In need of a good insult!

[abrenner]

I've come to a point where I need a good, insult-type word to tack on the end of a sentence.

Essentially, Character A (a bit of a sleaze) has just embarrassed himself in front of a whole room of people, and Character B (Our Hero) lets out a laugh. Character A gets riled up, shoots a look at Character B, and says "You think this is funny, _____?"

As you can guess, I'm having a little trouble filling in that blank space. Are there any MG-appropriate, non-corny, non-physically-specific (no "pipsqueak" or "lardball") jabs I could tuck in there?

I'm currently going with "punk" because, well, my own middle school years were full of being called that. But would MG readers not see it as a general insult, and instead start to picture Character B as some motorcycle-riding, nose-piercing rebel? He's a bit peculiar, but not quite as outrageous as that.

[alleycat]

From the way it's said, dude can sometime be used as a mild insult.

I might use butthead, but that's probably not what you're looking for.

There's also: nerd, geek, buddy boy (said with a snarl), prick (might be mild enough).

[cscarlet]

jerk?

[Cyia]

loser

[alleycat]

loser
That seems like a good choice to me if it fits your MC, plus it's not such a "trendy" insult. People will understand "loser" now, and will understand it twenty years from now.

[thothguard51]

I have always liked peckerhead...

[abrenner]

Yow, thanks, all! I think I like Cyia's suggestion . . . "loser" does fit Character B! (Or, at least, Character A's opinion of Character B.)

[Silver King]

I asked my son for terms he felt are insulting in that age group, and he listed many of the more obvious slights. Then he came up with, dick-noid.

I said, "What does that mean?"

He claims he doesn't know, but that it sounds insulting. And I would tend to agree. :)

[writernow]

I heard one teenager call another "pigfart" the other day

[Wayne K]

Butt head is a classic

[Fran]

Oooh, Scotland has many. :D

You dumpling. You galoot. You eejit (which has been kindly lent to us by the Irish). You clown. I hear 'Ya fool!' quite a lot too - I know it sounds a bit old-fashioned but being spoken in a Glasgow accent gives it a good touch of comedy, if comedy's what you're aiming for. But since you may not be writing for us lot (;)) I don't know how much use this is to you. :)

[MsJudy]

If you want generic, Loser is the best. Having heard my sons use it many a time...

Otherwise, I'd go with something as specific to the characters as you can get. Both my boys tend to be on the short side, so when the older one calls the younger one "midget" it really stings. Plus the younger one has a big vocabulary, so calling him geek or nerd is just too...accurate... The younger one mostly retaliates with "asshole" or "jerk" or "jackass," but only one of those is g-rated enough for you to use...

[SHRous]

According to my middle school aged boys, these are the insults:

idiot, punk, loser, retard, or any language translation for the word faggot. (This shocked me, but it seems they are able to go to babelfish.com at school and this is one of the words they look up!)

[Wayne K]

Faggot isn't an insult, it's a hate crime. You might want to tell them that.

[kuwisdelu]

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/143553/Southpark_Fags_1.jpg

[Mac H.]

Faggot isn't an insult, it's a hate crime. You might want to tell them that.A hate crime ?

Yes, it seems despicable, but why is it more of a hate crime that calling someone 'shorty' or 'baldy' or 'south-paw'? They are all determined by genes (or protein folding or whatever the heck causes it) - none of which can be controlled by the person.

They all imply some kind of 'wrongness' about being short, bald, gay or left-handed.

Surely they are all equally despicable.

Mac

[timp67]

I don't think "shorty" or "south paw" are ever said to someone in the same spirit as "faggot." I can't imagine any left-handed person fearing for his life in school, as many gay kids do. The suicide rates for short people I suspect are in line with the general population, whereas gay teen suicides are through the roof.

