I Don't Want Your Candy! Safety Picture Books.

LadyExecutive · Dec 17, 2009

My name is Shay and I am the Founder and CEO of The Exodus League Child Safety Council, Inc., an organization whose mission is to promote a zero tolerance, proactive approach to child exploitation. Just recently, however, and in response to the rising concern of child exploitation, I have penned a picture book titled -- Don’t Want Your Candy! Similar to Dr. Suisse's Green Eggs and Ham, I Don’t Want Your Candy! is composed in a melodic repetitive prose, utilizing limerick and tempo, to educate first time learners about safety and prevention.

The repetition furnishes an easily identified pattern prompting children to make unprompted predictions. At the same time, the book directs young children to remember fundamental facts about incongruous touching, playing outside in the dark, and running off by themselves. In addition to this, the book also instructs young children to notify their parents or someone they trust, if they feel they have been touched inappropriately. A must have for every parent and teacher, this useful book helps make a frightening subject easy-minus the paranoia.

I Don’t Want Your Candy! is a short, never boring, read aloud book, which I expect will have lots of bright pictures. It is aimed at pushing the limitation of the reader’s imaginativeness by teaching the reader to avoid everyday threats. It also allows the reader to use expression and dramatizations, while promoting child protection, whether the child is at home, school, on the playground or anywhere else. The text is vivacious and rollicking. Its predictability makes this a good early reader. The chantable text is also easily understood and possibly even singable as it gives insight into inappropriate behavior between adults and children.

The reason why I feel compelled to supply you with a synopsis of my book is so that you (my new forum friends) would have enough facts to provide me with an informed response to my perplexities. Although I have combed the internet, and have essentially looked up many of the literary agents and traditional publishers suggested, I have not been able to resolve whether or not any publisher or agents would be willing to work with authors who address themes of child abuse prevention. While I have located many who work with children picture books, I haven’t seen any that addresses subjects of this sensitive nature.

I have provided a copy of my manuscript to several people that I trust (professors, teachers and friends) and they all believe that I Don’t Want Your Candy! is not only timely but that the book is a superlative idea. Armed with the knowledge of the type of book I've written, please let me if you know of any publishers or literary agents willing to entertain subjects addressing child sexual abuse? If so, I would be delighted to hear any opinions or suggestions you can provide. In the meantime, I thank you for taking the time to read and to respond to my inquiry.

Obliged,

Shay

Cyia · Dec 17, 2009

The big question with this is whether or not any of those people know anything about the publishing industry, more specifically picture book publishing. There are very specific constraints for length, word count, and context which a potential PB must fit into.

How long is your book? How many words and how many pages?

Another thing you have to consider is that this is a "lesson" book, and those aren't so hot. Kids don't like to be "taught" things in their books (meaning they don't want to pick up a book knowing it's going to be making them learn something. A book can be educational, but it must be fun first). Publishers know this, so it's hard to find one willing to put out what they consider a "one read" book.

Even with PB, you have to have a plot. The characters have to do something and have a goal.

If your correspondence with agents/publishers is anywhere near the tone of what you've written here, you've probably encountered problems. The way you write a cover letter is going to need to reflect the tone of the book, and your writing - while professional - is stiff. The words are too big for small children, and the tone is almost condescending, like you're talking down to the kids you want to help. That's a bad (and most likely unintentional) thing. Nothing about it speaks to being light or sing-song (like Seuss). You can't just tell an agent/publisher that a book is like______; you have to show that you're capable of maintaining that kind of tone in a natural and organic manner.

I'd suggest posting your PB in Share Your Work here (password: vista). Just put it up in the Children's section, and the people here can weigh in on its strengths and weaknesses.

You can also go to verlakay.com and check the forums there, as they are geared toward children's books.

RoseColoredSkies · Dec 17, 2009

You won't know whether they're interested until you try. Write up a letter (I'm not 100% sure the format for picture books other than you send the whole manuscript with the letter), and contact agents.

On a side note, I agree that the topic is timely.

stormie · Dec 17, 2009

Or the ICL (Institute of Children's Literature). They have an entire section called "Rx for Writers." A lot of great info and you don't have to take their courses.

Most agents don't take on PBs unless maybe if you're established with the agent already and they'll rep it. You can also go here (the Children's Book Council) for publishers taking unagented PB submissions.

And as Cyia said, post a portion in the SYW section on AW.

IceCreamEmpress · Dec 17, 2009

Some really good resources for people interested in children's publishing--in addition to the "Writing for Kids" subforum here--are VerlaKay.com and SCBWI.org.

Get a sense of what a successful query letter looks like from there. Best of luck.

