The word "boyfriend" just doesn't fit in my psuedo-medieval world. Suggestions?

evol_reed · Jan 2, 2010

So I've just started book two in the series I'm writing and I've stumbled upon a problem I need help with. My story is set in a psuedo-medieval world. I'm describing some youthful dalliances and am having trouble with the terminology. There's a boy whose "dating" a girl but the words "dating, boyfriend, going out" don't jibe with the language of the book. I really don't want to use the word "courting" as these are young teens that I'm describing and I'm not sure that word is appropriate. Suggestions?

maxmordon · Jan 2, 2010

Bethroting? Though I think that's more a marriage connection...

mscelina · Jan 2, 2010

beau, courtier, suitor

sheadakota · Jan 2, 2010

I think courting would be appropriate- peopple got married in their teens in medieval times- didn't they?

mscelina · Jan 2, 2010

Girls did.

Deleted member 42 · Jan 2, 2010

leman; it's mostly used for women in medieval English through late renaissance poetry, but it began as a non-gendered version of beloved.

Etymologically, it's lief + man, where man = person, and lief = dear

Xelebes · Jan 2, 2010

mscelina said:
Girls did.

Men had to wait a while.

Beau, courtier and suitor all work.

evol_reed · Jan 2, 2010

Beau! Perfect. Thank you Xelebes. I knew the right word was out there, it just wasn't coming to me.

maxmordon · Jan 2, 2010

Xelebes said:
Men had to wait a while.

Beau, courtier and suitor all work.

On the 1940 Venezuelan Constitution the legal age for a female to marry was 12 and the legal for a male was 14, unless the boy in question had already a firm job. So, I guess it would be something along those lines.

The Black Ghost · Jan 2, 2010

Yeah, courting would probably be the "appropriate" terminology of the day, but I beleive they could be described as "lovers" (like Romeo and Juliet I think). maybe thats too scandalous though

I dont think "dating" really worked the same way it does today in the past. But luckily this is not the real world were talking about right?

small axe · Jan 3, 2010

My concern would be that "court" would have other meanings in a medieval sense? The King and Royalty might be "court" and a commoner might never use that term? But I'm guessing. Another issue might be if "beau" were considered as being too "French" ? Either because nations hostile to French might not use a French word (and even if you're having them speak a fictional language, if you're writing in English then THAT is their native fictional language to the reader ... but French is still French (which wouldn't exist in your fictional context?)

I like it when lovers call each other their "swan" ... a person of grace and beauty (that's an actual definition, beside the common use meaning the bird) ... it's just sounds archaic and poetic imo.

waylander · Jan 3, 2010

The Black Ghost said:
Yeah, courting would probably be the "appropriate" terminology of the day, but I beleive they could be described as "lovers" (like Romeo and Juliet I think). maybe thats too scandalous though

I dont think "dating" really worked the same way it does today in the past. But luckily this is not the real world were talking about right?

A phrase I have heard used is 'walking out'

waylander · Jan 3, 2010

Xelebes said:
Men had to wait a while.

Beau, courtier and suitor all work.

Depends entirely on who your family was. Marriage for social status and dowry was hugely important. Young people (especially girls) often got very little choice. Marriage in early teens (even pre-teens) was common, with consummation expected as soon as menses started.

megan_d · Jan 3, 2010

I suspect a quick flick through an Austin novel would give you some ideas for words to use.

Sarpedon · Jan 3, 2010

She could just say that he is her man. This would be easy to understand. Unless of course she was a noblewoman and would have vassals, who could be referred to as her men without any sexual connotation.

In many languages the same word is used for 'wife' and 'woman.' going the other way is not as common, but I don't think there'd be too much confusion.

Mr Flibble · Jan 3, 2010

The Black Ghost said:
Yeah, courting would probably be the "appropriate" terminology of the day, but I beleive they could be described as "lovers" (like Romeo and Juliet I think). maybe thats too scandalous though

Actually lovers only began to have *ahem* certain connotations quite late. In the Twenties even,( iirc) 'making love' was actually what we'd called necking or making out or whathave you. Talking sweet nothings and a kiss kinda deal. So lover would work, if you made it clear that it's 'The one you love' rather than the modern meaning...Although one suspects young'uns did that too, even more so then than they do now

The Black Ghost · Jan 3, 2010

IdiotsRUs said:
Actually lovers only began to have *ahem* certain connotations quite late. In the Twenties even,( iirc) 'making love' was actually what we'd called necking or making out or whathave you. Talking sweet nothings and a kiss kinda deal. So lover would work, if you made it clear that it's 'The one you love' rather than the modern meaning...Although one suspects young'uns did that too, even more so then than they do now

Exactly...

Although, I suppose in the scenario that this author is talking about it would not be the correct connotation

Straka · Jan 3, 2010

Granted I'm no scholar, but I would think it's tricky because I don't believe the notion of "dating" existed. My impression of the period is, you either fooled around behind closed doors or you were married before the bedding began. Peasants had the option to marry for love, sometimes, but what I'm thinking is they had less freedom to go out into society and be seen as an unmarried couple. And since they are commoners, it can't be "courtly lover" either.

Courting to me implies tradition, and along with that adult approval and supervision.

Since this is not a historical work, why not make something up?

BillPatt · Jan 3, 2010

Swain.

Another good source for terms might be Shakespeare in the original.

Deleted member 42 · Jan 3, 2010

Straka said:
Granted I'm no scholar, but I would think it's tricky because I don't believe the notion of "dating" existed.

The idea of courting, and wooing, certainly did. The whole business of adolescent courtship behaviors (i.e. sending your best friend to pave the way before asking her to walk with you) certainly did. Flirting certainly did. There are various sorts of rings for romantic relationship tokens/love tokens going all the way back to the Romans in Britain, including those with British (Welsh and Cumbric) text on them, (vs. Latin), right through the seventeenth century.

sunandshadow · Jan 3, 2010

Sweetheart seems like a good word if you want to imply that the relationship is chaste.

evol_reed · Jan 3, 2010

Sweetheart...

that's actually quite perfect. These are young folks and I took "courting" to be more of marriage-minded wooing, and these kids definitely aren't marriage-minded.

Thank you all for the very thoughtful replies.

Straka · Jan 3, 2010

Sweetheart is good. I was going to suggest Lady Friend too

third person · Jan 4, 2010

how about simply "my man" (or my ___, where the blank would be his name) or "my woman" (as most men in that period probably thought of their S/O as property)?

Elias Graves · Jan 6, 2010

Been reading a lot of essays and such from the period.
One was a recounting of priests who weren't following orders. Their affairs were described as "being ill famed" and "incontinent.l
I don't think that's what you are looking for though.
In the European middle ages the entire notion of relationships was quite different. People simply didn't have the time or freedom to "date." Families arranged marriages at extremely young ages and the two sexes were kept quite seperate from one another, especially youths.
Happiness, laughter and joy in general were viewed with disdain in many areas. Physical pleasure was nothing more than a way for Satan to make his way into one's life. Even marital sex was not to be enjoyed but only employed to reproduce.
Of course reality often intervened...

EG

The word "boyfriend" just doesn't fit in my psuedo-medieval world. Suggestions?

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