[timp67]

And to get back on topic I vote for "punk"! :)

[gtcarey]

knob

[Feiss]

sly, bucko, diggereedoo

[PVish]

I vote for loser because it can encompass so much. It doesn't insult a potential reader's height, weight, gender, sexual preference, or mental capacity. Being a loser is determined more by one's choices than by one's genes. Plus, someone can overcome being a loser by later becoming a winner. Loser probably won't go out of use as soon as dork (another word that might work) or a similar term.

[Hittman]

I'm rather fond of "Sparky." It's simple, dismissive and condescending without hitting any of the politically correct soft spots.

Nice try, Sparky.

Yeah, I'm sure you'd do it that way, Sparky.

Nice outfit, Sparky.

Great State of The Union Address, Sparky.

[Nya RAyne]

'Fairy' should work. It's hit's below the belt.

[abctriplets]

Yes, but fairy also has other connotations...

[stormie]

I vote for "loser." Esp. when it's pronounced "loooser." (Accent on the first two letters, then the word is drawn out.)

"Butthead" in my area is mostly used by the preschool (yep, preschool) and primary grade kids. "Loser" is middle grade on up.

.

[Jenan Mac]

Another vote for "loser". "Dirtball" is a favorite around here, too. (Well, and my daughter called her brother a parakeet the other day, but I still don't know what that was about.)

[poetinahat]

Also, a heavily-emphasized 'boy' works, especially if accompanied by a shove in the chest.

"You making fun of me, boy?"
(careful here if there are race considerations)

Or, in the spirit of 'Sparky' above, 'sport'.

[Amarie]

I'm starting to hear kids use the word 'creeper' in place of loser. Anyone else or is this just a local quirk?

[mware01]

The younger one mostly retaliates with "asshole" or "jerk" or "jackass," but only one of those is g-rated enough for you to use...

I'm having trouble with Jackass. I was watching Pinocchio (with my daughter) the other day and Jiminy cricket says, jackass twice.

So, without much thought I threw it into my MC manuscript figuring if it's in Pinocchio it must be OK, now I'm having second thoughts.

I'm wondering if this one hasn't gotten more vulgar with time, if only because jackasses aren't commonplace anymore (well literal ones anyway)?

[MsJudy]

Jackass won't fly in MG. It'll get cleaned up, I'm sure.

I have seen Damn in MG, but that's about as close to a genuine swear word that I've seen.

In Pinocchio, isn't jackass being used because the boys get turned into them? So not in the modern sense of a rude insult.

[Smish]

Jackass won't fly in MG. It'll get cleaned up, I'm sure.

I have seen Damn in MG, but that's about as close to a genuine swear word that I've seen.

In Pinocchio, isn't jackass being used because the boys get turned into them? So not in the modern sense of a rude insult.

I agree with Judy. Unless your characters are donkeys, I wouldn't use the word "jackass".

Side note: Pinocchio scared me to death as a child. I never watched it again. Maybe I should?

:)Smish

[stormie]

I just realized this: I've heard older people (senior citizens) use the word "jackass" occasionally as a curse word, but no one younger than that.

[colealpaugh]

I just realized this: I've heard older people (senior citizens) use the word "jackass" occasionally as a curse word, but no one younger than that.

Johnny Knoxville brought "jackass" back pretty strong for kids. A jackass is someone who'll stand in a full port-o-potty and have it turned upside down by a garbage truck. And stuff.

Being a jackass currently means to have some earned scars.

[mware01]

I just realized this: I've heard older people (senior citizens) use the word "jackass" occasionally as a curse word, but no one younger than that.

I did some searching on the internet. It appears Jackass is now perceived to be more vulgar than it used to be.

Anyway, I'm taking it out. I really only wanted to use it if it sounded vulgar but wasn't.

[Smish]

I just realized this: I've heard older people (senior citizens) use the word "jackass" occasionally as a curse word, but no one younger than that.

It's a common insult where I live, actually. However, I'd agree that it's not a term children are likely to use. I've been known to use it, though, and I'm not a senior citizen. ;)

[MsJudy]

I've definitely heard kids use it. But I doubt parents or librarians will buy MG books that use it.

