Help me cure my gerund addiction

Eddyz Aquila · Jan 23, 2010

I posted this here because I'm hoping for more replies rather than the more secluded Grammar and Syntax.

I have a serious gerund addiction. Most of my verbs are always at the dreaded (for me, because I've been having this for a looong time) -ing form that I cannot get rid of. Obviously a balance is needed, but perhaps out of 10 verbs, 6 are in the continous form and this creates weird action sometimes.

I don't know if it's an extensive problem or if I should ignore it and continue, but I'm having the same thing in Romanian as well, and in my mother tongue, it's got better, but I need to work on weeding (dammit, here goes in the ing) it out.

Any tips?

Ciera_ · Jan 23, 2010

I have never heard of this before.
It doesn't sound like a problem at all . . . can we see an example of your writing? Maybe just a paragraph that you think contains way too many gerunds?

swvaughn · Jan 23, 2010

Eddyz Aquila said:
but I need to work on weeding (dammit, here goes in the ing) it out.

Any tips?

"but I need to weed it out." And poof! The -ing disappears.

Cutting back on those -ing words means cutting back on your use of was/were, qualifiers, and other words/phrases I can't think of just now.

I was walking to work.

becomes...

I walked to work.

Susan and Johnny were running from the cops.

becomes...

Susan and Johnny ran from the cops.

(Yeah, these are terrible examples!)

He shouldn't be sitting there.

could be...

He shouldn't sit there.

Basically, look at ways to restructure your sentences to get rid of those pesky -ing verbs. Of course, you don't want to take all of them out. But as you get to the point where writing without -ing becomes more of a habit, you'll figure out how to strike the right balance.

I'd expound more on this, but it's Saturday, and I don't think too great on the weekends.

Marzipan · Jan 23, 2010

I think I know what you are talking about. Lots of 'ing' words? Like instead of 'She ran down the hill' 'She went running down the hill?' I use to have this problem in high school. It made my Creative Writing teacher have a fit one day and she refused to grade my stories until I fixed them. I guess thats what helped me, lol.

Eddyz Aquila · Jan 23, 2010

The assassin charged like a raging bull towards the knight with dashing speed, as if he were competing in the Greek Olympiads for the fastest runner. The whole gathering of men and women gawking their eyes around them gasped at the attack, eagerly awaiting the decisive encounter that would round up the wonderful entertainment they have seen today. Swinging his mace in the air in a wide arc to gain momentum, the assassin unleashed the raw force of the mace on the knight without mercy, aiming to strike him down once and for all. Gathering all his strength, Raymond avoided the blow under the cover of his protection. But the hit was menacing, the shattering of the shield painful as the splints kept grazing his face while he attempted to deflect the shot. He felt the force run through his body like an incredible vibration that resembled more of a deadly earthquake, one so powerful that it rattled his entire being. He severely underestimated the force of the man, but he wouldn't let it go that easily.

As I said, I don't know if it's a problem, but one of my English teachers observed that I'm using too many -ings.

Ciera_ · Jan 23, 2010

Ahh, I think this may actually be an issue of adverbs and adjectives. 'Dashing speed' and the like. Maybe a bit of run-on-sentence use means the gerunds are used more? like "___ing, he ____ with a ____ing ____." Terrible example. I just mean that 'ing' words kind of allow a sentence to become really long, linking many ideas together.

Marzipan · Jan 23, 2010

Yes, same type of mistakes I use to make. This can be fixed easily now that you know what to look for.

Be careful not to fall victim to -ly words now. That was one of my pitfalls early on.

Deleted member 42 · Jan 23, 2010

Oops.

Gerunds are nouns ending in -ing

I suspect you are concerned about verbs ending in -ing, or present participles.

One of the many beauties of English is that you can take an -ing form of a verb, but use it in a sentence as if it were in a noun, in that it functions as a noun, and it take the position in the sentence that would be filled by a real noun.

I like sewing.

Sewing is functioning as a noun (I like dogs) but technically it's a present participle.

Gerunds are not a huge problem, for most writers; mostly it's the use of an -ing verb form as a present participle that can be a bit annoying if used too much.

The solution is to put the verb closer in the sentence to the person performing the action of the verb.

swvaughn · Jan 23, 2010

Eddyz Aquila said:
The assassin charged like a raging bull towards the knight ~~with dashing speed~~ (don't need this bit, as the next part of the sentence implies speed), as if he were competing in the Greek Olympiads for the fastest runner. The ~~whole gathering of men and women~~crowd ~~gawking their eyes around them~~gawked and gasped at the attack, eagerly awaiting the decisive encounter that would round up the wonderful entertainment they have seen today. Swinging his mace in the air in a wide arc to gain momentum, the assassin unleashed the raw force of the mace on the knight without mercy, aiming to strike him down once and for all. ~~Gathering all his strength,~~ Raymond gathered all his strength and avoided the blow under the cover of his protection. But the hit was menacing, the shattering of the shield painful as the splints ~~kept grazing~~grazed his face while he attempted to deflect the shot. He felt the force run through his body like an incredible vibration that resembled more of a deadly earthquake, one so powerful that it rattled his entire being. He severely underestimated the force of the man, but he wouldn't let it go that easily.

