Changing from 3rd person to 2nd person

RikkiKane · Dec 22, 2009

I was reading a short zombie story called "The song the zombie sang" and I encountered something I haven't yet seen in 3rd person ltd. Basically, the POV suddenly changed to 2nd person when the character began to play the piano.

It went something like: "Bekh dropped his shoulders and began to knock out the first few notes. There. Right there. The music flew from the instrument. The room fills with sound and hits the audience in a dozen senses at once. Oh yes. He becomes the music, he is the muic. It's so beautiful and can he bare it? Beethoven wouldn't have played like this but it's good, oh so good. It's so beautiful. Will he cry? Can he cry? What do they think of him, he is nothing."

Have any of you often seen writing like this and is it often ok to do it? I would really like to introduce it when my character plays the piano in one of my novels.

willietheshakes · Dec 22, 2009

I'm confused -- where's the second person POV?

CaroGirl · Dec 22, 2009

Do you mean the author changes from past tense to present tense?

Terie · Dec 22, 2009

RikkiKane said:
I was reading a short zombie story called "The song the zombie sang" and I encountered something I haven't yet seen in 3rd person ltd. Basically, the POV suddenly changed to 2nd person when the character began to play the piano.

It went something like: "Bekh dropped his shoulders and began to knock out the first few notes. There. Right there. The music flew from the instrument. The room fills with sound and hits the audience in a dozen senses at once. Oh yes. He becomes the music, he is the muic. It's so beautiful and can he bare it? Beethoven wouldn't have played like this but it's good, oh so good. It's so beautiful. Will he cry? Can he cry? What do they think of him, he is nothing."

Have any of you often seen writing like this and is it often ok to do it? I would really like to introduce it when my character plays the piano in one of my novels.

Huh? There's no second-person POV there. Do you mean the shift from past tense to present?

Assuming that's what you meant, this is a stylistic thing that's perfectly okay when done well. This the paragraph works well for me. I don't mind the shift at all, and possibly wouldn't even have noticed it if it hadn't been brought to my attention.

If you meant something else, you'll need to clarify, because, as I said, there's no second-person ('you') POV in that paragraph.

(If it were second-person, it would be something like this [punctuation problems aside]: 'You become the music, you are the music. It's so beautiful and can you bare [er, "bear"] it? Beethoven wouldn't have played like this but it's good, oh so good. It's so beautiful. Will you cry? Can you cry? What do they think of you, you are nothing.')

Phaeal · Dec 22, 2009

The shift, as noted, is in tense, not person. I imagine the writer thinks the drop into present tense intensifies the emotion of the passage, perhaps simulates a deeper dip into the character's mind.

Kalyke · Dec 22, 2009

Isn't that third person present? As in past, present, future, (did, does, will do), not first, second, third (I, You, He). He becomes the music... When writer's write in third person, don't they almost always write Third person in the past? He became the music... (He did something...)

Sure I've seen it. Ondatjje does it alot among other writers. I think it gives the whole paragraph an introspective/ focused mood, and suggests a person who is "at one" with something.

RikkiKane · Dec 29, 2009

Oh god, sorry I feel so stupid. Yes, I was talking about the changing of the tense.

kuwisdelu · Dec 29, 2009

Nothing whatsoever to do with the change in tense you posted.

But for what it's worth, I have switched from 3rd person to 2nd person mid-paragraph.

Libbie · Dec 29, 2009

Tense-swapping (this is tense, as already noted, and not perspective) usually doesn't work out well, but when it works it really wallops you. Just goes to show you can bend the rules in pretty extreme ways, and to great effect, once you have a good understanding of why they're there in the first place.

Maxinquaye · Dec 29, 2009

Though there's no change of POV there, I do want to write a story in 2nd person imperative one day.

'You must go up the stairs to the right, and you must ignore the old woman sitting in the stairs, even if she speaks to you.'

willietheshakes · Dec 29, 2009

Maxinquaye said:
Though there's no change of POV there, I do want to write a story in 2nd person imperative one day.

'You must go up the stairs to the right, and you must ignore the old woman sitting in the stairs, even if she speaks to you.'

"If you listen to what she says, turn to page 187. If you decide to kick her as you pass, turn to page 93."

erin_michelle · Dec 29, 2009

^Teehee. I *loved* those stories when I younger. Of course, I would go back and switch my decision if I fell down a black hole or went down with the Titanic.

Miss T · Mar 8, 2010

In that passage, I saw it as moving from the action to editorializing, maybe thought.

I'm not a fan of the passage you quoted, but I won't entirely rule out the possibility of doing it well. It'd be tricky, though.

Matera the Mad · Mar 9, 2010

To me, it's obviously the character's thoughts. And it's not second person. It is rather a switch from past tense to present, which doubles the WTF factor.

I hope that it was "bear" in the original, not "bare".

bettielee · Mar 10, 2010

willietheshakes said:
"If you listen to what she says, turn to page 187. If you decide to kick her as you pass, turn to page 93."

omg! I was going to mention those! You beat me to it.

Changing from 3rd person to 2nd person

RikkiKane

willietheshakes

Gentleman. Scholar. Bastard.

CaroGirl

Living the dream

Terie

Writer is as Writer does

Phaeal

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.

Kalyke

RikkiKane

kuwisdelu

Revolutionize the World

Libbie

Worst song played on ugliest guitar

Maxinquaye

That cheeky buggerer

willietheshakes

Gentleman. Scholar. Bastard.

erin_michelle

Foreshadowing Queen

Miss T

Matera the Mad

Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint

bettielee

I'm a sparkly fairy princess!