[V-Man]

Personal faves:

Pud
Choad
Scrote
Wuss
Toecheese

[MsJudy]

Scrote...not for MG.

Wuss...maybe. But probably not.

Pud? choad? I'll have to look those up!

Toecheese...has definite possiblities!

[stormie]

Toecheese--yes! Ultimate insult among the MG crowd. Right up there with "lo-o-o-ser."

[Wayne K]

A hate crime ?

Yes, it seems despicable, but why is it more of a hate crime that calling someone 'shorty' or 'baldy' or 'south-paw'? They are all determined by genes (or protein folding or whatever the heck causes it) - none of which can be controlled by the person.

They all imply some kind of 'wrongness' about being short, bald, gay or left-handed.

Surely they are all equally despicable.

Mac
I didn't write the hate crime leglslation, and I'm not going to debate my opinion of it, but yes, you can be arrested for calling someone a faggot.

That was my point

ETA: Unless the OP lives somewhere else. I hadn't considered that

[Smish]

I didn't write the hate crime leglslation, and I'm not going to debate my opinion of it, but yes, you can be arrested for calling someone a faggot.

That was my point

ETA: Unless the OP lives somewhere else. I hadn't considered that

Please cite your source.

I definitely agree that "faggot" is not an appropriate insult to use in children's literature (and as someone who believes in equal rights for all, I don't appreciate its use in any negative way).

However, I don't believe that simply calling someone a faggot (or any insulting word) is a crime. That may be a factor in an arrest (for disorderly conduct, for example), and it can be a factor in determining if someone's behavior constitutes a hate crime. But we're allowed to insult people in the US.

:)Smish

[MsJudy]

While we're on the subject...

I know a third-grader who called his teacher a douchebag last week.

He did get suspended for it...

[Ivan_B]

Fop. It's a great one.
Also, used by different people in different situations, try hellyun or whippersnapper.

[ILSinTexas]

How about "barnacle brain"?

[Smish]

How about "barnacle brain"?

I think that one's used in the Percy Jackson series. ;) I like it.

[MsJudy]

Annabeth calls Percy Seaweed Brain. but she means it lovingly...

And I think that's the best example of a good insult. Because it's personal.

My ten-year-old is short and brainy. So Midget really hurts his feelings. Nerd he considers a compliment.

[Smish]

Annabeth calls Percy Seaweed Brain. but she means it lovingly...

And I think that's the best example of a good insult. Because it's personal.

My ten-year-old is short and brainy. So Midget really hurts his feelings. Nerd he considers a compliment.

I was actually thinking Clarisse called Percy 'Barnacle Brain' at some point, but I could be wrong.

[djf881]

If you're looking for something authentic, it's going to be something it's going to go for the most sensitive spot the speaker can perceive.

Kids lack the filters of adult interaction. To the extent that they're aware it's wrong to say something racist or homophobic, this knowledge just makes such forbidden subjects better ammunition. No punches should be pulled. All the places you wouldn't go, that's where the bully will look to score points. All the stuff you politely pretend not to notice about people will be the first things this character will point out.

If the kid is fat, that's the insult. If the kid hasn't gone through puberty and the other kids have, that's the insult. If the kid has zits, that's the insult. If he has a speech impediment, it's that. If his parents are dead or divorced, he will mock that. If the victim has a strange habit or tic, the bully will draw attention to it.

If you are looking for a non-specific, one-word insult, it will probably be something vulgar. Something like "punk" or "jerk" or "doofus" sounds like the way adults pretend they think kids insult each other, when they've repressed their own playground memories. "Fag" or "cunt" have the most verisimilitude. If you want to shy away from the epithet, "ass-licker" or "ball-sniffer" might work. If you're uncomfortable with that, you could probably get away with something profane but vague, like "shitbag."

When I was in middle school fifteen years ago, we might have had "asshole" in the rotation. But you should assume that every single twelve year-old boy has viewed hard-core pornography on the internet, and they probably now have more advanced tools at their disposal.