So there's a bunch of different reasons you have so many -ing words in your writing sample here. Some of it is overwriting, such as "gathering of men and women" - which could just be "crowd" and you'd lose gathering.

Some of it is sentence order, as with "Gathering all his strength", in which case you can move the clause so that the character performs the action, rather than the action preceding the character.

And some of it is those words you don't need many of, like was/were and kept (and a bunch of others I still can't think of), which can just be eliminated, making the following verb an -ed form.

This might not make any sense. It did when I thought about it, but when I typed it out - not so much.

Haggis · Jan 23, 2010

Eddyz Aquila said:
Swinging his mace in the air in a wide arc to gain momentum, the assassin unleashed the raw force of the mace on the knight without mercy, aiming to strike him down once and for all.

This use of the -ing construct is one I've managed to purge from my writing. Mostly. Think of the above sentence this way. The assassin can't possibly unleash the force of the mace while he's swinging it in the air, but that's what you've told us is happening.

It's perhaps easier to see in a sentence like this: "Smiling shyly and pirouetting to show off her new dress, Penelope jumped into her lover's arms." How can you jump into someone's arms when you're pirouetting?

Ciera_ said:
Ahh, I think this may actually be an issue of adverbs and adjectives. 'Dashing speed' and the like. Maybe a bit of run-on-sentence use means the gerunds are used more? like "___ing, he ____ with a ____ing ____." Terrible example. I just mean that 'ing' words kind of allow a sentence to become really long, linking many ideas together.

Yep. Lots of adverbs and adjectives too.

Deleted member 42 · Jan 23, 2010

sonya bateman said:
This might not make any sense. It did when I thought about it, but when I typed it out - not so much.

It does. Revising is one of those things that's just easier to do than explain.

swvaughn · Jan 23, 2010

Medievalist said:
It does. Revising is one of those things that's just easier to do than explain.

True, dat. After a while, it just becomes a habit, and you forget why you write things this way or that - you just do.

Rusty brain. I haz it.

Eddyz Aquila · Jan 23, 2010

Medievalist said:
It does. Revising is one of those things that's just easier to do than explain.

Yeap.

Thanks for your ideas and critique. Much appreciated. *bow*

And thanks for taking a read on a paragraph on my first draft, hence the crappiness.

The Grump · Jan 24, 2010

Eddyz, you have my sympathy.

I have the same problem because I perceive two kinds of pasts. One, for an action that is quickly completed. (She ran.) Another, for an action than takes place over an extended period of time. (She was always running without an idea of where she was going.)

I blame it on an early exposure to Spanish being spoken around me.

kuwisdelu · Jan 24, 2010

The Grump said:
Eddyz, you have my sympathy.

I have the same problem because I perceive two kinds of pasts. One, for an action that is quickly completed. (She ran.) Another, for an action than takes place over an extended period of time. (She was always running without an idea of where she was going.)

I blame it on an early exposure to Spanish being spoken around me.

Spanish tenses have their English equivalents (more or less). It's just that they don't teach as much English grammar in school these days.

You're talking about the difference between the simple past and the past progressive tense (which would be the preterite and the imperfect in Spanish, respectively).

Ruv Draba · Jan 24, 2010

It might not be getting rid of the gerund verbs, but you could be trying to be making every verb a gerunding one. Heck, even some adjectivings can be gerundingations. You could be trying writing a six thousand word short-story with nothing but gerundings. If nothing else, it will be making your ear sensitive to the things.

Or you might be moving to New Delhi, and never worrying about it again.

Gedaechtnis · Jan 24, 2010

Haggis said:
How can you jump into someone's arms when you're pirouetting?

It's called ballet. Or ice skating.

aadams73 · Jan 24, 2010

Gedaechtnis said:
It's called ballet. Or ice skating.

They're still distinctly separate and sequential movements. You can't jump as you're performing a pirouette.

Eddyz Aquila · Jan 24, 2010

I was actually thinking of a movement where one has a mace in a hand and swings it in a circle movement to gain momentum and then drop it on an item by allowing the momentum to drive you forwards while you use your weight at the same time...

Sorry if it's a bit confusing...

Munin · Jan 24, 2010

aadams73 said:
They're still distinctly separate and sequential movements. You can't jump as you're performing a pirouette.

I just did it. Okay, I fell over, and I didn't jump into anyone's arms, but I jumped in the middle of a pirouette.

aadams73 · Jan 24, 2010

Then it wasn't an proper pirouette. But nice try.

Tepelus · Jan 24, 2010

Munin said:
I just did it. Okay, I fell over, and I didn't jump into anyone's arms, but I jumped in the middle of a pirouette.

That would have been funny to see.

Help me cure my gerund addiction

Eddyz Aquila

Noob Writers United

Ciera_

swvaughn

adrift

Marzipan

Eddyz Aquila

Noob Writers United

Ciera_

Marzipan

Deleted member 42

swvaughn

adrift

Haggis

Evil, undead Chihuahua

Deleted member 42

swvaughn

adrift

Eddyz Aquila

Noob Writers United

The Grump

Hates Marketing. Loves Writing.

kuwisdelu

Revolutionize the World

Ruv Draba

Gedaechtnis

likes toast and peppermint

aadams73

A Work in Progress

Eddyz Aquila

Noob Writers United

Munin

aadams73

A Work in Progress

Tepelus

And so...