Kitty Pryde · Dec 17, 2009

There are lots of books that teach kids about stranger danger, good touch vs. bad touch, and the importance of reporting abuse. Have you read all those books? (Albert Whitman Publishing alone has three!) And if so, what distinguishes your book from all of those? Why is yours better and needed? Your letter has to reflect that. There's lots of good advice on writing a query letter on this site and over at Nathan Bransford's blog too.

One other thing I'll mention is that it's really hard to write a rhyming picture book. Writing stuff that rhymes is easy, but getting the rhythm and the meter right is tough. I second the suggestion to post your story in our Share Your Work forum for feedback.

I'll be blunt and say that this letter doesn't show that you know the market for either rhyming PBs or abuse prevention PBs. You misspelled Dr. Seuss, and you state that "Green Eggs and Ham" uses limerick. It does not. "Green Eggs and Ham" is written in iambic tetrameter and trochaic tetrameter (daDUM daDUM daDUM daDUM, and DUMda DUMda DUMda DUMda, respectively). On the other hand, a limerick is a five line poem with an aabba rhyme scheme that always follows the exact same meter, for example:

The limerick's callous and crude,
Its morals distressingly lewd;
It's not worth the reading
By persons of breeding -
It's designed for us vulgar and rude.

But welcome to AW! Stick around and you can learn a lot and help you improve your writing and querying

LadyExecutive · Dec 17, 2009

Cyia said:
The big question with this is whether or not any of those people know anything about the publishing industry, more specifically picture book publishing. There are very specific constraints for length, word count, and context which a potential PB must fit into.

How long is your book? How many words and how many pages?

Another thing you have to consider is that this is a "lesson" book, and those aren't so hot. Kids don't like to be "taught" things in their books (meaning they don't want to pick up a book knowing it's going to be making them learn something. A book can be educational, but it must be fun first). Publishers know this, so it's hard to find one willing to put out what they consider a "one read" book.

Even with PB, you have to have a plot. The characters have to do something and have a goal.

If your correspondence with agents/publishers is anywhere near the tone of what you've written here, you've probably encountered problems. The way you write a cover letter is going to need to reflect the tone of the book, and your writing - while professional - is stiff. The words are too big for small children, and the tone is almost condescending, like you're talking down to the kids you want to help. That's a bad (and most likely unintentional) thing. Nothing about it speaks to being light or sing-song (like Seuss). You can't just tell an agent/publisher that a book is like______; you have to show that you're capable of maintaining that kind of tone in a natural and organic manner.

I'd suggest posting your PB in Share Your Work here (password: vista). Just put it up in the Children's section, and the people here can weigh in on its strengths and weaknesses.

You can also go to verlakay.com and check the forums there, as they are geared toward children's books.

Thank you for responding to my query. What I've written in my post here, no way reflects the content of what I've written in my picture book. No way! I would never write this way for an audience of children. I have three daughters and when I write, I write with them in mind. The message I've posted in this forum was to give the audience here, an analysis of the goal of my book and to find out whether or not you feel a publisher may be interested in a topic like this. I haven't contacted any publishers or literary agents, and when I do, my query letter would not be written like this. I have several excellent letters and I plan to draw from them.

I appreciate your time. I really do.

Hugs,

Shay

LadyExecutive · Dec 17, 2009

Kitty Pryde said:
There are lots of books that teach kids about stranger danger, good touch vs. bad touch, and the importance of reporting abuse. Have you read all those books? (Albert Whitman Publishing alone has three!) And if so, what distinguishes your book from all of those? Why is yours better and needed? Your letter has to reflect that. There's lots of good advice on writing a query letter on this site and over at Nathan Bransford's blog too.

One other thing I'll mention is that it's really hard to write a rhyming picture book. Writing stuff that rhymes is easy, but getting the rhythm and the meter right is tough. I second the suggestion to post your story in our Share Your Work forum for feedback.

I'll be blunt and say that this letter doesn't show that you know the market for either rhyming PBs or abuse prevention PBs. You misspelled Dr. Seuss, and you state that "Green Eggs and Ham" uses limerick. It does not. "Green Eggs and Ham" is written in iambic tetrameter and trochaic tetrameter (daDUM daDUM daDUM daDUM, and DUMda DUMda DUMda DUMda, respectively). On the other hand, a limerick is a five line poem with an aabba rhyme scheme that always follows the exact same meter, for example:

The limerick's callous and crude,
Its morals distressingly lewd;
It's not worth the reading
By persons of breeding -
It's designed for us vulgar and rude.

