Character Dev - Neutral to Bad

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analias

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OK I really hope it means what it says on the tin: "Because the only dumb question is the one you don't ask."

Because I'm askin'.

I have a novel idea (as in book, not unique). It's good (so far, 10K words, you know how that goes) But I'm realizing what's going to make this work is my ability to mask motivations. More specifically not have the heartless wench seem like one from the get go and not have the soft touches there as well. Maybe I'm finding I suck at subtlety.

I realize this is the most ridiculously open ended question - but how do you hide a characters true nature until you're ready to reveal it? Subtly offer additional motivations other than they're the spawn of satan? I guess that's the only way but when I do that I feel like I'm totally diverting from the story - maybe I'm just not finding the right diversion?

Any thoughts would be welcome.

Thanks.
 

Grand_Maester

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Well, my WIP seems similar to what you are experiencing, and we'll see in a year or two if I'm any good at it. But in the mean time:
The first part of my book is about deluding the MC, as well as the reader, about the nature of a number of things, including two characters (one major, one more minor). Fortunately, it is in the major character's nature to delude the MC. So he masks his motivations well and deludes the MC (and hopefully the reader) for a while until the truth comes out.
How does he do this? Well, its simple really. He plays one role in the story, and the minor character plays a different role, however he causes the MC to think their roles are switched, if that makes sense.
 

EnkelZ

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"More specifically not have the heartless wench seem like one from the get go and not have the soft touches there as well. "

That would be hard... does he heartless wrench get hit in the head or something?

Character doesn't change without a reason. If the wench sells her grandma onto the streets (without some psyco even to change her) then she needs to have the fundamentals all along... e.g. she wants/loves/needs money more than anything, grandma is a PITA, but still hot and able to hustle a few bucks from the streets.

I'm not explaining it well... but if snow white is going to suddenly turn union busters loose on the dwarves, there has to either be an event (like drank from the Republican Party Tea Pot) or a pre-disposition (no matter how faint - like she got cut on daddy's union card as a kid).
 

analias

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Ahh yeah Grand_Maester we seem to have the same theme here. Though it's the deluding I'm having an issue with.

EnkelZ: haha "get hit in the head or something" Nice - ok I probably should give some context, I suppose.

Briefly put: WenchInDisguise was born and raised in a coarse and black and white environment (think father was a foreman for prisoners/slaves). So she has some definite... ideas on who is worth what and how people and things should be treated.

Because of those ideas she thinks she is still too low and is determined to elevate herself. Wench is a conniving... wench. She must seem more refined, less hateful, less cold and remoseless than she is to raise herself up, to try to capture a man, to raise and maintain her standing. But if I just present only the false front then it's odd and jarring when she turns back to her true nature. If I don't then she's really one dimensional, obvious and the subsequent events don't have any impact.

I just can't seem to figure out how to unravel her to the reader.

Though I'm reading this reply over and I suspect it would take far more than some quick posts to sort it out.

I'm not sure that there is an answer I can get here but if you all can point me at something I can read/research, that would be great.
 

kaitie

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Oooh, I think I get what you mean. So the problem is that she's pretending to be not a horrible person, but then at the end she basically acts like the jerk she is. You're worried portraying her as only the semi-not-so-bad person when she does something negative it'll be out of nowhere?

My first thought, and I'm not sure if this works if you're going for a twist ending here or something, is to have little clues of it throughout. They can be pretty mild. She doesn't necessarily have to do something like pay someone to hit on her man to find out if he'll cheat on her or anything. You could start with something small early on, something manipulative that isn't obvious, but is just enough to make the reader wonder whether she did it on purpose or not, then include little details over time that start to reveal her as just a conniving whore.

I'm trying to think of examples and sorta sucking at this...Things like maybe she breaks something important to the guy and lies about it so he doesn't get angry with her, or she has a bigger lie later on to set up a situation. You could even start with really tiny manipulations...maybe she's going out with this guy and asks someone close to him what his favorite color is, or his favorite perfume, and then if he comments on it she can be all, "Oh, really? I just love this color" or whatever.

You don't necessarily have to go out of your way to throw things in, and you can start with things that are pretty small but enough to clue the reader in that she's not 100% genuine, and then build up as you go. Hopefully this helps some. :)
 

Kalyke

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I realize this is the most ridiculously open ended question - but how do you hide a characters true nature until you're ready to reveal it?

Situation. Do not give her the opportunity to be nice by giving her 100% crap to deal with. If the situation is legitimate, and her actions within reason you should get the right balance. If you need to reveal a bit of the other side, you chage the actors in the situation. For example, she is a tough cop going after bad bank robbers. She is cool and mean and lays them on the ground and then after she takes of the mask of the one she has killed and finds the tough bank robber is a 12 year old boy or girl. Okay-- sort of Manja, but her motherly instincts come through-- the end.
 

backslashbaby

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I really knew a girl where this happened. It's like kaitie said. She had good explanations for everything. But she needed the benefit of the doubt too often, and suspicion set it. I started checking on a few things behind her back. That's where the insanity really started showing. A lot of times, other people knew a lot more than I did, because she hid it from me and didn't from them.