Of course, then again, a book in which children talk the way children actually talk would probably be considered inappropriate for children to read.

[C.bronco]

My favorite is, "Back-off Testostoboy!"


I only dreamed of saying it. It came to me 12 hours after the response would have been effective.

[djf881]

While we're on the subject...

I know a third-grader who called his teacher a douchebag last week.

He did get suspended for it...

"Douche" or "douchebag" could work.

[djf881]

I'm starting to hear kids use the word 'creeper' in place of loser. Anyone else or is this just a local quirk?

"Creeper" connotes a sexual pervert, predator or child-molester.

[mccardey]

so shout me down (gently) if this is the sort of thing we already know, but contemporary culture references (including insults) in YA or kids books will date your work faster than anything. My bet would be on "loser" because it's so classic - it will have currency for some time yet, even though it sounds tame by playground standards.

Of course, then again, a book in which children talk the way children actually talk would probably be considered inappropriate for children to read. I like that. It's awful but true.

Also, just out of interest - the MG standards you're referring to are basically US ones? I had a YA novel once where the protagonist referred to someone as a "wanker" and which also contained the memorable (but alas not original) observation that something "stuck out like dogs' balls". An American friend said both of those would have to have been cleaned up for the US. Is that right, or am I being teased?

[C.bronco]

This is the penultimate:
"Up you're's, looser!"
Bad grammar trumps all.

[Smish]

Something like "punk" or "jerk" or "doofus" sounds like the way adults pretend they think kids insult each other, when they've repressed their own playground memories. "Fag" or "cunt" have the most verisimilitude. If you want to shy away from the epithet, "ass-licker" or "ball-sniffer" might work. If you're uncomfortable with that, you could probably get away with something profane but vague, like "shitbag."

Of course, then again, a book in which children talk the way children actually talk would probably be considered inappropriate for children to read.

You simply can't get away with that language in children's books. Do real kids curse? Sure. But you won't see those words in chapter books or middle grade novels.

:)Smish

[Smish]

Also, just out of interest - the MG standards you're referring to are basically US ones? I had a YA novel once where the protagonist referred to someone as a "wanker" and which also contained the memorable (but alas not original) observation that something "stuck out like dogs' balls". An American friend said both of those would have to have been cleaned up for the US. Is that right, or am I being teased?

MG and YA are different, of course. In MG, cursing is a no-no.

In YA, pretty much anything goes. Sex, violence, language; there are few (if any!) limitations. So, your friend was either teasing, or she hasn't read much modern-day YA. We have a whole forum here at AW dedicated to YA; I'd recommend reading the stickies over there.

:)Smish

[Silver King]

"Creeper" connotes a sexual pervert, predator or child-molester.
Really? Huh. Maybe I need to get out more, because I've never heard of that connotation before.

[mccardey]

Thanks Smish - here (in Australia) I don't think we have "middle grade". The book (aimed at 11-14) was published without a problem down here and I always thought my friend was teasing - but when I saw the comments here I just wondered... :)

[MsJudy]

"Buttmunch" is another I've been hearing lately.

BTW, I think we answered the OP's question months ago. Now we're just having fun.

[mware01]

Quote:
Originally Posted by djf881
"Creeper" connotes a sexual pervert, predator or child-molester.

Really? Huh. Maybe I need to get out more, because I've never heard of that connotation before.

I've heard it used like that (though I think it might have been on TV). I've even snagged it for use my manuscript.

[yellow5]

Booger breath, fat head, dork wad, pea brain, numb nuts, fish face, idiot, nerd, scum bag, barf bag, barf breath, butt wipe, poop for brains...let me go listen to my 5 kids playing in the back yard and I'll come back and give you some more ideas...ha ha, MY children would never use such language! Good luck!!

[stormie]

yellow, you forgot "butthead." Our four-year-old neighbor loves that one. Calls us that whenever we're nearby. Real sweet kid. Can't wait til he's a teenager.