But welcome to AW! Stick around and you can learn a lot and help you improve your writing and querying

Thank you for your thoughts.

stormie · Dec 18, 2009

One thing that wasn't mentioned: Most publishers of PBs want to see the entire ms. so you'd be sending them a brief cover letter, not a query.

And again, you really might want to post a portion of the ms. in the writing for children SYW section on AW.

Good luck!

MsJudy · Dec 19, 2009

After reading both your threads, I'm curious. Did you write this book because you didn't realize there were already books on the subject? Or did you write it because you want to learn how to write children's books?

It seems to me there are two different things going on here. One is that your organization is looking for resources they can offer children and parents to help kids understand how to protect themselves. If that is the case, then I think you'll find there are already some very good books that have been developed on the subject, and you can refer families and teachers to those. This is an area where the author is usually NOT a PB writer by profession, really. They are usually written by a child psychologist or therapist, maybe in tandem with a children's author. The psychologist or therapist knows what the message needs to be and how it needs to be conveyed in a way that a child will understand without being frightened to death. It's not an easy thing to do, as a six-year-old will need the message expressed in a very different way than an 11-year-old will. The children's author, if one is used, will usually be hired by the publisher under contract to essentially ghostwrite the book--use her skills with language to put the psychological message into a format that works as a book.

This is a very big undertaking, and one you probably don't need to do unless you've researched the books already available and found them lacking some very specific quality. And then the best approach would be to submit a proposal to those publishers, giving your credentials and why you feel there is a need for a different kind of book. Selling a non-fiction book is different from selling a picture book story. What you have so far is not a story, so it wouldn't be queried to agents and publishers as though it were.

Selling a non-fiction book is all about your credentials. What qualifies you to write on this subject, makes you more of an expert than those child psychologists they've already worked with in the past? Agents call that your platform--what makes you the best person to write this kind of book.

Now, on the other hand, maybe I'm misunderstanding your goal, and what you really want is to learn how to write for children. In that case, please follow the advice you've already been given, and read the "Stickies" at the beginning of the Writing for Kids forum. You will find all the information you need about what makes a good picture book and how to approach agents/editors once you really do have a good one to sell.

But please be warned: Writing for children is much, much, much harder than most people realize. And the picture book market is very, very, very difficult to break into. You may find that you don't really want to take that kind of energy away from your foundation.

stormie · Dec 19, 2009

Agents don't usually look at these forums for potential clients. You should read all the responses to you on the other thread here.

The important things to note are how your book is different from others out there on child safety, what your credentials are in this area, and what experience you have in writing for children in different age groups.

veinglory · Dec 19, 2009

This is just my perspective, but to me the book sounds a little old-fashioned as an approach, focussed solely on "stranger danger"? It might be wise to synchronise your book with the current curriculum, e.g. "good and bad touching".

BetsyJ · Dec 21, 2009

Hi Shay--

You're getting lots of good advice here. I second just about everything that's been said.

I'm the author of a five-book series entitled STAY ON THE SAFE SIDE that covers many of the same topics and themes you mention (including good and bad touches), for grades K-8. The series was funded by a grant from the Office of Criminal Justice Planning in California. Before I wrote the curriculum, I researched other material to see what was already available. There was quite a bit of material on abuse and similar topics, and that was in 1987. I was hired to produce this curriculum and it was used in the California schools for many years.

The material I wrote was for a specific organization that had a mandate to teach in the schools using materials that featured McGruff the Crime Dog. You might want to contact organizations that have a similar objective, maybe through law enforcement agencies.

As others have said, a trade publisher isn't going to want to take this on unless:

1. you have something new to say
2. you have special expertise in the field
3. you've thought of an entertaining, non-preachy way of getting your material across

Books that "teach" children or have any kind of a preachy tone would not appeal to a commerical publisher. Sorry, that's just the way it is.

At first glance, the kind of material you want to write doesn't seem appropriate for rhyming verse, which is usually whimsical and light-hearted.

I agree that you need to learn more about the field of children's publishing. Your original post reveals a lack of knowledge about some of the basics. I suggest you hang out here and on Verla Kay's blue board until you get more of a feel for the profession.

Ellen Jackson
www.ellenjackson.net

I Don't Want Your Candy! Safety Picture Books.

LadyExecutive

Cyia

Rewriting My Destiny

RoseColoredSkies

It's a long and winding road

stormie

storm central

IceCreamEmpress

Hapless Virago

Kitty Pryde

i luv you giant bear statue

LadyExecutive

LadyExecutive

stormie

storm central

MsJudy

stormie

storm central

veinglory

volitare nequeo

BetsyJ

Ellen Jackson, author