I could see a person learning more than they were looking for by accident (from other people), so your MC doesn't have to get suspicious on his own, even.
 

EnkelZ

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I just can't seem to figure out how to unravel her to the reader.

Maybe google how psychopaths operate. They're successful because they're very good at mimicking what's needed to achieve their goals. They're only disliked because they are only concerned with what they want and would kick a kitten into the spokes of a child on a bicycle with no remorse at all. (Some say that many CEOs and politicians are actually psychopaths) Anyway, there are some sites out there written by people who've experienced psychopaths first hand.

Not that your character is a psychopath, just that there are definitely skills there that she can use to her benifit. I personally, at one point wanted to become a psychopath. I would love to be free of any sense of empathy for fellow humans or need to comply with right/wrong... but alas, it appears you have to be genetically wired that way. I could be such a good (and rich) criminal if it weren't for stupid genetics.
 

Lady Ice

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Ahh yeah Grand_Maester we seem to have the same theme here. Though it's the deluding I'm having an issue with.

EnkelZ: haha "get hit in the head or something" Nice - ok I probably should give some context, I suppose.

Briefly put: WenchInDisguise was born and raised in a coarse and black and white environment (think father was a foreman for prisoners/slaves). So she has some definite... ideas on who is worth what and how people and things should be treated.

Because of those ideas she thinks she is still too low and is determined to elevate herself. Wench is a conniving... wench. She must seem more refined, less hateful, less cold and remoseless than she is to raise herself up, to try to capture a man, to raise and maintain her standing. But if I just present only the false front then it's odd and jarring when she turns back to her true nature. If I don't then she's really one dimensional, obvious and the subsequent events don't have any impact.

I just can't seem to figure out how to unravel her to the reader.

Though I'm reading this reply over and I suspect it would take far more than some quick posts to sort it out.

I'm not sure that there is an answer I can get here but if you all can point me at something I can read/research, that would be great.

Why does she have to be 'unravelled'? It would be far more fun to watch her manipulation and social climbing. Manipulation is much more interesting to read about than niceness which is later found out to be false. If you want the audience to believe that she's nice for some of the book, the character could come off as wet and you lose readers before the character turns out to be not so nice.

You could present her as being slightly manipulative from the beginning and then slowly turn her more psycho/cold but seeing as the character's already a social climber, the reader knows she's a wench.
 

EnkelZ

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Because of those ideas she thinks she is still too low and is determined to elevate herself. Wench is a conniving... wench. She must seem more refined, less hateful, less cold and remoseless than she is to raise herself up, to try to capture a man, to raise and maintain her standing. But if I just present only the false front then it's odd and jarring when she turns back to her true nature. If I don't then she's really one dimensional, obvious and the subsequent events don't have any impact.

Just some thoughts...

Play with her language, make her course around those she deems unworthy and refined for those she's conning...

A player from the past shows up, threatens her status and she beats him sensless and dumps him still alive into a vat of boiling oil to protect her image... (okay, maybe a bit much there)

IF you have her lie, make it absolutely for convenience with no other purpose... e.g. she can not tell someone about an important message just because and something that is easily verified (but not verified). This lieing (sp?) for the sake of it is a maddening habit in addicted personalities. Then, like was posted above, when she gets caught, she just lies more until she gets the benifit of the doubt. Palin has some good work in this area.
 

bonitakale

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All good ideas. Agatha Christie has some characters like this. They seem sympathetic, until they turn out to be the murderer. I don't think she's always successful with it; but her trick is to be somewhat removed and objective about the character, or to have her admired mainly by rather foolish people.

Another thing you might consider is to compare her with someone else who's really good, someone who's all of a piece, who's straightforward. What seems like kind, friendly laughter could look much different by the end of the novel.

Or, here's an idea. Maybe she says she's a selfish, conniving person, but the other character(s) don't believe her. She seems to be laughing at herself, making fun, but actually it turns out she's telling the exact truth.

Or, depending on the plot, she seems to be truly honest with the main character, who tries to ignore hints that she's not honest with others. Then she shock comes when it turns out she's been playing the m.c. too.

Or, she wants to be good, like some other character, but it's too hard. She's really trying, but she gives up.
 

analias

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Wow, you've all come up with some excellent ideas! I'll have to play around with them a little bit. Although Lady Ice also makes a good point. My idea wasn't so much a twist ending but that I wanted her to be sympathetic for a specific event but maybe she doesn't have to be. Or maybe I can play with the timeline a little.

I have a feeling I'll be rewriting this character a few times :) You've all given me so many different ways to deal with her.

Thanks!
 
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