For as long as I can remember I've had a problem writing movement. Let's say my character is walking through a house...
"She opened the door, heading inside the entrance hall. The floor was laid with pink tiles, and a moose head hung from the wall. She continued into the kitchen: pots, pans, a dead mouse under the table. There was a door at the back; she opened it to a reveal a long corridor. She made her way along it to the other end, where it opened up into a large hall, big enough for a wedding party and then some. She walked across the hall to the other end, where a pair of doors opened out to the sunshine..."
Obviously that drabble has other problems but I find the movement from room to room to be oddly... jarring. Like it's happening too fast, and it's all "She headed" or "She went". And despite the size of the hall, she gets across it in a single subclause. Does anyone have any tips for writing about movement when characters are simply trying to get from A to B?
"She opened the door, heading inside the entrance hall. The floor was laid with pink tiles, and a moose head hung from the wall. She continued into the kitchen: pots, pans, a dead mouse under the table. There was a door at the back; she opened it to a reveal a long corridor. She made her way along it to the other end, where it opened up into a large hall, big enough for a wedding party and then some. She walked across the hall to the other end, where a pair of doors opened out to the sunshine..."
Obviously that drabble has other problems but I find the movement from room to room to be oddly... jarring. Like it's happening too fast, and it's all "She headed" or "She went". And despite the size of the hall, she gets across it in a single subclause. Does anyone have any tips for writing about movement when characters are simply trying to get from A to B?
