Help breaking a nasty habit. 'Filtering"

barbilarry · Dec 26, 2009

Filtering in my writing is driving me crazy.

He did...
She didn't...
He couldn't...
Elizabeth touched...
Joel hugged...
Jade refused...

Four out of five sentences start this way. It ruins the whole scene.

I'm writing the main part of of a 3600 word scene. It is all action.
1st pov and past tense.

The more I try to get rid of the filtering the worse it becomes.
Does anyone have any sugestions for breaking this nasty habit.

Thanks for any help in advance.
Jane

JulieHowe · Dec 26, 2009

In my own writing, I use find and replace like an assassin in Microsoft Word. My trouble word is that.

Find: That

Go to advanced options: check the box for 'whole words only' (this keeps you from deleting half of compound words).

Replace: Leave the replace line blank, and then let Word make this change throughout the whole document.

After this is done, I go back and edit the whole document, replacing the overused word with something different. Turning on grammar check also helps, because the blank space around the now-missing words are usually highlighted in green.

barbilarry · Dec 26, 2009

Thank you very much JulieHowe, much appreciated.

aadams73 · Dec 26, 2009

None of your examples are filtering, they're just plain telling.

Filtering includes things such as:

He heard

He saw

He felt

He tasted

And they are NOT always a bad thing. Just use them sparingly where needed.

barbilarry · Dec 26, 2009

aadams73 said:
None of your examples are filtering, they're just plain telling.

Filtering includes things such as:

He heard

He saw

He felt

He tasted

And they are NOT always a bad thing. Just use them sparingly where needed.

Now I feel more stupid than I did before I posted. Thank you for setting me straight. Much appreciated.

scarletpeaches · Dec 26, 2009

Agree with aadams73 up to a point. I hate filtering because it puts the reader at one remove from the character.

Don't tell me what they saw, felt, heard. Just describe the sight, the feeling, the sound. I'll know who's seeing, feeling, hearing it as long as you don't head-jump and it's clear from whose POV you're writing. I just want to experience what they experience, not be told that they're experiencing it.

Ugh. Repetition of words. Hell, we'll just say 'repetition for emphasis' and call it good.

barbilarry · Dec 26, 2009

Yes thank you Scarlet. You were the one who taught me what it was. Now I see it. Just having a damned hard time fixing it. Now I just have to break the habit of doing it. I'm afraid that speaks more of my inability to write a good 'experiencing' sentence or a string of them.

Exir · Dec 26, 2009

Break the habit during revision.

barbilarry · Dec 26, 2009

Thank you Exir. I have heard that many times today.

Ehab.Ahmed · Dec 26, 2009

I'm struggling with filters as well. Still, I'm trying my best to paint a perfect picture. The feeling part is sometimes hard to show, for me anyway.

raburrell · Dec 26, 2009

You could try getting 'closer' to your character while writing. Don't think of her smelling a scent of violets every time she gets close to her grandmother (example) and try to write that, instead, describe the smell of the violets.

So...
She smelled violets on grandmother's sweater, the same as she did every day.
becomes...
The sweet perfume of violets always lingered around Grandmother's clothing, a symbolic memory of my grandfather's affections.
(or more simply, without the flowery crap, you can just remove the 'she smelled'):
Grandmother's sweater smelled of violets, the same as it always did.

It sounds like you've got a good grasp on what your telly words are, so when you find yourself typing them, back up and see if you can't find a more descriptive way to get the point across. In many cases, 'filtering' can be solved by removing the two filter words (she smelled, in this case) and possibly reordering a little. If we know whose head we're in, we don't need the additional descriptive action provided by the filter.

barbilarry · Dec 26, 2009

It is for me also. I have been writing practices in the erotica forum. It has helped me dicover where my weaknesses are in writing emotions and feelings. And the feed back has taught me so much about it. I would not have known I was doing this if not for the lessons learned there. You might want to lurk there in there SYW and see if it would help you with it also.

barbilarry · Dec 26, 2009

rayburrell, that is exactly how I need to write this. Thank you very much for the examples.

seun · Dec 27, 2009

barbilarry said:
Now I feel more stupid than I did before I posted. Thank you for setting me straight. Much appreciated.

No need to feel stupid. This is how we all learn.

aadams73 · Dec 27, 2009

Yup, exactly. We all have our forehead-slapping moments.

And I still say (as does every editor I've worked with) that the occasional, "I felt stupid," is just fine. Filtering is a tool just like any other. Use it when nothing else will do.

scarletpeaches · Dec 27, 2009

Oh of course, we monkey about with rules all the time for effect. But filtering is one of those things which is so easy to overdo.

Also - still loving that avatar.

Libbie · Dec 27, 2009

You'll get there, Barbilarry! Keep up all the good work. I'm really impressed by your attitude toward learning and improving your work. I'm sure you'll achieve your goals one day.

barbilarry · Dec 27, 2009

Hugs to you, kind lady. I have read and admired your posts since my first day and appreciate all the help you have given me over the past month. Thank you.

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