read ninety-nine bad manuscripts that start with dialogue, or that start with the character's name, it can be tough to read past the same opening in the one hundreth manuscript, even if everything past that is wonderful.

kal-el · Feb 3, 2010

I'm pretty sure I'm doing the right thing then. My novel is sexual in nature, and it tells the tale of a sexually frustrated man who keeps paying for hookers.

Basically, the first sentence describes where he is standing and what he is drinking, and then some interior monologue tells my readers where and how he wants to explode inside her.

Considering it's a racy novel, I should be fine I suppose. Thanks everyone!

jvc · Feb 3, 2010

kal-el said:
I'm pretty sure I'm doing the right thing then. My novel is sexual in nature, and it tells the tale of a sexually frustrated man who keeps paying for hookers.

Basically, the first sentence describes where he is standing and what he is drinking, and then some interior monologue tells my readers where and how he wants to explode inside her.

Considering it's a racy novel, I should be fine I suppose. Thanks everyone!

And if you wanted some detailed opinions and a critique of your story then you could post a sample in the Share Your Work forum.

kal-el · Feb 3, 2010

Thanks. I'm going to do this soon.

DennisB · Feb 3, 2010

Marley was dead. First of all.
Oh, wait. Marley was a secondary character. My bad.

In all seriousness, I seem to remember a Michael Connelly book that began with "Harry Bosch...."

Gillhoughly · Feb 3, 2010

I read somewhere (I can't remember where) that publishers these days don't like manuscripts that start with the name of the protagonist. And is it also true that swearing or vulgar/sexual remarks and thoughts should be kept out of the first few paragraphs?

Go to a bookstore. Find books/stories similar to yours. Read the opening page for ALL of them.

You'll find all different kinds of openings. Make yours better.

Publishers--acquisition editors--are looking for GOOD WRITING.

That's the only catch in this craft.

kal-el · Feb 3, 2010

jvc said:
And if you wanted some detailed opinions and a critique of your story then you could post a sample in the Share Your Work forum.

I just posted chapter one in the mainstream share your work section. Just in case you wanted a quick look perhaps?

JackinElgin · Feb 3, 2010

You know what I found was successful in the query process? Instead of a formal query letter I just put a post-it note in the envelope that says, "Dear, (Insert Editor/Agent name here, I subscribe to writers marketplace for a reason damnit!) F*ck you. P.S. Buy this M.S., F*ckhead."

Sometimes I change it up, the Post-it might say "Dear Idiot, buy this M.S. P.S. I'm standing in your closet right now." Better still, "Do you remember where you parked? Give me a call and I'll remind you..."

This has resulted in a few trips to a magic land I call "The Grand Jury" but I did get a request for a full...It was rejected after the retraining order became finalized (HarperCollins, damn you and your "lawyers")

Albannach · Feb 3, 2010

Haha My novel starts with a curse and it's dialogue. Didn't even know there was some sort of "rule". Does it help or make it worse that the curse is in French?

IceCreamEmpress · Feb 4, 2010

Starting a novel with the full name of the protagonist is a cliche in romance, and people are well advised not to do it because it's currently one of the things that bugs editors.

Jessica Stewart was having the worst day of her life. The photocopier had exploded, and her mother was arriving that evening for a two-week visit! etc., is currently Unfavorite Flavor of the Year, as I understand it.

gothicangel · Feb 4, 2010

Now I'm getting so paranoid, I need to check the first line of my novel

Katrina S. Forest · Feb 4, 2010

That rule makes no sense to me. I could write a hundred different types of sentences that happen to start with my MC's name. That's way too broad to say all of them are going to be bad openings.

Whatever makes the reader turn to the next page.

shaldna · Feb 4, 2010

call me ishmael

enough said.

Starting a novel with the name of the protagonist

kal-el

Z0Marley

jvc

Fearsome Dragon Mod

Matera the Mad

Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint

blacbird

gothicangel

Toughen up.

Ken

Danthia

HighDesertBrat

Hired Pen

Lady Ice

Makes useful distinctions

Claudia Gray

Stunted

Ich heiße Superphantastisch!

Jamesaritchie

kal-el

jvc

Fearsome Dragon Mod

kal-el

DennisB

Gillhoughly

Grumpy writer and editor

kal-el

JackinElgin

back for more

Albannach

AW Addict

IceCreamEmpress

Hapless Virago

gothicangel

Toughen up.

Katrina S. Forest

shaldna

The cake is a lie. But still cake.