Extended humorous scene in a thriller?

MarkEsq · Feb 1, 2010

So I am writing a thriller, all very serious of course because people die etc.

But my personality is to make people laugh and often that bleeds into my work. Now I've found myself having to make a decision about whether a full chapter is appropriate for my thriller novel. Here's the scenario:

Hugo, my protag, needs some info kept at a place where bdsm parties are held. The only way in is on the arm of a young lady the party-organizer knows, so he can sneak about once there. This entails my macho, gun-toting hero to dress in ass-less chaps and a leather waistcoat. To keep the scene real, the girl he's with would totally make fun of him, and of course by necessity there would be descriptions of some bdsm activities going on around him.

But I don't want my book to descend into farce. Should I turn and walk away from these scene, or write it and see if I can pull it off? I'm guessing, as I write this, the latter will be the advice, but I'll welcome other words of wisdom.

heyjude · Feb 1, 2010

Write it, see if it flies. I know an excellent beta reader willing to give thoughts...

RJK · Feb 2, 2010

Remember, a small percentage of your readership attends parties like you're describing. If you ridicule them, you've lost those people as readers. Write it straight, show his discomfort and humiliation. Some will think it's funny, some won't.

gothicangel · Feb 2, 2010

MarkEsq said:
So I am writing a thriller, all very serious of course because people die etc.

But my personality is to make people laugh and often that bleeds into my work. Now I've found myself having to make a decision about whether a full chapter is appropriate for my thriller novel. Here's the scenario:

Hugo, my protag, needs some info kept at a place where bdsm parties are held. The only way in is on the arm of a young lady the party-organizer knows, so he can sneak about once there. This entails my macho, gun-toting hero to dress in ass-less chaps and a leather waistcoat. To keep the scene real, the girl he's with would totally make fun of him, and of course by necessity there would be descriptions of some bdsm activities going on around him.

But I don't want my book to descend into farce. Should I turn and walk away from these scene, or write it and see if I can pull it off? I'm guessing, as I write this, the latter will be the advice, but I'll welcome other words of wisdom.

If this your natural style then why stifle it? Why not write comedy/thriller. I've read one before called Gagged [can't remember the author], it was alright but I bet you could do better!

There is no need for comedy to equal farce. Think satire, can you do wit and morals?

kaitie · Feb 2, 2010

I'd say it depends on the story. If it's particularly dark and heavy, it might need something like that to give the reader a breather.

The most iffy thing here is the fact that you're questioning it in general. I've found most of the time when I question something, it usually means there a problem. I would suggest leaving it in for now, though, until a beta reader can give you some opinions. I ended up putting in something recently that I had taken out for similar reasons, only to have a beta reader who accidentally was reading from an old copy tell me it was one of his favorite parts.

Latersbra · Feb 3, 2010

I'm struggling with the same thing in my book. Writing a thriller but I want to incorporate humor throughout.

Movies like Fargo or Burn After Reading are dark, yet there's comedy in there. It's dark comedy and I laughed.

I don't really see a whole lot of thrillers with humor. And I'm not talking slapstick. Are there thrillers like this out there? It's all new to me so excuse me if I come across as naive.

Also, is this a big no-no for publishers/agents?

MarkEsq · Feb 3, 2010

RJK said:
Remember, a small percentage of your readership attends parties like you're describing. If you ridicule them, you've lost those people as readers. Write it straight, show his discomfort and humiliation. Some will think it's funny, some won't.

Don't worry, I know several of those people and have no intention of ridiculing them. If anything, it'll be the uptight, vanilla MC who seems a little ridiculous. I may even try and make the scene a little sexy, just to change up the pace.

jeseymour · Feb 3, 2010

Carl Hiassen writes funny thrillers. So did Donald Westlake. So does Lawrence Block. But I think that's different than what you're talking about. Embarrassing your main character might be painful to read, rather than funny.

Exile87 · Feb 3, 2010

I love a bit of humor mixed into a thriller. And I'm envisioning the macho protagonist looking pretty hot in ass-less chaps...*tries to pull mind out of gutter*

I'm working on a thriller myself at the moment, but I'm constantly jabbing in humor/sarcasm at the appropriate places. The worst that can happen is that you're not too crazy about the scene and decide to scrap it. Definitely worth experimenting with though.

Feidb · Feb 3, 2010

I can't help but inject my humor into everything I write, regardless of genre. It may be wrong, but that is just my style. Maybe it's keeping me from getting published, but I don't care. I like to see humor in the books I read too.

Latersbra · Feb 3, 2010

jeseymour said:
Carl Hiassen writes funny thrillers. So did Donald Westlake. So does Lawrence Block. But I think that's different than what you're talking about. Embarrassing your main character might be painful to read, rather than funny.

I'll have to check them out. Thanks.

Ruv Draba · Feb 5, 2010

It sounds funny and I think I'd enjoy reading it. But can you add unexpected tension to surprise the reader mid-laugh? Cos I reckon that works really well.

Extended humorous scene in a thriller?

MarkEsq

Clever title pending.

heyjude

Making my own sunshine

RJK

Sheriff Bullwinkle the Poet says:

gothicangel

Toughen up.

kaitie

With great power comes

Latersbra

MarkEsq

Clever title pending.

jeseymour

Exile87

New kid, be gentle!

Feidb

Been Here A While

Latersbra

Ruv Draba